It’s Okay To Be Angry About Chronic Illness (I Am!)

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Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

The Beginning

I want to tackle a hard subject today…the emotions that surround living with a Chronic Illness. Every day, we survive the physical pain, but we don’t always talk about the emotional pain that comes with being ill. Let’s change that now. 

When I first started feeling the effects of Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis along with my other Chronic Illnesses, I was generally able to function without a lot of changes in my life. I needed some pain medication but found that it helped and didn’t really alter my life, so ended up having some fairly easy years after my initial diagnosis. 

After a period of time, the medication needed to be increased and new drugs had to be introduced to help combat the increasing pain and symptoms. I started taking Lyrica for my Fibro  – a drug that saw me gain 40lbs in 3 months. This is when I first realized that having Chronic Illness was affecting me mentally – I was pissed about the weight gain but resigned to the fact I’d have to live with it. Thankfully my doctor worked with me to find Cymbalta instead and I managed to lose most of the weight I had gained. 

Thus began a pattern where the drugs would work for a while and then lose their effectiveness, necessitating an increase or change in meds, which triggered more anger and emotion. It was a vicious circle…I just wanted to be rid of the pain I was in, but it was getting harder and harder. The side effects of the various meds being introduced were also debilitating and my anger grew at what my body was putting me through. 

As Things Changed

Then came the point where my body had become so broken down that I needed to leave my job and go on long term disability. I can still remember to this day, 10 years later, how incredibly disappointed in myself I was. My body had betrayed me in every way possible. I was at the top of my career with the opportunity to move into some dream roles and suddenly that was all snatched away from me. Devastated doesn’t even begin to come close to how I felt and I ended up in a depression that was hard to come back from. 

It took me a long time to realize that my feelings were valid and I was entitled to feel how I felt. I thought I had to suck it up for everyone around me, and that just wasn’t a place I was ready for. I hadn’t processed my emotions, and they felt just as raw a year later as they had when I first left work. It was only through taking some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) classes that I started to see how I could validate my feelings yet work through them and come out stronger. 

Having these strong emotions was scary though because I couldn’t separate them at first from the actions of being in pain, and just feeling like a failure as a person. It took time to realize that I had not failed, but my body had. Two very different things. By recognizing the difference, I was able to start accepting that I was not a bad person and that I had done nothing to cause this to happen.

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Image by Sarah Lötscher from Pixabay 

It’s Not Your Fault

I didn’t ask for Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue. I was simply unlucky enough to be a person to have to live with these conditions and that meant I had to find a healthier way of dealing with the emotions this generated. I was not unreliable, my health caused my reliability to suffer. My worth was not just because of my job, but by virtue of simply being here. I was still a good person who had something bad happen to her. 

Do you see where I’m coming from and what I’m trying to say? Just because you have a Chronic Illness doesn’t make you a bad person. This condition has happened to you and changed you, against your will. Learning how to live with it becomes the new normal. Once I recognized this, I was able to take a step back and start taking my life back again. 

Making Changes

I worked with my doctor to find a treatment plan that benefited me. This included some medication changes and additions, as well as adding healthy new components to my life such as meditation, music therapy, gentle exercise, stretching, beginners yoga and balancing my eating habits. I stopped feeling guilty when I had to cancel or change plans because Illness took over. I couldn’t help it when those things happened, so why blame myself? I put the blame where it belonged…on my Illnesses, and left it there. 

I was blessed to be able to start this blog, so I could reach out to others with Chronic Pain conditions and help them navigate their way through their experiences. It was very empowering for me and I gained back huge amounts of confidence as I wrote articles and posts. Knowing I was reaching others and actually helping them was a huge confidence booster. 

I also found myself able to start volunteering again, and now sit on 4 different committees, all devoted to aspects of health care. I am a member of a Provincial Measurement Working Group, creating a survey for patients in BC, Canada about their ER experiences. I continue to seek out new opportunities to volunteer and was recently nominated for two WEGO Health Awards – one for Best in Show: Blog and one for Best Kept Secret (regarding my blog). You can click here for more information about my nominations. 

To wrap this up, I want to reiterate that I think it’s important to sit with your feelings on a regular basis when you live with Chronic Illness. If you need the help of a professional therapist to process what you’re going through, do it. There’s no shame and definitely no harm in learning how to deal with all the emotions that come with a Chronic condition. In fact, I highly recommend it as a part of your overall treatment plan. 

We go through so much on a daily basis that the notion we’re not affected emotionally is ludicrous. Don’t fall into the trap of being “stoic” and taking the attitude that you can handle things on your own if you truly can’t. Reach out for help, whether it be a professional, a friend, or a spiritual advisor. The peace of mind of knowing you’re not alone in your feelings is precious. And remember…

There Is Always Hope

 

 

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10 Top Health & Wellness Trends For 2019

Today I am featuring an article that first appeared on MadebyHemp.com, with their permission. 

Health and Wellness Trends

This year has been a year when most of the world focused on health and wellness in a more holistic manner: both physical and mental wellness. So what can we expect to see in the health and wellness sphere for the rest of 2019?

1. Ayurveda

The 5,000-year-old health system, Ayurveda (in Sanskrit means “knowledge of life”) is responsible for a lot of health movements in 2018. Perhaps the most familiar of which would be the ketogenic diet. Ayurveda is an old system of medicine that incorporates plants and animal products, particularly fats. The practice of Ayurveda involves using fats both for consumption, meaning eating fats like ghee, and external use, like oils for the skin. The practice connects both mind and body in bringing about wellness.

Ayurveda

2. More Plant Based Alternatives

2018 has seen the rise of plant based food, a whopping 23% rise in sales. Gone are the days when the choices we had regarding plant based food were TVP and tofu. Now it is beginning to look like there will be a huge movement in the plant based fish sector. Expect your local Whole Foods aisles to have more plant based fish meat choices. The plant based fish movement stemmed from the awareness of people of the negative impact of overfishing has on our environment.

3. More Sleep

A lot of people, students and workers alike, are severely lacking in sleep. In the coming year, we will have a better understanding of our circadian rhythm and the effects of melatonin and cortisol on our sleep patterns. If these two hormones get out of whack, our circadian rhythm will be thrown out of its cycle and our sleep gets messed up.

Getting a Good Night's Sleep

4. CBD Oil

This year has seen a massive rise in popularity of CBD oil. Despite its being taboo in certain circles, Whole Foods Market’s projection predicts that CBD oil will have an even higher spike in popularity in 2019.

Expect that in the coming year, we will be learning more about the endocannabinoid system or the ECS. This is a major bodily system which compounds like CBD and other cannabinoids interact with. We have seen how CBD oil has helped manage anxiety and we’ve marveled at its anti-inflammatory and anti-seizure effects. Cannabis might also help with setting our sleep pattern straight. It most certainly helps with keeping a lid on anxiety and stress.

5. Eco-consciousness

More and more people are becoming aware of global warming and the dire situation the Earth is currently in. Expect that in 2019, the strong rise of the eco-friendly movement will continue. It is predicted that the use of single use plastics and other single use items will see a further decline and the BYOB (bring your own bag) movement will continue to become more popular.

Eco-Consciousness

6. Mental Health

This year, mental health continues to be given its due importance. People are now realizing that in order to be physically healthy, you need to think about your mental health as well. Hemp based products (like CBD oil) has become a more popular alternative to the usual stress medications. It is predicted that 2019 will see the continuation of this mental health trend.

7. Oat milk

Is oat milk the new soy? This year, sales have grown by an impressive 45%. Lactose averse people have found a good alternative to dairy and soy milk and the rise of its popularity does not seem to be ending soon. Grab yourself a bottle of oat milk this 2019 because it looks like they will be flying off the shelves still.

Oat Milk

8. MCT oil

Aside from CBD, 2018 brought MCT (medium chain triglycerides) oil into the spotlight. This oil is odorless and colorless and stays liquid at room temperature. Putting MCT oil into your coffee, making it “bulletproof” is a good way of boosting your energy. Expect to see MCT become even more popular in 2019 as more people become aware of its benefits.

9. Body Positivity

Thanks to Rihanna and her Fenty brand, body positivity moved from the fringes to mainstream. Body positivity saw a rise in popularity in 2018 as more and more people focus on loving their bodies instead of shrinking them to fit into the mold that society wanted them to look. As more people shift their focus to mental health, this 2019 will see an even bigger rise in the body positivity movement.

Body Positivity

10. Hemp based products

Aside from CBD oil, hemp based products have found their way into our lives from our beauty products, to our food. With the 2018 Farm Bill already signed into law, hemp based farming will be legal nationwide. Expect that in 2019, there will be more choices in hemp based products.

These are the hottest trends in 2019…which ones have you been paying attention to? Remember…

There Is Always Hope

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Writing this blog brings me a whole lot of satisfaction – I love knowing I’m reaching others, sharing information about Chronic Pain and Invisible Illness and helping others as they live their lives with Disabilities. I don’t expect much in return, so when my blog is recognized, it truly delights me. And that’s why I’m thrilled to say I’ve been awarded the Sunshine Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

So – what is the Sunshine Blogger Award?

The Sunshine Blogger Award is recognition given to bloggers by their fellow bloggers. The aim is to honour those of which bring inspiration and positivity to the world through their blog content.

Rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
  2. List the Sunshine Blogger Award Rules and display the logo on your site.
  3. Answer the Sunshine Blogger Award questions given by the person who nominated you.
  4. Nominate 10 other bloggers and ask them 10 new questions.
  5. Notify the nominees of their nomination.

Thank You

I want to extend my thanks to Davis at Everything Starts With Tea. She nominated me for this award and it totally came out of the blue. I was touched and flattered that she thought of me and liked my blog enough to consider it for this award. Thanks Davis…I appreciate it so much!

Questions

What has been your biggest achievement?

My biggest achievement in blogging has been being nominated for 3 WEGO Health Awards for this year (2019)

What is your motivation to blog?

I like knowing that my blog is reaching people who live with Chronic Illness and is helping them to find answers and affirmation that they are not alone. I work hard to bring information and humour to my posts – I want people to feel this is a solid resource when they have Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia or Invisible Illnesses.

What’s one thing you wish to accomplish before you die?

I would love to take a “Round the World” cruise before I die.

What’s your greatest dream in life?

There are two things – seeing my kids and grandkids have happy healthy lives and to find a cure for Fibromyalgia.

What’s your favourite book and why?

Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. It’s a hilarious account of her life with mental illness and is truly “laugh out loud” funny!

Pick any moment in life you feel has defined you the most and tell us, why do you feel that’s the case?

I think it’s when I was a single parent and had just started my first job. I went into a position as a receptionist where there were 12 incoming lines, and the computer system was completely different than what I had just been taught in the computer courses I’d been taking to prepare me for work. I knew at that moment I could either sink or swim and I chose to swim. I learned the new system in no time, mastered all those phone lines and discovered I LOVED doing administrative work – I was well suited for it. I thrived and never looked back.

If we were all colours, what colour would you be and why?

I would be pink! Pink is happy and light and cheerful and always makes you feel good. Even when it’s dark pink, it’s still pretty!

Tell me, what is one mistake you’ve made that you’ll never make again?

I will never marry again!!!  LOL…that’s because I finally got it right with my current husband…my second attempt.

If you had the ability to fix one of the world’s problems, which would you choose to fix?

I would choose to end world hunger. With a full belly, you can achieve so much, but when you’re starving, everything else is a huge challenge.

You’ve been given a genie lamp – what three wishes are you asking the genie to grant?

  1. Unlimited wealth
  2. Eliminate World Hunger
  3. Another lamp

Nominees

Cindy Lauderdale – Cindy Goes Beyond

Alice Henry Whitmore – LutheranLiar

Rebecca Moon Ruark – Rust Belt Girl

Marian Wood – Just Muddling Through Life

Esme Slabs – Esme Salon

John Rieber – John Rieber.com

Fancy Paper – Fancypaperblog

Peabody Amelia – You Can Always Start Now

Jpr Arv – Jaipur Thru My Lens

Taylor Kozak – Best Wishes, Taylor

 

My Questions

  1. What is your favourite movie and why?
  2. Where is the best place you’ve ever travelled to?
  3. Tell us about a life lesson you’ve learned
  4. What is the best advice you could give to an up and coming, new Blogger?
  5. What was your favourite class in High School and why?
  6. Why did you start blogging?
  7. Do you have a blogging goal?
  8. What is your favourite food?
  9. Is there a tradition from your heritage you’d like to share?
  10. What is your favourite holiday memory?

So there we go…the Sunshine Blogger Award! I hope you enjoyed reading through this and to those of you I’ve nominated, I hope you appreciate how much I care about you and your blog. Please accept the honour in the spirit it’s been given, but if for some reason you are unable to participate, don’t feel bad!!!  I know that some people prefer not to share in these awards and my feelings will NOT be hurt in any way if you choose to pass.

Share with your friends and feel free to nominate your own winners! Remember…

There Is Always Hope

May 12th Is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

May 12th is (1)

Fibromyalgia is a Chronic Pain disorder that affects millions of North Americans and others around the world. People who live with this condition experience widespread pain throughout their bodies, along with a host of other symptoms. Sufferers are diagnosed by the “tender points” they have developed over their body as per this illustration:

FibroSymptoms2

In recognition of May 12th, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, I wanted to share with you a post from the past. It’s titled An Attitude of Gratitude. I wanted to put a different spin on having Fibromyalgia because so often, we focus only on the negative side of illness. It’s natural when you’re chronically ill, but there are reasons to be grateful as well. Read on to see what I mean:

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Are you grateful for your life?  Are you grateful for the things you’ve been given? Are you grateful for Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue? What about your other Invisible Illnesses? For Fibromyalgia? I am, and let me explain why.

I have had my Invisible Illnesses for over half my life now, and they have been a predominant part of my life since 2004 when I went into a major flare that I’ve never recovered from. That was the year I had stomach surgery for severe Gastric Reflux disease – a procedure called a Nissen Fundoplication. The surgery itself was successful, but I suffered nerve damage in the sternum area from where an instrument being used was pressed too hard against a nerve for an extended period of time, causing it to be pinched for over an hour.

This caused me excruciating pain that didn’t resolve for almost a year and had me addicted to morphine pills to the point that I was hallucinating. In fact, at one point, the general surgeon called in a Thoracic surgeon, who was going to crack open my sternum to try and fix whatever the problem was – a drastic solution indeed.

I’m grateful this didn’t happen and the Thoracic surgeon had the sense to suggest a drug called Gabapentin for nerve damage which is what he suspected was the problem, and he was right.

I spent almost a year in a hunched over position, trying to “contain” the pain, it was so bad. I ended up having to go for physical therapy and massage in order to loosen up my muscles to where I could stand in a straightened up position again.

I’m grateful for the therapists that helped me.

I’m grateful there are medical teams in place when we need emergency surgery, such as when a cyst I didn’t even know I had on my ovary burst, causing me horrid pain. It needed immediate removal and there was a team to do that. Just like there was a team to remove my gallbladder and my other ovary when it went rogue as well.

And I’m grateful for my four doctors who have worked with me and my overall health issues over the last five years, Dr Leong, Dr Winston, Dr. Wilson and Dr Burnett, my orthopedic surgeon who did my hip replacement.

Okay, you say…it’s easy to be grateful to the people who help us, but how can you be grateful for having Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia and all the other stuff. Well, I’ll tell you.

When you have Invisible Illness, you tend to miss out on a lot of life. You may have to give up your job or volunteer activities, your hobbies and family life. You end up losing a lot more than you seem to have left. But what having a Chronic illness does is force you to dig deep to FIND what you’re grateful for. I made a list:

  • Sunrises and sunsets
  • Quiet mornings after a good sleep
  • A perfect cup of coffee
  • A day where the kids get along and no one is fighting
  • A day where the cat or dog doesn’t barf all over the place
  • Feeling energetic enough to accomplish a few things on the “to do” list
  • Feeling rested
  • Feeling less pain than normal
  • Being able to go for a coffee date with a girlfriend or two
  • Having dinner with your family together instead of needing to lay down
  • Date night with your spouse
  • Watching a movie together instead of early to bed
  • Having a bath or shower
  • Having enough food on the table and money in the bank
  • Laughter
  • A sense of safety and security
  • A roof over your head
  • Feeling loved
  • Having a close friend you can confide in
  • Books to read and art to admire
  • Social media like Facebook and Pinterest
  • Ice cream or a favourite treat
  • Family and friends to share memories with
  • Vacations

I could go on and on…the point is, there is so much to be grateful for, but when you live with Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue and Invisible Illness, it’s easy to get stuck wallowing in the negatives, to the point you forget to stop and remember to be grateful.

Take a moment now to list a few things that you’re grateful for and make it a habit each day to say thank you. An Attitude of Gratitude is easy to cultivate, but like a good garden, you need to tend to it every day.

Remember…

There is always hope!

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So, what are your thoughts? Were you surprised at how easy it can be to be grateful? It’s not hard to make a list like I did, and I highly recommend that people give it a try.  We live in a busy and scary world, and this is also a good way to take back a bit of control over the craziness. 

Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude and see how things change in your life. Even if you don’t make a list, there’s one thing you can count on…

There is always hope