Furiously Happy – A Tribute

I’m doing a tribute today to an amazing woman named Jenny Lawson. You may have heard of her. She’s an incredible writer and the author of the books “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, “Furiously Happy” & “You Are Here”.

She writes about her own struggles with depression and man, can she write!!! Her sense of humour is incredibly warped and twisted (just the way I like it), she blogs as The Bloggess (thebloggess.com) and there are several Facebook fan groups as well, one of which I belong to. We are her Tribe. We get her. We understand what she goes through and experiences, and even if some of us don’t live with depression, most of us know someone who does. For me, it’s my husband.

I wrote this piece one day when I was feeling overwhelmingly happy that I had found this particular Tribe to call my own. Here goes:
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I live with several health issues that leave me in constant chronic pain: Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis in all my major joints, Myofascial Pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Forestier’s Disease, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Diabetes Type 2 (on insulin) and Bipolar Disorder. I had Total Hip Replacement on Feb. 7/17 (with my left hip needing to be done as well and possible knee surgery on my right knee later on) and am having a good recovery. I am still in pain, and always will be.

I used to think that my “furiously happy” would come when I no longer lived in pain. Its only been in the last year or so that I’ve come to realize that will never happen. I will NEVER be without pain…that’s just the nature of my body. And when I realized that there would always be the pain, I thought at first “then I will never truly be happy”. I have an amazing husband, whom I love beyond measure. I have 2 grown up kids that I still worry about and three grandsons that I never get to see because of distance. We keep in touch though with social media, and that’s a good thing, but it’s far from being furiously happy.

Because of my health, I had to give up a career that I adored…Admin Support at the Executive level as well as being a Certified Event Planner. I loved my job with every fibre of my being, but came to a point where I physically couldn’t manage it any longer, and with my chronic fatigue, would never be able to manage again. Everything in my life seemed to be about loss…losing a job, losing my hobbies, losing professional relationships, losing friendships, losing mobility, losing at life.

Hubby and I decided in 2013 to make a move to Vancouver Island from Calgary after the weather in Calgary became too much for my body to handle…too cold, too much snow, too long of winters, too icy…too, too, too. We moved here without a job for Ray or even knowing what our apartment looked like – we rented it sight unseen. Slowly, we started making Victoria our home – walking by the ocean, going for coffee or dinner at various places. I soon realized how much I loved it here, even though there were really no friends to share it with (two couples and one girlfriend and that was all that I knew – and even then we rarely saw each other).

One day, I found the Jenny Lawson book Furiously Happy. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I gave the book to Hubby to read and HE has never laughed so much…and he’s not one to show much emotion ever, good or bad. But he laughed and often. From there, I found her website and her other book and then all of sudden, there was THIS group. People like me. People who were struggling and depressed and suffering mentally and physically and I thought to myself “God, thank you for bringing me home”.

Because I realized quickly that I seemed to be good at encouraging other people in their struggles, so I didn’t have to think about mine. I could offer advice or words of comfort, or just the right kitten picture and something would change for the good in that other life. And MY life felt better because of it.
And then I knew, the way that I became Furiously Happy was by being myself and sharing my life with those of you here who needed what I had to offer…a shoulder to cry on, a hug, some understanding, appreciation…whatever you want to call it. I became Furiously Happy because OF Furiously Happy. And now I have my Hubby and my family and my friends and my volunteering AND MY TRIBE!!
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Now, the reason I’m giving a shout out to Jenny today is that she has been undergoing a new treatment for her depression called Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS).  It’s described like this: (TMS) is a noninvasive procedure that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. TMS is typically used when other depression treatments haven’t been effective.
Jenny started treatment 2 weeks ago…and people…IT’S WORKING!!!!!

I want you to go to her blog and read all about it. If you know anyone who is experiencing major depression in their lives and no other treatment has worked, then this MIGHT be an answer for them too. I admire this woman so much, and I’m so delighted that this is working for her, I simply had to share. Please go check it out, buy her books (you will laugh, trust me) and find your tribe if you haven’t already.

If you live with Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, or Invisible Illness of any kind, you can’t go through it alone. You need to find a support group. If you look me up on Facebook, I can introduce you to the Fibro group I belong to. We support everyone who is in pain. And if you’re a fan of Jenny Lawson and want to join the group on Facebook I belong to, use the contact page on the blog here, and let me know.

And remember…

there is always hope

Fibromyalgia and Online Support Groups

Welcome Back!

I belong to an online Fibromyalgia Support Group. I spend so much time on the computer that it made sense to me to find a support group online as well. It’s run by a lady named Catherine and has members from around the world – Australia, England, Canada, and the USA.

It’s a super supportive atmosphere and the one thing we are very clear about is that none of us are doctors and we are not there to dispense medical advice. We can talk about what does and doesn’t work for us, and our own medical experiences, but we can’t diagnose you based on YOUR symptoms, as Fibromyalgia can have SO many symptoms, it would be impossible to try.
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One of the so-called “tests” used to determine if you have Fibro or not is the 18 Tender Points as shown here:

fibromyalgia-disease-overview-18-638

And for those of you unfamiliar with Fibro and all its many symptoms, this diagram might help you see how insidious this disease really is:

Fibromyalgia-Signs-Causes-and-Treatment

And here are some overall averages taken from a US study of percentages of people who experience these symptoms:
symptom_percent
So you can see why Support Groups are so necessary when you live with Fibro, or really any disease that causes Chronic Pain, such as Osteoarthritis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, MS and more.
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Well, I joined a new Fibro support group a few days ago, and just had the most interesting experience. Yesterday, the Leader of the group “diagnosed” a member with a symptom she was experiencing (bloating and constipation) and told her she had “Leaky Gut”. I suggested that she shouldn’t diagnose, and what if it was something else, such as Gastroparesis?

My goodness, did I ever get a pissy response!!!! I took screenshots (which I won’t post here), but I ended up just leaving the group. I was told that this woman has 25 years of living with Fibro, she’s done years of research with top doctors, and she knows what she’s talking about. Apparently, this woman is determined that the only way to resolve Fibro is with Bovine Colostrum and a Chiropractor. Now, I’m willing to try the Bovine Colostrum to see if it helps, but you DON’T diagnose someone definitively, EVER. It’s even in her rules, which I quoted to her, which made her even angrier!!

And not only that, how dare I suggest Gastroparesis and the radioactive tracer test that would diagnose that because that would make this lady’s “Leaky Gut” even worse. FACEPALM (yes, she really put the Face Palm Emoji in there).

And not only THAT, how dare I tell her what to do in her OWN GROUP. She’s never been angry before, I’m the first one in the whole ten months to upset her, blah blah blah blah blah blah (yes, I am that talented!!)

So, I told her I was leaving the group because I obviously couldn’t state my opinion without being attacked, she couldn’t follow her own rules, and I don’t need that kind of energy in my life. I reiterated that it’s okay to suggest possibilities, yes, but you never tell a person that what you suspect they have IS what they have. That’s just being irresponsible. Then I called her an @ss and left. Oops!!

There is always hope.

Something Strange in the Neighbourhood

I don’t know what is going on with my posts and why the spacing is a problem now.

If you notice anything weird in my posts, where the paragraphs aren’t separated properly or things like that, just let me know. On my computer, I see a problem, yet when I go into WordPress, everything looks fine, even when I switch over to HTML. And even if I refresh my page using CTRL + C, I still see the spacing problem between paragraphs.

I’m writing this post in HTML to see if it makes a difference and I’m putting a picture of these guys in it to see if adding a photo changes anything:

ghostbusters-36

It shouldn’t cause a problem, but hey…it’s me and my page and just like my body…who knows what could be going on. Maybe it’s a ghost and maybe I was meant to write this ghost post.
and wow…two posts in a single day from me, both of them barely worth reading. I’ll try and work on my content for you. I’m sure I can do better. I’ll blame it on Dorie, my cat. She’s laying so close to my arm, I can barely type never mind think. Don’t believe me?DorieandPam''sArm

Remember…there is always hope!

ps: it looks like I need to write in HTML all the time…it worked just fine!

😉

Ranting and Swearing…Grrr!

Back in my post of Two Months Later…and counting, I mentioned I was having problems with my Achilles Tendon. Well, I finally made an appointment with a Physiotherapist to have it looked at, as the pain and tenderness has been increasing. And what did I find out? It’s not just tendonitis in the Achilles Tendon, oh no….I have to have Bursitis on top of it, AND it’s most likely there are tears in the tendon itself.
Fuck
Rod is the therapist I’m seeing, and he gave me all the information to explain his findings. He could tell via massaging the tendon and my reaction to the pain that it spread beyond the tendon and into the bursa as well. He did 20 minutes of acupuncture with 4 needles (what is it with me and needles???) and will do that for a few weeks, plus he showed me some stretches like calf raises and modified lunges he wants me to do, to stretch the tendon out. If I want a permanent solution though, he said it’s most likely that I’d need surgery to repair the tendon. Otherwise, the only other option is to just put up with the pain.
Like, I don’t already live with enough pain? UGH! Here Pam…have another heaping helping. Go on…there’s plenty more where that came from apparently. Plus I haven’t even dealt with my shoulder yet -I think I’ve torn the Rotator Cuff. I have an appointment in August to see Dr. Winston, my Pain Doctor, about that on a more official basis. I mentioned the pain last time I was there (for the Synvisc and Botox), as I couldn’t even put my right arm behind my back, and I still can’t. I can’t raise it above my head or beyond straight to the side – it just won’t move any further. And yes, there is pain. And numbness.
Who does this??? Who has a body like this, that just falls apart for no apparent reason???
I’m done. I am simply done. I am worn out physically and I’m sick and tired of things breaking down in my body. I’m scared to ask “what’s next” because there’s going to be a “what’s next” and I’m not sure I’m prepared to deal with it.
Oh yeah – I have my Brain MRI on Friday, June 22nd at 6pm.
Great.

There is always hope!