Interview October – Jamie Pirtle

It’s time to meet my next guest, the lovely Jamie Pirtle. Enjoy her story!

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…


I was born blind in one eye and with a condition called nystagmus, where my eyes continually move.  The doctors are not sure why, but have suspicions that it could be because my mom smoked and had mono while pregnant.  

I grew up in the south eating meat, potatoes, gravy and biscuits almost every meal. My way of eating was pretty much carbs, carbs and more carbs. A meal without a potato was pretty much a sin.

As a teen, I started to eat junk food, including diet coke and snickers for lunch and the diagnoses started coming in during my late 20’s. 

Conditions you have been diagnosed with:

  • Mitral Valve Prolapse
  • High Cholesterol
  • Arthritis (in remission)
  • IBS 
  • Lupus (in remission)
  • Ankylosing spondylitis (in remission)
  • Endometriosis (had hysterectomy)
  • Thyroid cancer (removed and now take meds)

I can remember staying in the bed all day one Mother’s Day crying because I couldn’t play with my 2-year-old daughter or go see my mom.  The pain and unpredictable bowel movements were just too much.  

I didn’t get to take vacation from work because I used all my time off going to specialist and staying home sick.

I can’t wait to hear about YOUR progress!

At about age 49, I started following a health coach on Facebook and listening to him talk about how what we eat results in autoimmune diseases.  This coupled with returning from a cruise so sick I missed another week of work, I decided I had to do something 

I first went gluten free and started eliminating junk food and diet cokes. Next, I cut out all aspartame, high fructose corn syrup and most fried foods. This helped, but there was still something missing. 

Then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. When you hear these dreaded words, your world stops.  I remember sitting in the parking lot of the doctor’s office talking to my husband on the phone and saying, I have to figure out what is causing this. 

I started studying everything I could get my hands on and decided the only way to go was to eat whole, mostly organic foods. I also cut out as many carbs as I could and cut way back on sugar. 

After improving my lifestyle, I feel SO much better in my 50’s than I ever did in my 30’s and 40’s. I went from taking 9, yes NINE daily prescriptions to just ONE (my necessary thyroid medicine) and eliminated the pain associated with several autoimmune diseases.

One fascinating fact about me is:

I went back to school at age 53 and became a certified health coach so I can help others get healthy and not have to live in pain like I did.  I also beat cancer and plan to stay cancer free! 

My symptoms/condition began…

In my late 20’s. (born with the eyes) 

My diagnosis process was… 

Long and tedious. The doctors just kept telling me I was too stressed at work and I needed to learn to relax. I also knew something was wrong with my thyroid and it took almost 2 years for doctors to finally find the cancer after I insisted on a sonogram and biopsy. 

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

People think I am ignoring them when I cannot see them out of my bad eye or they think I’m drunk or high as my eyes move. When I was in school the teachers thought I was day dreaming because it was easier for me to focus on them by turning my head and creating a null point that made my eyes stop moving. It is also hard to do fun activities like bowling due to some joint pain from time to time. 

A typical day for me involves…

Eating healthy and making sure I drink lots of water, take my supplements, use essential oils and remember the food makes a HUGE difference in how I feel. I work a demanding manager job with a large aero defense company and have a side gig as a heath coach and blogger. 

The one thing I cannot live without is…

My glasses for sure!  But also, healthy foods and supplements – I take lots of supplements. 

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

That life is precious and we really are what we eat.  I have also learned not to push myself and to try to destress as much as possible. 

My support system is…

My husband, family and friends.  I have also found joy now in my health coaching clients.  It is such a great feeling to see them losing weight and regaining energy. 

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

Go watch a 3D movie! They don’t work for me with my bad eyes.  

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

It has made me strong and made me a lifelong learner.  I can no longer rely on others to make medical decisions for me and research everything a doctor tells me. 

One final thing I want people to know is:

Food is a HUGE factor in your health and how you feel. Unfortunately, many doctors want to give you a pill and not educate you on the importance of good nutrition. 

My links are: 

Healthywithjamie.com

https://m.facebook.com/healthywithjamie/

https://www.instagram.com/healthywithjamie1/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2109386845847472/?ref=share

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamiehyatt1

Free recipe book with 23 gluten free and Keto friendly healthy recipes: 

https://healthywithjamie.com/free-recipe-book/#

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Interview October – Jenny Jones

I’m delighted to introduce my next guest to you. This is Jenny Jones and here is her story:

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

I’m Jenny and I share my story of rare disease and chronic illness on my blog Life’s a Polyp. I have a Master’s in Social Work and provide behavioural health services to dialysis patients. 

One fascinating fact about me is:

 I started a research fund through National Organization for Rare Disorders (NORD) for the rare disease of Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP). Life’s a Polyp shop has several designs across a variety of merchandise that helps to raise awareness of rare disease but also supports the FAP Research Fund through NORD.

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

I have two rare diseases – Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP) and Short Bowel Syndrome (SBS). FAP is a hereditary, rare disease that causes 100s to 1000s of pre-cancerous polyps to develop in the colon as well as extracolonic manifestations. SBS results when too much of the colon and even the small intestine is damaged or removed resulting in malabsorption of nutrients and fluids that is often complicated by severe diarrhea and dehydration.

My symptoms/condition began…

FAP is a genetic disease that I was born with but I also developed Short Bowel Syndrome due to my colon and part of my small intestine being removed as part of my treatment for FAP.

My diagnosis process was… 

I was diagnosed when I was about 8 years old after having stomach pain from a pre-ulcerous condition which led my GI doctor to complete genetic testing due to my family history of FAP. It was difficult to obtain a referral to a GI doctor as my PCP told my parents I was “just a whiny child” and nothing was wrong with me.

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

Never knowing what the day will be like or what the future will be. Working to be able to support myself is my primary goal in life and the best physical health years of my life are behind me now. I am terrified of the day that I will no longer be able to work and support myself. 

A typical day for me involves…

I work full time – 5 days a week but after work and on the weekends I require a lot of resting time to recuperate from the work week so that I may work the next week. Sometimes I enjoy outings with friends and family but I have to balance all of my activities with rest periods in order to continue functioning.

The one thing I cannot live without is…

My parents – they are my foundation and support in life. They help keep me going while providing assistance as needed to care for myself. I would be lost without them. 

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

 The importance of taking physical and emotional care of myself and advocating for myself so that I may continue to maintain optimal functioning ability.

My support system is…

My parents and a few select friends make up my support system. I also receive encouragement from online groups for FAP and SBS.

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

Probably spend the day engaging in all the activities I typically am unable to complete or am leery about completing due to my SBS symptoms.

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

Chronic illness teaches us perseverance and empathy – both qualities that are important in caring for ourselves and understanding others.

One final thing I want people to know is: 

Chronic illness is hard to live with – both physically and psychologically. Counseling can be a key component of learning to accept and cope with chronic illness in a healthy way. It is also essential to be proactive in one’s care to ensure the best treatment possible from all medical providers.

My links are:

www.LifesaPolyp.BlogSpot.com

www.Youtube.com/LifesaPolyp

www.cafepress.com/lifesapolyp

www.facebook.com/lifesapolyp

www.twitter.com/lifesapolyp

www.instagram.com/lifesapolyp

www.pinterest.com/lifesapolyp

Interview October – Sam Moss

My next guest is the amazing Sam Moss from Australia. She has a fascinating story so I hope you enjoy reading about her!

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

Hi, I’m Sam and I live with my beautiful husband in Australia. I have been living with a series of complex medical conditions for over 9 years now. In 2014 my health deteriorated to the point of needing to medically retire. 

I had lived life in the fast lane for 30 years with a successful management career in financial services. Prior to medically retiring I was an Executive Manager in the Financial Services Industry. A career I loved as it predominately involved coaching and developing a Leadership team. 

I also enjoyed various change management consultancy roles for not for profit organisations. I loved every minute of those able bodied years and am very grateful for the experiences I have had.

My career highlights include;

  • Contributing to creating an award winning customer experience culture in the various Banking and Insurance departments I’ve managed.
  • Leading an inspired and motivated team of people, many of whom are now lifelong friends.
  • Receiving the inaugural Banking Leader of the Year Award just before I medically retired (such a special parting gift)
  • Restoring an historic church building to its former glory,
  • Appointed as a management consultant in the Anglican Church, and assisted Senior Church Leaders (Clergy and Lay) to bring about exciting reformative change.

Now I’m medically retired I’m exploring my long term passion to be a writer. I’m a member of the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network and an ongoing contributor to “The Mighty”.

With time on my hands I decided to start a blog called ” My Medical Musings” as a way to reach out to others dealing with life changing health episodes. I also founded a Global online support forum, “Medical Musings with Friends”. It’s a place for those living with chronic illness or their carers, wanting the hand of friendship, as they journey an often lonely and difficult path.

It is a place to laugh, cry, share and vent together. It’s my absolute passion and honour to walk daily with others who understand exactly what it is like living with chronic illness.

When health gets complex, it’s really important to find others who are also battling multiple issues to share the never-ending complexities that arise and share all aspects of life living with chronic disease.

One fascinating fact about me is: 

Not sure there’s much fascinating about me at all. My husband and I have moved 17 times in 24 years of marriage!! Some of those moves have been interstate and we have seen a lot of Australia as a result. That part has been a blessing.

Yes we are expert movers and this last move is definitely it. The combination of my husband’s work as an Anglican minister and my work in the Bank, was the reason for the majority of the moves. We have just settled into a lovely Lifestyle village which works perfectly for my disabilities, so hopefully no need to move again…EVER!!!

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

The list is way longer and complex than I would like, but here goes:

  • Rheumatoid Arthritis ( diagnosed 2010)
  • Sjogrens Syndrome  ( diagnosed 2011)
  • Prolapsed Rectum ( diagnosed 2011)
  • Permanent Colostomy ( 2013)
  • Progressive Rare Bone Disease which causes my long bones to pathologically fracture. This includes both my femurs, 7 foot fractures, spinal fractures and severe Lumbar Spinal Stenosis with compressed spinal cord. Fractures won’t heal and surgery to fix my spine constantly fails as the bone disease continues to attack it.

My symptoms/condition began…

In 2010 I was in my mid 40’s, at the height of my career as an Executive Manager in a major bank.

In April of that year I was getting ready to take 6 weeks long service leave to spend some quality time with my beautiful husband. We were going on a road trip through South East Queensland down to the Hunter Valley in Northern NSW and I was so looking forward to having a break.

On the way home I started feeling really unwell and I just couldn’t shake off an extreme tiredness, joint pain like I had never experienced and abdominal pain. My hands were so sore that even the slightest touch was excruciating. I couldn’t hold my husband’s hand or pick anything up. My hips were so painful that walking normally was becoming difficult unless my husband supported me. We knew something was not right.

As soon as we got home we headed for my GP and a whole list of Specialist appointments followed. Long story short, 2 months later I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) after being first diagnosed with Q fever, Ross River Virus and a list of other false positive diagnoses.

My body was not behaving normally and my Doctors and I were to discover over the next 6 years just how abnormal it actually was. I had no idea what lay ahead.

As time went on…

With RA medication on board, I continued to work for another 12 months before my body began to basically break down bit by bit. My last day in the office was Melbourne Cup Day 2011. I was trying to push through the day and getting ready to judge my Departments “Fashion on the Fields” when my Personal Assistant found me in agony in the ladies bathroom and rang my husband to come and pick me up.

From that day my life was never to be the same again.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with a prolapsed bowel which refused to mend despite 3 attempts at conservative surgery. By mid-2013 we knew we had no choice but to accept that I needed a permanent stoma.

In November 2013 I medically retired and became the “proud” owner of a permanent colostomy. It has been quite a journey with my medical team including a Clinical Immunologist, Colorectal Surgeon, Endocrinologist, Orthopaedic Surgeon, Gynaecologist, Ear Nose and Throat Specialist, Infectious Disease Specialist, Neurologist and Dermatologist, all trying to work out what is causing my health issues.

I have been called “special”, “unique”, “one of a kind” but really they all believe overall, aside from Rheumatoid Arthritis, I have a rare idiopathic disease (a disease of its own kind).

I have lost count of the number of times I have been hospitalised over the past 8 years. I have had 14 surgeries since October 2010, with the prospect of more ahead.

I thought Rheumatoid Arthritis and a permanent colostomy would be an end to what my body was going to challenge me with. I hoped I could settle comfortably into medical retirement with my husband but I soon came to realise that my life was going to be an ongoing medical adventure.

Bone Fractures…

In October 2014 my left femur (thigh bone) broke spontaneously. Yes, all on its own, I didn’t fall from a great height or have a major car crash, which is apparently the type of accident I should have been involved in to have the strongest bone in my body break. Mine just broke as I was opening my bedroom door!

It is called a pathological break and my Specialists believe I have a rare genetic bone disease. My bones are extremely dense and marble like and my bone turnover is almost non-existent. We also now know that my bones are dying and much of the soft tissue around my bones is also dead tissue.

12 months after my leg broke, my right femur was also showing signs of disease on MRI with bone marrow involvement so a rod had to be placed in that to prevent an imminent break and repeat medical emergency like we had with my femur break in 2014.

I am constantly dealing with multiple foot fractures and none of my broken bones in my legs or feet will heal. My bone pain is excruciating on a daily basis. My left femur which snapped in two is still broken nearly 5 years later and has been diagnosed as a non-union break. I have been on two crutches or a walker since the femur broke and also have a mobility scooter. The disease is now attacking my spine and causing excess bone to grow into the spinal cord. Despite surgeries to try and remove the bone, it grows back so quickly the surgeries are deemed as “failed”. 

My diagnosis process was… 

Complicated to say the least. As above it was a long process but also quick in the sense that I was referred to the right Specialists and soon had a team working on my case to try and work out what was going on. Some diagnoses were by chance. 6 months prior to my femur snapping in two, my Clinical Immunologist had sent me for a Bone Density Scan.

His concern was low bone density (Osteoporosis) because I had been on Prednisone for 4 years. He was so surprised to find I had extremely high bone density, really high. That just shouldn’t have been the case. He quickly referred me to an Endocrinologist who began monitoring my bone blood markers. All was not good. High Bone Density and low bone turnover meant new bone was being laid down but the old bone wasn’t being replaced. Bone was being added to bone and my skeleton was getting thicker and thicker.

I remember my Endocrinologist saying, “hopefully it will just settle and you won’t get any broken bones”. 

I was suffering with terrible bone pain and within 6 months of her comment she was by my hospital bed in a state of shock as my left femur had snapped in two so spectacularly. I was so blessed to be alive as I was told it could have severed my femoral artery. I was also the pinup girl in the hospital…well, my x-ray was!! 

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

For me it’s the constant daily pain and exhaustion that accompanies it.

A typical day for me involves…

Morning…

Wake up around 6.30am, from a generally broken night’s sleep;

Take pills before I try to get out of bed. Crutches await my descent from my bed….the first effort to get out always fails. I just can’t weight bear until the pills help a little. My back often paralyses my legs and I simply can’t move until anti-inflammatory meds help take the pressure off my spine. When I first get up I only get as far as the ensuite and then straight back to bed;

Eventually I make it to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Depending on how I am feeling and if I need to stand rather than sit, I’ll make a simple breakfast of cereal with banana and a cup of tea. If I can’t do it my husband does. We sit and eat breakfast in the lounge room and watch the morning news and chat together. I also check in on my online support forum, emails and messages;

I take my second set of morning pills with food. These help but they fatigue me for the first 2 hours of the day making it even harder to coordinate movement;

I rarely cry. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I’ve become used to my circumstances, although I still make plans in my head of all I’d like to do during the day, knowing that I’ll be eliminating items from that list constantly. Staying perfectly still the leg hurts but it’s a duller pain.

The slightest movement and it’s like I’ve broken it all over again. Fractured feet and stress fractures in the opposite leg add to my overall disability. The stenosis is by far the most crippling. Even lying down only brings temporary relief and I soon have to get up and try and move;

I’m determined but after breakfast I have no energy to get dressed just yet. I leave showering until the evening after dinner. So much easier to shower then knowing I can collapse into bed straight away.

In the morning I want to run around and stack the dishwasher, dust the furniture, get dressed and do my hair and makeup all before 7.30am. Ha! Not happening! I used to move at such a fast pace. I miss that. I will do all those things but it will take me 3 or 4 hours at a ridiculously slow pace.

I get told others should do those tasks for me but it is so important for my well-being that I keep as much independence as I possibly can. My husband does all the washing and cooking as that is outside of my capabilities.

I still have goals to get better and resume those activities, even though I know it’s unlikely. There is no cure for my disease, it’s progressive and my prognosis is unknown.

Afternoon…

After lunch the fatigue from battling the pain is beyond belief so I need to lie on the bed for at least an hour, if not longer. I’m not a day time sleeper so I just relax as best I can, read, watch TV, blog, write articles and manage my online forum.

In the late afternoon my husband and I will have afternoon tea on our back patio. The fresh air and sitting in our little courtyard/garden brings me so much joy and is so relaxing. We’ve set it up like our own private cafe and I arrange our afternoon tea as if it were served at a boutique coffee shop or tea house. The simple things bring such joy.

I sit in the lounge room for dinner while we watch the news. I take my evening pills, shower  and am back in bed by 8pm. My husband joins me by 9pm and we watch TV together. We love our evenings.

I rarely leave the house aside from medical appointments but I still have goals to get out a little more and we’ve started to achieve those once a fortnight.

Stoma…

All of the above is my normal routine unless my stoma becomes over active. I then have to manage changing my stoma appliance, putting all best laid plans out to pasture.

(I have a permanent colostomy due to a severe rectal prolapse. A ‘colostomy’ is a stoma formed by bringing part of your colon (large bowel) out on to the surface of your abdomen).

I do actually love my stoma, which I’ve had for 6 years on the 11th November. The pain and disability from having a severe rectal prolapse was horrific. My stoma restored some quality of life and I’m so grateful for it.

 The one thing I cannot live without is…

My husband

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

Life isn’t over with a chronic illness diagnosis and disability. It’s just different. New opportunities to connect with others and pursue new passions and goals, is achievable. It’s all about our mindsets. It’s about choosing to embrace new ways of living. I’ve learned to focus on enjoying moments, rather than planning ahead for good days/weeks or months. 

In many ways so much of my life has changed, but nothing has changed where my faith and trust in God is concerned. I am resolved to make the best of each and every day I am blessed with.

I love each day, as I know despite my unrelenting pain, I will have moments within the day that bring joy, laughter and connection with others in some small way. Just writing this has been something I’ve enjoyed. I will definitely be collapsing on the bed straight afterwards but it’s been a delight and an honour to collaborate with Pamela on her blog.

My support system is…

My Husband is my full time carer and my main support.

My Online Support Forum Members provide me with so much love and encouragement on a daily basis

Close Friends who stay in touch with a text, email or a visit (for those who live close enough)

Our family all live interstate or a few hours away so we don’t get to see each other in person much but they are amazing in their care and concern, and also regularly text, email and phone my husband and I. 

I have Government Funded support for Physio, Podiatry, Occupational Therapy, Carers, transport, home modifications, plus permanent approval for Residential Care if my health progresses to the stage of need 24 hour around the clock care.

Our Church, although having just moved to a new suburb, we are still in the process of forming new connections.

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

Go for a long drive with my husband in the country. Visit little towns, stop at gorgeous cafes and walk for miles around country shops. 

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

I think having true empathy for others suffering with chronic illness/ disability has been a growing experience for me. We think we understand what it’s like but when you’re relatively healthy, life is busy and we don’t take enough time to look outside of our own world, to truly understand another’s needs and struggles.

Ultimately the one positive….. the gift of time

One final thing I want people to know is: 

That moment when the focus shifts to the possible, rather than looking at the impossible, is a life changing moment. It’s the moment a cheerful heart has room to emerge, despite our chronic illness

My links are:

Blog:  https://mymedmusings.com/

Online Support Forum:    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1074726565969551/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com.au/mymedicalmusings/

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/mymedmusings/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/My_medmusings

Interview October – Aleisha Crabb

It’s time to introduce my next guest, the vibrant Miss Aleisha Crabb. I’m delighted to share her story here!

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

My name is Aleisha & I live in Canberra, Australia. I was born in a country town in New South Wales called Dubbo & my parents moved to Canberra when I was 1 year old.

I am a Nurse, and I work in Drug & Alcohol. My work has given me an amazing insight into human nature, and the complexities surrounding chronic pain, opioid use & addictions. I absolutely love my job & cannot imagine working anywhere better considering my own life experience of chronic pain.

One fascinating fact about me is:

I have a ridiculous good memory for movie/TV show quotes. I remember the most bizarrely un-memorable lines from movies & shows, haha. 

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

  • Psoriatic Arthritis (with associated Enthesitis & Bursitis)
  • Osteoarthritis
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
  • Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension
  • Trigeminal Neuralgia
  • Generalised Anxiety Disorder

My symptoms/condition began…

I injured my knee in my first year of nursing. That injury seems to have been the catalyst for triggering the onslaught of my Psoriatic Arthritis.

My diagnosis process was…

Tedious. The GP I was seeing when I first injured my knee was what I now know to be quite lazy, and was very disinterested in holistic care.

It took a very long time for him to refer me to a Rheumatologist, but when I eventually was, I was triaged as urgent & was seen in weeks. Some people have had to wait over 12 months to get into them, so for that I am very grateful.

From there I was diagnosed first as Undifferentiated Spondyloarthropathy, and as my symptoms progressed, and more specific symptoms presented, I was eventually diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis.

The majority of my other conditions were more easily & quickly diagnosed.

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

The fatigue. Pain is something I have learned to manage, but the severely depleted energy levels is not something I have ever been able to successfully become accustomed to.

A typical day for me involves…

  • Wake up around 730am.
  • Medication and breakfast (if I am feeling up to it, sometimes I am too tired/nauseous).
  • Feed the cat. He will look at me forlornly (and disdainfully) if I don’t 😉
  • Work is from 9am – 530pm. (I have had my start time adjusted to 9am from 830am so that I am able to manage morning stiffness from my PsA. This gives me an extra 1hour at home due to peak hour traffic!)
  • Home for dinner around 6pm. Sometimes I have cooked something, othertimes it is takeaway or a pre-delivered meal service like Lite & Easy.
  • Medications around 7pm as one is to prepare for sleep.
  • Bed at 9pm after a shower usually. I do a nighttime meditation to help sleep.

The one thing I cannot live without is…

 My cat. He is my ever present comfort, amusement & joy throughout the trials & tribulations of chronic illness. 

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

To slow down & enjoy life. I am so relaxed about life & what I am able to enjoy now.

My support system is…

My family & close friends. They are essential to my emotional wellbeing 😊 

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

Walk up a mountain to have a picnic, visit a remote Indigenous site in Australia that requires lots of walking to access & camp under the stars without my CPAP machine! 

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

The people I have connected with as a result 😊 . The connections I have made since becoming chronically ill have become incredibly important and special to me, and I have made some lifelong friends.

Having people in your life who understand the difficulties associated with chronic illnesses and disabilities, can relate to the challenges and frustrations you face every day and truly care about your wellbeing can never be underestimated.

One final thing I want people to know is:

Its OK not to be OK.

The biggest challenge for me has been slowing down & how difficult that has been at times. I was always an active person before I became unwell; always taking on lots of challenges. Now, I have to drastically limit my activities in any given day as overactivity can bring on severe flares. This was a huge change for me & emotionally I was quite overwhelmed & became very anxious.

I want all people to know it is ALWAYS OK to tell others that they need more support if they are finding the emotional toll of their chronic illness/disabilities too hard to manage on their own.

My links are:

https://acrabbycripple.wordpress.com/

Interview October – Keiran Potter

It’s time to meet my next guest, the fabulous Keiran Potter! I’m excited about what he has to share!

Keiran Potter

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

Hello, my name is Keiran Potter, I am 21 years old and I am from the South West of England. I am currently studying English Literature and Creative Writing at University and hope to pursue a career as a writer if all goes to plan. But you know what they say, best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. 

One fascinating fact about me is:

Not sure how fascinating any of my facts are but I am 22 this month and still often get mistaken for a 12 year old at my local shops. Oh and I’m gay, not fascinating but definitely a fact. 

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

Celiac Disease and Various Mental Health problems but for the sake of this interview I’ll focus on the former

My symptoms/condition began…

The symptoms of Celiac were present for an awful long time before I recognised them as something that could be potentially sinister. The stomach pain, migraines and bleeding had been such a regular thing for me, that it became the norm and I failed to question it for a long time. So I’d say as long as I remember I have had the issue but it wasn’t further explored until May 2018 

My diagnosis process was… 

 I had to have blood tests and several other samples. Celiac Disease can share some symptoms with other serious conditions like intestinal cancers, so my doctor was pretty concerned. Once they came back I got referred to a specialist on a 9 month waiting list. In the interim they told me to research about Celiac Disease and cut out Gluten from my diet. They failed to tell me that by doing this it would also put other aspects of my health at risk. Such as my heart. 

When I was referred I was then asked to eat Gluten again after being gluten-free for 9 months, in order to have an upper endoscopy and biopsy of my intestines. 

So all of my symptoms got more aggressive and I was in constant pain as my body had began healing in the 9 months that I had known about my potential diagnosis 

The first biopsy was inconclusive. I had to wait another 3 months and get another one done. It was quite a hellish experience to be honest but I finally got the 100% confirmation of the disease. Which in many ways was a blessing as I finally had some answers 

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

The constant vigilance and endless fatigue and stomach pain. Even when doing everything you should be doing. Sometimes you have issues for no apparent reason and there is literally no answer to appease your concerns or pain. 

A typical day for me involves…

 A lot of thinking ahead about the risks of everyday living. Such as eating or spending the day out of the house in an unfamiliar place. A lot of time spent on or near a toilet. University, I study English and Creative Writing. Lots of medication but thankfully a lot of laughs 

The one thing I cannot live without is…

 Not really a thing but my support system and the people who help and love me the most. I quite literally would not be alive if it wasn’t for them. 

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

To value every aspect of your life for what it is. You never know when those simple joys may be taken from you. It has also made me more appreciative of health in general. Our bodies are not as indestructible as we may like to think sometimes  

My support system is…

My Family, my mum specifically. I don’t think I would show up to half of the appointments I have if it wasn’t for her dragging me there by the ear. I’m very grateful for all the help and care she gives me 

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

 Eat some Chinese food and go do something productive and just enjoy the day without the illness. I would take advantage of some of the freedoms that I feel I don’t have as much access too since my illnesses have truly taken a hold on my life

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

I think one positive is how you can then use your knowledge of your own body and conditions to educate and help others. There is also a sense of community instantly when you find people who struggle with the same illnesses and experiences. It’s important that all voices are heard, so I’m glad interviews like this amplify the voices of disabled or chronically ill people. 

One final thing I want people to know is:

 Only because a person may not look ill, it doesn’t mean they are not struggling everyday to live their life as normally as possible. Always be kind to everyone you meet as even if you can’t physically see it, that person could be in pain and/ or mental strife. A smile could always brighten up their day 

My links are:

Https://KeiranCrying.com/blog

Instagram.com/keirancrying

Interview October – Melissa Temple

I’m pleased to announce that Melissa Temple is my next guest for Interview October. Let’s read what this lovely lady has to say:

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you… 

Hi. My name is Melissa Temple. I am 40 years old. I am a disability, fibromyalgia, chronic illness and Disney blogger. I am married and have 1 child. I had a blog called HappyFibroGirl but wanted to do more than fibro. So with my husband of 19 years we started Disabled Disney. 

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

Osteo-Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Type 2 Diabetes, Asthma, Endometriosis.

My symptoms/condition began…

I had arthritis symptoms in my 20’s but wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s. My fibro symptoms really started after having knee surgery and a hysterectomy from severe endometriosis. 

My diagnosis process was…

I went to my primary care and told her about all my pain. She said she was pretty sure I had fibromyalgia. She sent me to pain management. The pain management doctor agreed. 

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is… 

Not being able to do everything I used to be able to do. I can’t hardly walk or stand anymore. I used to dance, hike, swim, and do so many physical things! I used to be a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) but I had to stop because I couldn’t stand anymore for long periods.

A typical day for me involves… 

Medications when I wake up..doing some posting on social media for my blog..and eating breakfast…then a nap…then more meds and some more work on my blog and lunch…then another nap…then some more work on the blog if I’m feeling up to it…then more meds and dinner….then watching tv until bed….then more meds…then bed…

The one thing I cannot live without is… 

My husband, my cell phone and my muscle relaxers. My husband is my reason to keep pushing and going, he is my light in the dark and the love of my life. My cell phone is where I do a lot of my blog stuff. It also keeps me connected to the outside world when I am very isolated at home. My muscled relaxers…if I don’t take them I can’t move. 

Being ill/disabled has taught me… 

Really enjoy everything because you may not always have it and you won’t know your about to lose it!

What advice would I give someone recently diagnosed…

Be an advocate for yourself. Yes the doctors have gone to school but you know yourself and you have to live your life…they don’t. 

My support system is…

My hubby, my daughter and all my fibro friends on Facebook and my blogger friends on Twitter.

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would… 

I would dance, go hiking, run and jump…I would go walking around a mall….I would volunteer and be out!

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

It really shows you who cares about you. 

My social media links are:

Website/blog: www.disableddisney.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/disableddisney

Twitter: www.twitter.com/disableddisney

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/disableddisney

Facebook: www.facebook.com/disableddisney

Interview October – Michelle Curtis

It’s time for the annual series I run on There Is Always Hope called Interview October. I have spent time asking questions about health conditions that these amazing people are living with, and their replies help bring education and hope to my readers.

Today, we’re meeting my dear friend Michelle Curtis who runs the blog site The Zebra Pit. Let’s hear her story!

Include a photograph of yourself:

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

Hello! I’m a 47 year old queer disabled woman living in greater Cincinnati. I live a housebound life due to my conditions. Though I am completely disabled by my conditions, I work from home doing freelance writing and managing two websites. Lately, I’ve been working on reviving my creative writing career as a poet and fiction writer, as I’ve managed to improve my cognitive deficits enough to go back to writing and editing some shorter works.

I have been happily married for over 13 years and have a grown stepson whom I love very much, but get to see very little. I am an avid fan of the arts (both high brow and pop), music and nature and consider myself a lifelong learner. I am a huge fan of sci-fi and fantasy, love to learn about astronomy, archeology and science, and spent much of my life protesting the abuse of marginalized peoples and our planet.

I hold a BA in women, gender and sexuality studies with minors in ethnic studies and creative writing and a master of fine arts degree in creative writing. Prior to becoming disabled by my conditions, I worked as everything from a cab driver to a college instructor and have experience in the fields of education, communications, business administration, human resources, healthcare and non-profits, not to mention my illustrious career in retail and banking prior to going to college. 

One fascinating fact about me is:

This is always a hard question for me. I think all people are fascinating when you get to know them. I guess the thing that people are usually fascinated the most with is that almost nothing about me is considered conventional: I have disabling genetic disorders, I am neurodivergent, atheist yet spiritual, pansexual and feminist.

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

I am what is known as a Trifecta Zebra, as I have a trio of rare illnesses that are often seen together; Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). I also have gastroparesis, IBS, Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Dystonia, cognitive dysfunction with significant memory loss (both long and short term), coronary arterial spasm,  degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, CRPS in my right leg, endometriosis, and intractable migraine. I strongly suspect and am seeking diagnosis for chairi and/or craniocervical instability and autism. 

My symptoms/condition began…

As a child, though my symptoms wouldn’t become really apparent until early adulthood.  

My diagnosis process was… 

Fraught with misdiagnoses and errors. Despite my many health problems which I reported to every doctor, I was not diagnosed with EDS until I was almost 45. I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia around age 40 and CSF a couple of years later. A couple of years after that, I was diagnosed with POTS. I had to find EDS and MCAS, figure out that I had them and then find doctors to diagnose and begin treating them. 

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

The cognitive dysfunction. I had developmental delays as a child and everyone thought I was just plain stupid and wouldn’t do much in life. I had terrible self-esteem and no faith in my abilities. I didn’t figure out I was probably pretty smart until my mid-twenties and finally went to college because I simply couldn’t manage doing the only sorts of jobs I could get, those with a high level of physical labor.

I spent years working toward a career I thought would save me and that I loved more than I could ever imagine allowing myself to love anything. By the time I was done, I no longer had the cognitive ability left to actually do the work I’d been trained for, even if I could find ways to accommodate my deteriorating tissues.

I’m glad I’ve found new things to consume my life with and I can’t say I regret the journey. But the knowledge that I could have had a brilliant career had I the capacity to go on is sometimes too much psychic pain to bear. These days I try very hard to focus on what I can accomplish and find focusing on the present helps me to avoid these hard truths.

A typical day for me involves…

I like to say I live on tilt, because I quite literally have to. If I spend too much time in the upright position, I suffer terrible pain and cognitive symptoms and sometimes have seizures. If I’m flat on my back, I develop pain in the back of my head. So I spend much of my day tilted back in a recliner, working on my blogs and writing, trying to avoid the pain caused by being completely upright or completely prone.

Most of my time spent upright is to cook (I cannot tolerate processed foods at all), do therapies and keep up my movement routines of recumbent bike riding and strengthening exercises. In the evening, I try to relax in front of the TV or with a good book. 

 The one thing I cannot live without is…

Myofascial therapy! I’d be in so much pain if not for it!

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

Never to judge other people’s lives or make assumptions about why someone does something.

My support system is…

My husband is my primary source of support, but we both have chronic health conditions so things can get pretty hairy from time to time, but we usually manage! The remainder of my support comes from within the chronic illness/spoonie community.

I know there are any number of people I can turn to for emotional support or needed advice regarding my health and wellness. I would be lost without them, as I have few others in my life.

If I had one day symptom/disability-free I would…

It would be a lot like Ferris Buehler’s Day Off without the teen angst! A great deal of sightseeing, dancing and celebrating of life, topped off by an exciting and romantic evening of a show, an amazing dinner, more dancing and a carriage ride around Fountain Square. 

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is…

It’s made me take responsibility for my mental health and taught me what real support looks like, allowing me to walk away from all the toxic people in my life.

One final thing I want people to know is: 

No matter how bad things get, there’s always the possibility that things will get better, as long as you keep fighting. I spent years so inundated by symptoms and disabled by my health that I could no longer see the point of living. I nearly took my own life.

I’m so glad I managed to pull myself out of that deep depression, because it turns out I have quite a lot of life left in me. How did I succeed? I started saying yes to anything that I thought could help, searching exhaustively for solutions. It worked! I found my correct diagnoses and ways to treat my pain and symptoms that affords me a life I can live with.

Now I also have some joy and a sense of my own strength. I may not have beat chronic illness, but I am doing a pretty good job of not letting it defeat me and helping others to also find things to help them.

My links are:

https://zebrapit.com a health and wellness site for spoonies and zebras

https://mykiewritesit.blog a site to display my writing services, poetry and short stories, and discuss writing and blogging strategies and techniques.

Why I Blog (About Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain and Invisible Illness)

I have been blogging for a couple of years now and recently someone asked me “why do you blog? What do you get out of it?”

It was a good question, so I thought I’d write a post about my reasons for blogging and what I hope to achieve with this blog site

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Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay

Education

When I first started to blog, I wrote about my total hip replacement because I’d had problems trying to find first-person accounts of undergoing that particular type of surgery, especially for someone who was in their 50’s. Hip replacements seem to be done on mostly older folks (in their 70’s or older) but rarely on the younger set, unless you’ve been born with a hip problem or have suffered a devastating injury. 

Because I was only 54 when I had my hip replacement done, I was considered “unusual” by my surgeon (and yes, I’m sure he meant my hip only and not me in general!) so trying to find others in the same position was difficult. I had read enough websites to understand the technical side of the surgery, but I wanted to find out what it was like to actually have the surgery and then recuperate and go on with life. 

Since I was unable to find a lot of good information, I decided to write about my own experiences, so others in my position might be able to find what I was looking for. Once I’d written about that, it seemed natural to go on and talk about other health issues I live with and how they impact my life. From there, the blog site grew organically and became what it is now – a place for articles and posts about Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue and Invisible Illnesses, such as Lupus, MS, Arthritis, POTs, Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome and more. 

The goal has been achieved and I’m proud of what I’ve been able to create with this site. I hope others feel the same. 

Compassion

Living with a Chronic Illness is hard work. People with Chronic Pain and Invisible Illness are often left feeling isolated, and when you find someone online who speaks your language, it can be like finding an oasis in the desert. 

In addition to educating people, I wanted this blog site to be a place where comments could be left freely, allowing people the opportunity to share what’s going on in their lives in a safe way. When readers have identified with a particular post, their comments reflect their own lives and situations and I take that seriously. I often respond back, not always in the comment section, but in-person to what they’ve said.

My responsibility as a writer is to ensure that not only am I educating people but I’m giving them some hope as well. Life with Chronic Illness is painful physically and mentally and when you find a spot online that reflects your own thoughts and ideas and connects with you, there’s a genuine freeing sensation. You feel less alone in the world and you realize that other people “get it”. Being understood is an amazing feeling and us Chronic Pain Warriors don’t always feel understood. 

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Volunteering

In many ways, I see writing this blog as another form of volunteering that I do. My focus on health and wellbeing extends beyond this blog site, but I consider the site to be one of service to others. 

Like my other volunteer roles, I receive no compensation for producing this site, with the exception of any money I might make with Affiliate Marketing (more about that in a minute). I do this purely because I want to help others who are in Chronic Pain and who feel lost and alone and in need of information that might help make their lives better. 

My other volunteer roles include committee work for Surgical Quality Improvement, improving Clinical Resources for Patients such as updating Patient Information Sheets received when you are discharged from an ER and Laboratory Quality Control to ensure that Patients are receiving the best care possible when they are providing lab samples for doctor-ordered tests. I also sit on a Provincial Measurement Working Group that is creating a survey for Patients in British Columbia, Canada to ensure that their care received has been the best it can be. 

These roles, together with this blog, give me ample ways to help others, and that brings a lot of happiness to my soul. 

 

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Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Helping Myself

My final reason for blogging is purely selfish…I do this for me as well. It’s therapeutic to be able to write about what’s new in health care, or what I’ve been thinking about a certain subject. I love being able to tackle controversial subjects or bring emotional issues to light, such as intimacy when you are Chronically Ill. 

I consider myself lucky to be in a position where I can have some influence over others and perhaps introduce them to a treatment they haven’t heard of before. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as hearing back from someone who says “you changed my life” or “I really needed to read this”. It makes up for the research, the typing on days when my hands hurt and the work of coming up with new topics that will be of interest.

If you are a blogger, you understand what I’m talking about. If you are a reader, just let me say that having responsibility for you and what I’m producing for you is an honour I don’t take lightly. I want to make sure you’re getting information that benefits you and your health because I know what it’s like to live with Chronic Illness and I know the types of things that I’d like to read and learn from. 

Thank you for allowing me to share these thoughts with you. I appreciate your comments below, or you can always write to me using the Contact Form. 

I do this because I love it. I love sharing and helping others and I hope I’m able to continue for a long time to come. Remember…

There Is Always Hope

A Positivity Pause (Quotes To Help Your Frame Of Mind)

When you live with Chronic Pain, you often find yourself juggling various mood swings. It’s hard to stay positive when you’re in pain all the time, so here are some quotes to help you stay on track or to turn to when you need to be uplifted.

Thanks to Success.com for the following:

1. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”

— Helen Keller


2. “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”

— Willie Nelson


3. “Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.”

— Lyndon B. Johnson


4. “In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”

— Dalai Lama


5. “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.”

— Walt Disney


6. “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

— Zig Ziglar


7. “Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.”

— William James


8. “You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.”

— Deepak Chopra


9. “The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being.”

— Lee lacocca


10. “Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better.”

— Harvey Mackay


11. “In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact.”

— Les Brown


12. “I’m a very positive thinker, and I think that is what helps me the most in difficult moments.”

— Roger Federer


13. “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”

— Colin Powell


14. “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

— Winston Churchill


15. “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful.”

— Buddha

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Quotes for Daily Living from Goodreads

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.” 
― Walt Whitman
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”
― Bruce Lee
“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”
― Mary Manin Morrissey
“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
― Oscar Wilde
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”
― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
― John Wooden
“Dream as if you will live forever; Live as if you will die today.”
― James Dean
“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
― John Wesley
“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
― Mark Twain
“The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.”
― Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking
“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”
― Thomas S. Monson
“Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint!”
― Jane Austen, Love and Friendship
“Sit in a room and read–and read and read. And read the right books by the right people. Your mind is brought onto that level, and you have a nice, mild, slow-burning rapture all the time.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
“Be grateful, be smart, be clean, be true, be humble, be prayerful.”
“Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.”
― Lou Holtz
“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
― Muhammad Ali
“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.”
― Ronald Reagan
“May I share with you a formula that in my judgment will help you and help me to journey well through mortality… First, fill your mind with truth; second, fill your life with service; and third, fill your heart with love.”
― Thomas S. Monson
“Meditate.
Live purely. Be quiet.
Do your work with mastery.
Like the moon, come out
from behind the clouds!
Shine”
― Siddhārtha Gautama
“In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don’t try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present.”
― Lao Tzu
“Being yourself is all it takes. If you want to impress someone don’t be someone else just be yourself.”
― Selena Gomez
“The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.”
― Warren Buffett
“Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can’t answer.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.”
― William Arthur Ward
“Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.”
― William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
“Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.”
― Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume
“It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
There Is Always Hope

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Note: This post contains Affiliate Links which pay me a small percentage of your purchase price at no cost to you.

When you live with Chronic Pain, everything you do becomes a new challenge. Working, socializing, taking care of kids and/or a home – you still need to do it all and live your life, but now you have persistant pain as your constant companion. Often, you find yourself compromising or looking for better ways of doing things, so your pain isn’t exacerbated.

One of the areas of life with Chronic Pain which is often not talked about is intimacy and your sexual well-being. These are crucial components of a good relationship, but what happens when pain causes you to withdraw from sexual relations, and intimacy begins to suffer? Let’s talk about some of the reasons this happens and what can be done.

Difficulties with intimacy may stem from various causes, including increased pain during sexual activity, a lack of arousal and accompanying vaginal dryness, the inability to reach orgasm, side effects from the use of opioids and other commonly-used medications (eg, certain antidepressants), a past history of sexual abuse, and issues with communication in general.

Because of Chronic Pain, you may find your overall relationship has begun to suffer. A partner may withdraw from you because they don’t know how to help you. This translates to the bedroom, where they may be afraid to cause you more pain or they’re dealing with their own issues regarding your health. Perhaps your partner has become resentful of the extra burden placed on them with your inability to do certain chores now.

A change in standard routines can be upsetting for everyone and this may cause extra fatigue for you both, which also causes you to withdraw from intimacy. Sleep may be what you crave the most, and when your partner wants to have sex, it’s the last thing on your mind.

So how do you overcome these issues? What do you do to make sex more enjoyable for both of you? Here is an expanded list of ideas from a previous post that might be a good starting point.

  • Talk. Make a point of talking openly and honestly about what you are feeling. If there is fear about pain, talk about it and what you can do to alleviate any extra. If you feel disconnected from your partner because it’s been a long time since you last were intimate, talk about those feelings and what you’re worrying about. Do you have scars or extra weight that is causing you concern? Be honest about how you feel. It can be very vulnerable to speak the truth, but it often brings you closer to your partner in the long run.
  • Touch. Exploring your partner’s body through touch is an exciting way to express your sexual feelings. This can include holding hands, cuddling, fondling, stroking, massaging and kissing. Touch in any form increases feelings of intimacy.
  • Self-stimulation. Masturbation is a normal and healthy way to fulfil your sexual needs. One partner may use masturbation during mutual sexual activity if the other partner is unable to be very active.
  • Oral sex. It can be an alternative or supplement to traditional intercourse.
  • Toys. Use of various sex toys can help loosen inhibitions, relax the body and make intercourse more enjoyable.
  • Different positions. Lie side by side, kneel or sit. Look in your library or bookstore for a guide that describes and illustrates different ways to have intercourse. If you’re embarrassed to get this kind of book locally, try an online book retailer.
  • Vibrators and lubricants. A vibrator can add pleasure without physical exertion. If lack of natural lubrication is a problem, over-the-counter lubricants can prevent pain from vaginal dryness.
  • Pillows and wedges. Make use of pillows and wedges to help find comfortable positions that alleviate pressure points. A good sex shop can help you find products specifically made for this purpose.
  • Change your expectations. Because reaching orgasm can be almost impossible when you are on certain medications, you may find changing your expectations for sex will help you enjoy lovemaking more. Don’t make orgasm the ultimate goal…just enjoy sex for what it is – a pleasurable experience.
  • Ask for what you need. Listen to your body and what it’s telling you during sex. If certain activities make you feel better, do more of that. Lovemaking doesn’t always have to end in intercourse. Oral sex during a lovemaking session may be all that you desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  • Prepare in Advance. It’s important for people with Chronic Pain to understand that sexual activity often takes a lot of planning. There is not as much spontaneity as there used to be. You may find you need to take your pain medication, apply heat, or stretch before sexual activity. This is also a good time to try increasing your arousal by reading erotica, watching a video, or having your partner give you a massage in the area of your pain.
  • Timing. Choose a time of day when you have less pain as a time to be sexually active. For some people as the day goes on, the pain gets worse, but the opposite also may be true for others. If you have kids, you may have to sneak away for a quickie, but even that is better than no sex at all. If you can arrange for the kids to be away overnight, it gives you plenty of time to relax and set the stage for intimacy.

Sex is meant to be a natural part of a relationship. Just because you live with Chronic Pain doesn’t preclude you from being able to enjoy lovemaking with your partner. You might want to try some of these products to bring a new spark to your bed (or living room or bathroom or…)

Kiss Me Massage Oil

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Lynk Anal Lubricant

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Kegel Exercisor and App

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Female Stimulant

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Personal Wand Massager

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Personal Portable Vibrator

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Love Worth Making – an Intimacy Book

Chronic Pain And Intimacy (And How To Spice Up Your Life)

Remember,

There Is Always Hope