I Want You To Want Me

I’m tackling a tough topic again today – intimacy when you live with Chronic Pain. If you remember the Cheap Trick song, it’s been on my mind lately:

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.
I’m beggin’ you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.

How do you enjoy an active and healthy love life when you’re in pain all the time. How do you appease your partner, who may not understand what it’s like to be in pain 24/7. Even when you’ve explained it a million different ways, when it comes to talking about sex, and how painful it can be, it’s not an easy conversation, no matter how long you’ve been a couple. And your sexual orientation makes no difference either.

Intimacy is the fuel that keeps a good relationship running. It encompasses so much more than just sex. Think about the different ways it’s defined in the Thesaurus:

  1. the state of being intimate.
  2. a close, familiar and unusually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
  3. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like, to allow the intimacy of using first names.
  4. an amorously familiar act; liberty.
  5. sexual intercourse.

Intimacy is also about being close emotionally. When was the last time you went on a date? When was the last time you actually sat and talked to each other ABOUT each other? Not about work or the kids, but about the two of you and how you’re doing. What’s new, what’s real, what you love about each other? When was the last time you looked into each other’s eyes and said “I love you” and really meant it?

If you haven’t dated for a while, maybe it’s time you did. Here are 25 easy date ideas that might get you started in the right direction:

  1. Go to a community play,
  2. Do an inside or outside picnic
  3. Work out together
  4. Go roller skating or ice-skating
  5. Movie marathon with ice cream sundaes
  6. Play hide and seek in a cornfield (or the woods)
  7. Go on a walk around your neighbourhood in the evening
  8. Go to estate sales together
  9. Make a romantic dinner at home
  10. Build something together
  11. Go bowling
  12. Go hiking!
  13. Find the best happy hours in town and make the appetizers your meal
  14. Have friends over and play board games
  15. Go to an antique store and talk about the past lives of old objects
  16. Get some thrift store tennis rackets and go to your city’s free courts
  17. Go to the neighbourhood pool
  18. Fly kites!
  19. Test drive an expensive car
  20. Go on a tour beer, food, etc.
  21. Find out what tours businesses in your city offer and try one out.
  22. Go thrifting or garage sale-ing together
  23. Do a breakfast date
  24. Find a free (or very cheap) class and take it together
  25. Go to the animal shelter and pet the animals

So once you’ve reconnected and you’re ready for sex again, the Mayo Clinic offers these suggestions when you have a partner who lives with Chronic Pain*

Sexual intercourse is just one way to satisfy your need for human closeness. Intimacy can be expressed in many different ways.

  • Touch. Exploring your partner’s body through touch is an exciting way to express your sexual feelings. This can include holding hands, cuddling, fondling, stroking, massaging and kissing. Touch in any form increases feelings of intimacy.
  • Self-stimulation. Masturbation is a normal and healthy way to fulfil your sexual needs. One partner may use masturbation during mutual sexual activity if the other partner is unable to be very active.
  • Oral sex. It can be an alternative or supplement to traditional intercourse.
  • Different positions. Lie side by side, kneel or sit. Look in your library or bookstore for a guide that describes and illustrates different ways to have intercourse. If you’re embarrassed to get this kind of book locally, try an online book retailer.
  • Vibrators and lubricants. A vibrator can add pleasure without physical exertion. If lack of natural lubrication is a problem, over-the-counter lubricants can prevent pain from vaginal dryness.
*https://www.mayoclinic.org/chronic-pain/art-20044369

The key factors to intimacy are trust, respect and honesty. You need to be able to trust your partner won’t push you into something you’re not physically able to do and will respect your limits. There needs to be honesty between the two of you and with yourselves as well. Don’t use your Chronic Pain as an excuse to get out of sex if it really isn’t a problem…that’s not fair to your partner. If you’re avoiding sex for another reason, then be honest. If you’re mad at your partner for something they’ve done, then say so. Tell them what and why and talk it out.

Don’t use your health to avoid other issues, because you’re simply breaking the trust and respect factors when you do that. You already have enough physical pain in your life – don’t add mental pain as well. Intimacy is too valuable a commodity to just throw away. Keep working on it and before you know it, you’ll be building and rebuilding the relationship of your dreams. And that’s no Cheap Trick!

There is always hope

 

 

 

Everybody’s Bill Of Rights

Welcome back!

Did you know that as a Patient, you have a Bill of Rights, afforded to you under your Government?  It’s true! There are certain obligations your government has committed to meeting when it comes to your health care and I decided it was a good time to share those with you, as well as to write-up a set of Rights that we have as Patients for our Doctors, Nurses and other Medical Professionals. Are you ready?

Canadian Patients’ Bill of Rights*:

  1. You have the right to be fully informed about one’s medical condition;
  2. You have the right to be advised of the available treatment options;
  3. You have the right to be involved in treatment decisions;
  4. You have the right to information on the qualifications and experience of the health professionals from whom services are received;
  5. You have the right to receive considerate, compassionate and respectful public health services;
  6. You have the right to confidential communications with health professionals;
  7. You have the right to have access to and copies of personal health records and to have them corrected, if necessary;
  8. You have the right to have health records kept confidential and not used for any purpose other than public health services without written consent;
  9. You have the right to designate a person to exercise rights on the patient’s behalf if the patient is not able to do so because of a physical or mental incapacity; and
  10. You have the right to be informed of all rights and responsibilities under the bill and under other laws of Canada or a province with respect to public health services.

American Patients’ Bill of Rights**:

  1. You have the right to receive accurate and easily understood information about your health plan, health care professionals, and health care facilities. If you speak another language, have a physical or mental disability, or just don’t understand something, assistance will be provided so you can make informed health care decisions.
  2. You have the right to a choice of health care providers that is sufficient to provide you with access to appropriate high-quality health care.
  3. If you have severe pain, an injury, or sudden illness that convinces you that your health is in serious jeopardy, you have the right to receive screening and stabilization emergency services whenever and wherever needed, without prior authorization or financial penalty.
  4. You have the right to know all your treatment options and to participate in decisions about your care. Parents, guardians, family members, or other individuals that you designate can represent you if you cannot make your own decisions.
  5. You have a right to considerate, respectful and non-discriminatory care from your doctors, health plan representatives, and other health care providers.
  6. You have the right to talk in confidence with health care providers and to have your health care information protected. You also have the right to review and copy your own medical record and request that your physician amend your record if it is not accurate, relevant, or complete.
  7. You have the right to a fair, fast, and objective review of any compliant you have against your health plan, doctors, hospitals or other health care personnel. This includes complaints about waiting times, operating hours, the conduct of health care personnel, and the adequacy of health care facilities.
* http://publications.gc.ca/collections/Collection-R/LoPBdP/BP/prb0131-e.htm#c.%20%20Patients%E2%80%99%20txt
** https://web.archive.org/web/20050301090705/http://www.consumer.gov/qualityhealth/rights.htm

I’ve not done the Rights for other countries as most of my traffic comes from North America, but I’m sure a simple Google search using your country and “Patient Bill of Rights” would turn up something similar. I think this is good information for all of us to have and it’s all very reasonable.

Now the list for us as Patients:

  1. You have the obligation to treat your doctor and other medical personnel with respect.
  2. Be organized when you go to see your doctor – know the questions you need to ask and understand your doctor is limited to one or two concerns at a time. If you have more than that to talk about, book a double appointment. Don’t be an “oh, by the way” Patient.
  3. If you need refills of your prescriptions, let the office know when you’re making your appointment. This way, they can schedule that into the time you spend with the Doctor.
  4. Bring along a family member or trusted friend to help translate for you if English is not your first language. Don’t let translation issues cause your appointment to run overtime. The same goes for the hearing impaired – bring a sign language interpreter with you if needed.
  5. Find out what the policy is for missed or cancelled appointments with your doctor. Most cancellations given within 24 hours are fine, but if you need to cancel with short notice, you may have to pay for the full cost of the appointment. Every office varies, so know in advance what your obligations are.
  6. Be honest. Tell your doctor if you’re using recreational drugs – it can make a difference in regards to the prescriptions they need to write or tests they need to run.
  7. Speak up if you don’t understand something the doctor says. You have a right to clear and concise information so if you’re not sure of what the doctor is saying, ask for clarification. There’s no sense going home and then having to call the doctor’s office to ask what he meant. Your time in the office is your chance to have everything explained properly. If you feel your doctor is being dismissive of your symptoms, you have the right to ask for a second opinion.

What do you think of the Patient list? Is there anything you think is wrong? Is there anything missing that should be added? Tell me in the comments below.

Remember, we have as much of an obligation to be good Patients as our Doctors and Nurses et al do to be good practitioners of medicine. It’s a two-way street and only by working together will we be able to form a Patient Centred Care Team where those practitioners are working with us in partnership for our best health.

There is always hope.

 

Wishing While I (Don’t) Work

It’s Monday, and I wish I was at work.

Now a lot of you are probably thinking I’m crazy, and I am. While you’re getting up early in the morning to face the rush hour commute to go to a job you may not even enjoy, I could still be snuggled in my bed, fast asleep without a care in the world, right? Well, that’s the scenario you probably have in your head, but it’s far from the truth. As a Person with Chronic Pain (PwCP), I’ve probably been awake half the night because pain wouldn’t let me sleep; every muscle feels like concrete and every joint feels like someone has twisted it, put it into a machining vise and then clamped it three times tighter than necessary.

My brain hurts too…I want to be going to work with you. I loved my job prior to going on Long Term Disability (LTD) and the jobs I held before that. I was an Administrative Specialist at several different companies, mostly supporting Retail Operations and the people who managed the work; Directors, District Managers and Store Managers. In the past, I’ve worked for Rogers and Bell and my last company was The Forzani Group, now known as FGL Sports.  I supported the group that ran the former Sport Mart stores (now closed), but am still considered an employee of FGL Sports while on LTD.  I receive an employee discount and recently celebrated 10 years with the company.

I worked with an amazing group of people. I loved going into my job every day, knowing it was going to be challenging and fun and never knowing exactly what the day might bring. I organized team training events for Store Managers, travel and training for the District Managers, travel for the Regional Manager Rob Hillier and kept the Director, John Hould on track for his daily activities.

Then came the days when work started to become difficult. Too difficult. I had been doing all of this under the radar of Invisible Illness, which none of them knew about but it was starting to become an issue. Things that used to come easily to me became a struggle. I was famous for remembering things without needing a list and suddenly I was carrying notebooks with me because the Brain Fog was so bad. I would stop conversations in the middle of speaking because I forgot what I was saying. My pain levels were getting higher and higher but I refused to use a cane at work for my bad hip to ease the pain as I didn’t want to be perceived as being weak or incapable of being effective (this was prior to my right hip replacement). I couldn’t concentrate during meetings and even typing became a challenge – it still is to this day.

Once all the Sport Mart stores were closed, there wasn’t really a job for me any  longer, so the HR department encouraged me to go on Short Term Disability while I figured out my health issues. Short term became Long Term, and I never went back. My last day of work was in October of 2009. I started with the company in February of 2008. That’s right…I’ve been on Disability with FGL Sports for over four times longer than I worked for them. It was distressing for me to have to leave, because I loved the work and I was very good at what I did. My identity was wrapped up in my work and had been since I first started my career in 1991. When I found myself at home on leave, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I slept a lot in the beginning which was healing, but after that, I didn’t know what to do. I felt invisible, as I’ve discussed on this blog before. And being invisible can be a very painful thing. People accused me of not wanting to work, that this was an extended vacation for me, and that was really hurtful. If they could see inside me, they would know how very much I wanted to be back at my desk, with meaningful work to do. The mistake I made is that I didn’t go around complaining about my health at work, so no one knew how badly I was hurting except for a couple of select people in HR, plus my bosses John and Rob. 

I’ve asked my friend Tori Martin if I could share a quote here that she recently posted on Facebook and she graciously gave me her permission. This is what she said:

“STOP suggesting that people with disabilities of ANY kind just aren’t trying hard enough.

There are VERY few people who don’t want to work and contribute in a meaningful way according to society standards. Additionally, being able to work is NOT the ultimate measure of a person’s worth. Frankly, I am much more impressed at how a person treats others than what kind of work they do.I myself am unable to work due to physical limitations and it drives me crazy sometimes. Guess what though, I still have an incredible amount to give! I contribute to society through my photography, through having a huge heart that shows so much love and concern of others, through helping others, through occasional teaching of archery which helps many find confidence and enjoyment in physical activity. I contribute by paying taxes, voting, getting involved in local groups and causes and supporting local businesses. I am NOT a waste of space. And not that it’s anyone’s business, but I worked from the age of 10 until I was 39 and was literally bed-ridden for 2 years. My dr’s have been trying to help find ways of giving me back quality of life and things are so much better than those first two years, but nowhere near where they need to be to hold down even a part-time job. Telling people with mental or physical disabilities they have no worth if they can’t work is b*llshit and needs to stop. I am disgusted to have to say this after reading comments on a friend’s post. Apparently compassion and empathy is something that some folks just don’t have.”

 I think Tori really nails it with that comment. She lives with Rheumatoid Arthritis that really affects her hands and I know for a fact that she would love to be working if it were possible. Her friend John Hewak responded with this reply to her post: 

 “What makes it worse is that we feel the need to justify ourselves, due to both real and perceived judgement from others. People say things like “must be nice”, or “how can I get that?” Well first get f*cking sick, really sick, lose almost everything, navigate the tortuous and torturous health system, marshal up a posse of docs, specialist, therapists etc who validate you, get a lawyer, get on welfare, go through the painful application procedure and wait months to hear back while you sink into poverty. Most applicants are rejected first time . Repeat and rinse. If the institutional, bureaucratic, legal, and medical stars align, you might be accepted, in which case you get $1,000 to live on monthly., while you struggle with pain and alienation on a daily basis. Try that for a while. Wow, it’s so great not to work! Living the life of Riley.”

And finally, a third friend named John Poulson replied:

“I have found that people who give the most are the ones who have experienced hardship the most. People who have never experienced hardships have absolutely no idea or clue of what life really all about. It’s not about “things” but the experience you lend or give to others. Having compassion and showing that there are people out in the world that do care. Live; love; laugh. It’s the tears that makes one appreciate the good things in life. That’s my motto. ❤️❤️

It’s hard to be at home when you’d rather be out earning a living. Everyone thinks we have it so great, but when you’re housebound and feeling like crap, there’s nothing fun about it at all. We tend to be forgotten by our friends and sometimes our family members as well. We don’t get to go out and do “fun” things whenever we want – our time is generally taken up with Doctor appointments or physiotherapy treatments, etc. anyway.

So, to wrap this up, don’t forget your friend or family member who lives with Chronic Pain from Invisible Illness. Call them, ask to stop by for a visit, or to take them out of the house for a bit, whether it’s for lunch, or just a drive. They will let you know what they’re up for and how much energy they have. Even if they say no and they’d rather stay home, just keep in touch. That’s all we’re asking for. And don’t assume we’re being lazy. Trust me…most of us would rather be working if it were possible. 

At least I would. 

Remember…there is always hope. 

Chronic Pain Comforts

Welcome back!

When you live with Chronic Pain, whether it’s from Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Migraines or any other Invisible Illness, you want to find as many ways to be as comfortable as possible. You may or may not be taking pain medications, so sometimes the things on this list are the only things you rely on to get relief. You can find lists like these all over the internet, but I’m going to share my favourite ideas here. I won’t give you product names as there are far too many to mention and everyone has their favourite brands. I don’t tend to use all of these products myself, but many people do. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, don’t worry about it…move on and try something else.

Some of these things are for use at home, some are for taking with you when you’re out and some can be used in both locations. I like to have doubles of things such as Wet Wipes. They’re refreshing on the go or at home when bathing is a challenge and you need a quick clean up.

In no particular order:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heating Pad: Many people find using a source of heat to be extremely comforting. Just remember to take safety precautions with your skin, and never use a deep heating rub with a heating pad at the same time, or you’re asking to be burned.

Ice Packs: In much the same way as using heat, ice packs can be a lifesaver for pain. Some people with chronic pain use both at the same time…heat in one area and ice in another. Experiment with what works for you.

Eye Mask: When you’re having trouble sleeping, this can be quite soothing, especially if you prefer to sleep in complete darkness. It’s also helpful for Fibro induced migraines.

Ear Plugs: Again, super helpful to block out distractions to help you sleep better and to aid when Fibro migraines strike.

Epsom Salts: Soaking in a hot Epsom Salt bath is one of the best things you can do to soothe aching joints and muscles. There has been an explosion in Flotation Therapy lately in cities all over North America. People spend up to 90 minutes at a time in skin temperature Epsom Salt flotation therapy tanks, literally soaking up the benefits of this mineral. The ratio of Epsom salt to water in most tanks is such that many are more buoyant than the Dead Sea!

Magnesium Rub or Gel: Another essential mineral needed by the body, most of us are deficient. Using a good rub or gel can help alleviate pain. Ask your doctor if a supplement of Magnesium is right for you as well.

Pillows: Pillows for sleeping, pillows for propping, pillows for wedging, body pillows…wherever you need some extra support, finding the right pillow can be crucial to your comfort. Firm, medium or soft; feather or foam, whatever your preference is, you’re going for comfort, so let your body be the guide here.

Shower chair: If bathing is uncomfortable for you, but showing tires you out, consider getting a shower chair. They come in many sizes and shapes and can be found in lightweight, portable designs.

Kindle or e-reader: Take your entertainment with you or leave it at home, but always have your favourite books at your fingertips with an e-reader. There are many services that let you download books for free including your local library.

Body Lotion: Your favourite scent can help keep you smiling.

Magic bag/wheat pillow: These are the type of bag you can either microwave or freeze and use for spots on your body for various aches and pains

Scented candle: Some people find having scented candles burning helps them to relax. Try different scents according to the seasons or just choose your favourites.

Mints or Gum: If you tend towards having a dry mouth, you might want to keep mints or gum handy, or hard candies to suck on. I personally like Tic Tacs as they are small, come in lots of assorted flavours and are easy to pack in even the smallest of purses.

Colouring book: Currently one of the fastest growing trends to help relax you, there is an endless array of styles and designs to choose from. I have several on the go at any time, and use both pencil crayons and felt markers to colour mine. Jenny Lawson’s last book is part story/part colouring epic.

Herbal Tea: Even if you’re not normally a tea drinker, a good herbal tea at night (decaffeinated of course) can be a wonderful way to unwind before falling asleep. Many delicious flavours are there to choose from; I personally like fruity flavours the best.

Water to stay hydrated: Whether you use a water bottle or fancy decanter, having cold fresh water is essential in maintaining optimal good health for any condition. Make sure you keep it fresh by changing drinking the contents often.

Chocolate: Definitely an indulgence but if you’re not a fan of chocolate, at least keep a favourite snack nearby as a treat.

Fan: A small portable fan or a hand fan can help if you have trouble regulating your body temperature.

TENS Machine: Many people swear that using a TENS Machine helps with pain. I personally haven’t found relief with one, but everyone is different. Find out if you can rent one through a Medical Supply Store first before buying a unit, so you know if it will help you or not.

Portable Cane: A foldable cane can be super handy for around the house or outside if you find that sometimes you’re unsteady on your feet. They come in various colours and patterns so you won’t be stuck with “just” basic black if you want something to stand out with.

Essential Oils: These oils have long been thought to have medicinal purposes and many people swear by their properties. There are several good companies that market these and many more little independent companies to check out. Some carry a full range of products designed to use as a set and some carry individual offerings. Find what works for you.

Wet Wipes: The portable bath! When you need to freshen up but you’re just not feeling well enough for a proper bath or shower, wet wipes are the miracle bath.

Dry Shampoo: Like the above, dry shampoo is a spray/shake in, brush out helper for clean fresh hair without having to go through the full and proper wash and dry.

Favourite Pet or Stuffie: Everyone needs someone to cuddle!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there you have it, my list of essential comfort items when you need a little pick me up. Are there things you can think of that you would use? Share them in the comments so we can add them to our own lists.

Thanks for reading and remember…

there is always hope

 

 

Conditionally Speaking…

Welcome back!

I’ve talked specifically about a few of the conditions I live with, but I thought today I’d give you an overview of the 13 different health issues that make up who I am. Some are serious, some are just an inconvenience, but all of them are a part of me. Here’s the list:

  • Chronic Pain
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Fibromyalgia / Myofascial Pain
  • Osteoarthritis (in all my major joints)
  • Forestier’s Disease (aka D.I.S.H.)
  • Type 2 Diabetes (on insulin)
  • Trigeminal Neuralgia
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Gastroparesis
  • Internal Adhesions/Scar Tissue/Chronic Pelvic Pain
  • High Cholesterol
  • Brachydactyly Type E
  • Raynaud’s Disease
  • Hypothyroidism
  • Vulvar Intraepithelial Neoplasia 3 (VIN 3) – now healed

So I’ve talked about my Chronic Pain from Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, and when I say I have arthritis in all my major joints, I’m serious. I have it in my shoulders, elbows, wrists and fingers, my cervical, thoracic and lumbar spine, left hip (right hip has been replaced), knees, ankles and toes. Some areas like my left hip and right knee are quite serious and will need replacing, but the rest I’ll have to live with. Meanwhile, my thoracic spine has a different type of bone condition called Forestier’s Disease or D.I.S.H., which stands for Diffuse (Widespread) Idiopathic (Of Unknown Cause) Skeletal (Referring to the Skeleton) Hyperostosis (Excessive Growth of Bone). It forms in the shape of a bone spur, but instead of a normal spur that could be removed, it looks more like melted candle wax on the spine, so nothing can be done about it. I also have regular bone spurs on my right hand – I had one removed from inside my pointer finger as it grew through a tendon, and there is a second one on the outside of my middle finger growing through the knuckle. Both have been very painful and interfere(d) with typing and writing. Of course, I have weird fingers anyway…which leads to another thing on my list.

Brachydactyly.  Pronounced Brackee Dack Til ee, there are several types of this disorder and I have Type E.  It’s described as such, from Wikipedia:

Brachydactyly (Greek βραχύς = “short” plus δάκτυλος = “finger”), is a medical term which literally means “shortness of the fingers and toes” (digits). The shortness is relative to the length of other long bones and other parts of the body. Brachydactyly is an inherited, usually dominant trait. It most often occurs as an isolated dysmelia, but can also occur with other anomalies as part of many congenital syndromes.

Brachydactyly.svg

I was born missing the bone as shown in Type E, but it wasn’t apparent until I was about 5 or 6 years old and the ring fingers on both hands stopped “growing”. Each one is about a half inch longer than my pinkie, and that’s it. When I make a fist, there is no knuckle formation either.  You can see the flatness in the photo beside my hand.

PamFingers2  PamKnuckles

People always think my ring finger is swollen, but it’s actually the extra skin that would have covered the finger if it had grown to full length. My feet are the same way as well:

PamToes1

I can’t actually bend any of my toes individually – if I try to bend them, they all bend at the same time.  The second and third toe are mildly webbed on each foot and then you can see how severely affected the “ring toe” is affected. That’s because of the missing bone in the foot, just like the ring finger. The pinkie toe is basically normal. Each foot is the same.

Now because this is a genetic condition, I was quite interested to see if my kids or grandkids would have the same thing, but no…I’m the only one who has presented with it. I was adopted at birth and always wondered if anyone in my birth family had it too. I was able to find my birth mom approximately 15 years ago, and again, I am the only one on her side of the family with this condition. She doesn’t know about my birth Father’s side, but I believe I may have tracked down a family member for him and I’m just waiting to see if she contacts me. His name is Arvay Bernath and he was born and raised in Nanoose Bay, BC on Vancouver Island. He dated my mom Bonnie Rebecca Anderson from Parksville, BC on the Island and they were engaged when she became pregnant with me. Her dad didn’t approve and so they broke up and I was put up for adoption. Arvay appears to have passed away in 1997, but from information, I found on MyHeritage.com there is a relative named Lily Bernath who started a search page. I left her my contact info, but she hadn’t been on the page since 2017, so who knows if she’ll get my info or not. At any rate, he or his family may or may not have Brachydactyly too, or I could just be an anomaly.

So, what else is on that list. Ah yes, the ever lovely Gastroparesis, which means (again according to Wikipedia):

Gastroparesis (GP also called delayed gastric emptying) is a medical condition consisting of a paresis (partial paralysis) of the stomach, resulting in food remaining in the stomach for an abnormally long time. Normally, the stomach contracts to move food down into the small intestine for additional digestion. The vagus nerve controls these contractions. Gastroparesis may occur when the vagus nerve is damaged and the muscles of the stomach and intestines do not properly function. Food then moves slowly or stops moving through the digestive tract.

Now, the way they determine if you have this or not is through something called a motility test. In my case, they wanted me off ALL of my meds first to make sure they weren’t contributing to the problem, so for 2 days prior to my test I had to quit my medications cold turkey. That included my meds for Fibromyalgia, my anti-psychotics AND my opioid narcotic for pain. Do you have any idea what going through withdrawal is like? It was horrendous. I had the shakes, the runs, I couldn’t eat or sleep, and for those 2 days, I alternated between thinking I was dying and wanting to die.

On the day of the test, I went to the hospital to where the Nuclear testing is done. I knew that I was going to be eating an egg sandwich with a radioactive tracer in it and that tracer would be monitored through a series of special x-rays, but I explained to the nurse that everything I ate was immediately running right through me like water. She was so sweet…she “reserved” me a private bathroom, brought me my sandwich and told me to eat as much as I could while I sat there. Talk about embarrassing!!! It’s embarrassing writing about it!!! But, I managed just over 3/4’s of it, which she said was enough. She brought me into the x-ray room where there was a gurney to lay on, and then gave me a warm blanket. The first pictures were taken every 2 minutes, so I just sat. Then they took them every 5 minutes apart, then 10 minutes apart, then 15, then 30 and finally 2 pictures 1 hour apart each. In between, I slept on the gurney, and my nurse brought me as many warm blankets as I wanted. She also brought me a cold wet face cloth for my forehead. When it was all over, I gave her a big hug and thanked her for being so kind. Then I took my medications asap!!!!

The tests showed that I have a moderate degree of low motility so my food sits in my stomach for a long period of time before moving on to the intestines. This explains why I always look bloated and pregnant. There are medications that can be taken, but I’ve asked Dr. Leong if we can just hold off and wait on that for now. This is more of an inconvenience than anything right now, and I just don’t want any more drugs in my system than I absolutely need. If the problem becomes hugely bothersome, we’ll revisit it, but in the meantime, I’ll just try to watch what I eat, drink more water and try and exercise a bit more.

Which leads to Hypothyroidism. For a long time, I assumed that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was the only reason for my constant exhaustion, as my Thyroid numbers always came back normal on blood tests done every three months. One day though, my thyroid went rogue and those numbers were crazy. I had been especially tired…like dragging my ass tired, needed toothpicks to keep my eyes open tired

DraggingMyButt

Oohhh, that is NOT a good look on me!!! Dr. Leong put me on meds and I could feel a difference in a very short period of time. On my next 3 month course of blood work, everything was back to normal, so now I take Synthroid on a daily basis for the rest of my life, to ensure I have a properly working system. So glad that was an easy fix!!

The other few things on the list are all fairly minor. I have had a number of pelvic surgeries over the years, so there is a lot of internal scar tissue left over that has attached itself to things like my bladder and bowel, etc. There are occasions when I move a certain way, and those adhesions stretch very painfully – it feels like velcro being ripped apart except it’s my body doing the ripping. It takes my breath away sometimes, it’s so painful, but it only lasts for a minute or two, then it’s gone. The High Cholesterol is managed easily with medication (too much ice cream!). The Reynauds is something that happens when my fingers and toes are exposed to the cold…they go bone white and lose sensation, so I have to be careful when getting things from the freezer or being in cooler windy weather, etc.

And finally, the Vulvar Intraepithelial Neoplasia 3 (VIN 3) which is now healed…well, we talked about that in the post entitled I’ve Got The Lady Garden Blues. 

So there you have it. Thirteen separate conditions with one healed and Chronic Pain is a part of 7 of them. It’s a tough road to walk, I have to be honest. I live with pain 24/7 and have for almost 30 years now. I’m going to do a separate blog post about my Fibromyalgia because that’s been my predominant pain for so many years, but suffice to say that you have to be mighty strong to live like this, to get through the day to day of actually living in pain. I know some people who just couldn’t. They tried so, so hard, but in the end, their pain was too much for them, and they took their own lives.

I’m a huge advocate for assisted suicide for people who live with severe, unretractable pain. We take better care of our pets when they are hurting than we do our humans, and I think that is just plain wrong. I believe every human has the right to choose to die with dignity and I wish our Government would get on board with this. I know things are happening, and we’re getting closer, but it’s not well within reach for everyone.

Thanks for indulging me and letting me share more about me with you. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them here. And remember…

There is always hope!

Furiously Happy – A Tribute

I’m doing a tribute today to an amazing woman named Jenny Lawson. You may have heard of her. She’s an incredible writer and the author of the books “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, “Furiously Happy” & “You Are Here”.

 

She writes about her own struggles with depression and man, can she write!!! Her sense of humour is incredibly warped and twisted (just the way I like it), she blogs as The Bloggess (thebloggess.com) and there are several Facebook fan groups as well, one of which I belong to. We are her Tribe. We get her. We understand what she goes through and experiences, and even if some of us don’t live with depression, most of us know someone who does. For me, it’s my husband.

I wrote this piece one day when I was feeling overwhelmingly happy that I had found this particular Tribe to call my own. Here goes:

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I live with several health issues that leave me in constant chronic pain: Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis in all my major joints, Myofascial Pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Forestier’s Disease, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Diabetes Type 2 (on insulin) and Bipolar Disorder. I had Total Hip Replacement on Feb. 7/17 (with my left hip needing to be done as well and possible knee surgery on my right knee later on) and am having a good recovery. I am still in pain, and always will be.

I used to think that my “furiously happy” would come when I no longer lived in pain. Its only been in the last year or so that I’ve come to realize that will never happen. I will NEVER be without pain…that’s just the nature of my body. And when I realized that there would always be the pain, I thought at first “then I will never truly be happy”. I have an amazing husband, whom I love beyond measure. I have 2 grown up kids that I still worry about and three grandsons that I never get to see because of distance. We keep in touch though with social media, and that’s a good thing, but it’s far from being furiously happy.

Because of my health, I had to give up a career that I adored…Admin Support at the Executive level as well as being a Certified Event Planner. I loved my job with every fibre of my being, but came to a point where I physically couldn’t manage it any longer, and with my chronic fatigue, would never be able to manage again. Everything in my life seemed to be about loss…losing a job, losing my hobbies, losing professional relationships, losing friendships, losing mobility, losing at life.

Hubby and I decided in 2013 to make a move to Vancouver Island from Calgary after the weather in Calgary became too much for my body to handle…too cold, too much snow, too long of winters, too icy…too, too, too. We moved here without a job for Ray or even knowing what our apartment looked like – we rented it sight unseen. Slowly, we started making Victoria our home – walking by the ocean, going for coffee or dinner at various places. I soon realized how much I loved it here, even though there were really no friends to share it with (two couples and one girlfriend and that was all that I knew – and even then we rarely saw each other).

One day, I found the Jenny Lawson book Furiously Happy. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I gave the book to Hubby to read and HE has never laughed so much…and he’s not one to show much emotion ever, good or bad. But he laughed and often. From there, I found her website and her other book and then all of sudden, there was THIS group. People like me. People who were struggling and depressed and suffering mentally and physically and I thought to myself “God, thank you for bringing me home”. Because I realized quickly that I seemed to be good at encouraging other people in their struggles, so I didn’t have to think about mine. I could offer advice or words of comfort, or just the right kitten picture and something would change for the good in that other life. And MY life felt better because of it.

And then I knew, the way that I became Furiously Happy was by being myself and sharing my life with those of you here who needed what I had to offer…a shoulder to cry on, a hug, some understanding, appreciation…whatever you want to call it. I became Furiously Happy because OF Furiously Happy. And now I have my Hubby and my family and my friends and my volunteering AND MY TRIBE!!

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Now, the reason I’m giving a shout out to Jenny today is that she has been undergoing a new treatment for her depression called Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS).  It’s described like this: (TMS) is a noninvasive procedure that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. TMS is typically used when other depression treatments haven’t been effective.

Jenny started treatment 2 weeks ago…and people…IT’S WORKING!!!!!

I want you to go to her blog and read all about it. If you know anyone who is experiencing major depression in their lives and no other treatment has worked, then this MIGHT be an answer for them too. I admire this woman so much, and I’m so delighted that this is working for her, I simply had to share. Please go check it out, buy her books (you will laugh, trust me) and find your tribe if you haven’t already.

If you live with Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, or Invisible Illness of any kind, you can’t go through it alone. You need to find a support group. If you look me up on Facebook, I can introduce you to the Fibro group I belong to. We support everyone who is in pain. And if you’re a fan of Jenny Lawson and want to join the group on Facebook I belong to, use the contact page on the blog here, and let me know. And remember…

there is always hope

Staying Connected…

Here’s a quick question for you. When you are a patient in the hospital, what do you do for entertainment? Do you watch TV? Read a book or magazine? Surf the internet or check out Facebook? Go for walks or check out the Gift Shop? Or are you mos….woah, woah, WHAT????

GO BACK…surf the internet? Check out Facebook? Don’t you use up a lot of your Data that way? Or does your hospital provide free Wifi?

I was recently invited to be interviewed for a news article about the Nanaimo Regional General Hospital, as it’s the first hospital in BC to offer free Wifi for patients and visitors. Now, we’re not talking blazing fast for video downloads, but good basic Wifi for surfing the Internet while you are in the hospital. I don’t know if this is offered where you live, but it’s brand new for us. There is one other BC hospital trialing this, and the BC Ministry of Health hopes to roll the program out to the rest of the province, though there is no set timeline.

I can tell you from my own experience that this is a very welcome move. I’m not a TV watcher (I don’t even watch at home) and I often don’t feel like reading. So what’s left? I listen to music a lot, but when you hallucinate music, that’s not always the first choice either. Having the chance to message chat with a friend or to be on Facebook or Twitter really appeals to me and I think this will be a very popular decision.

Here is the transcript and sound bytes from the interview:

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Patients and visitors to Nanaimo Hospital can breathe easier knowing they won’t have to worry about racking up high cell phone bills.

Island Health announcing today they’re introducing free wi-fi at the hospital.

Patient partner Pamela Jessen says when it comes to Data usage, it removes a heavy burden from people already in a stressful situation…

Island Health says they hope to expand free Wi-Fi to more of their sites, but there’s no timeline yet in place.

Free Wi-Fi at Nanaimo Regional General Hospital means patients won’t have to feel isolated and disconnected.

Island Health announced the service today, saying the Wi-Fi will be for keeping in touch and using the internet but won’t be able to handle high-def video streaming.

Pamela Jessen with the Patient Voices Network says it removes a great burden from patients but also their visitors…

The service is expected to cost roughly five thousand dollars a year.

It’s paid for by the Nanaimo Hospital Auxiliary, who raise funds for the hospital.

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What about you? Your thoughts in the comments would be appreciated!

As for this idea spreading far and wide?

There is always hope!