Let’s Find Out If Fibromyalgia Is Real.

If you’ve been to my blog before, you know that I live with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Invisible Illness. If this is your first visit, you now know something about me. I want it made very clear that YES…Fibromyalgia IS REAL.

Here are just some of the MANY symptoms that people with Fibro have reported experiencing:

Fibromyalgia-Signs-Causes-and-Treatment

Walk a mile in my very painful shoes and you will know exactly how painful it is to live with Fibro. Every one of my muscles feels like it’s being dragged in concrete and every joint feels like it’s been twisted, then put into a mechanical vise and clamped as tightly as possible. I get shooting pains in parts of my body that I didn’t even know existed, for no reason at all. My arms burn and my hands and feet tingle or go numb.
The brain fog is awful…forgetting what you’re saying in the middle of a conversation is so embarrassing. I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast. I can’t remember if I ATE breakfast. I take medications that cause horrible side effects like weight gain and shaking hands and brain zaps…a sensation like an electrical shock that runs across your brain and where you can feel AND hear a literal buzz. I am constantly exhausted by the lack of sleep that comes with Fibro. It’s never refreshing and it’s never enough.
Yet, with all of this that I and my fellow Fibromites go through, there are still doctors who say “it’s all in your head” and “it doesn’t exist”. Well, tell me then…what DO I have wrong? All my tests come back negative for everything you tested me for…but I have all
18 of the 18 tender points that indicate Fibromyalgia is what I have.
Here are things I’ve had to say to friends and to DOCTORS who have questioned me about Fibro and Chronic Pain at various times over the last 10 years:

1. This is not “just in my head”. My pain is real.
2. I wish Fibro came with bruises, that way, you could see how much pain I’m feeling just so you could believe me.
3. It never goes away. My pain is always there, even when I’m acting “normal”. Don’t let my smile fool you, I am always in pain. Always.
4. There is no standard day or week or month with Fibromyalgia, It changes from hour to hour sometimes. Some days are better than others. Some days I think I want to die (this one always gets me in trouble).
5. Staying home instead of working or doing something fun isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
6. You think I’m faking being sick, but really I’m faking being well.
7. The Brain Fog is terrifying. You try forgetting what you’re saying in the middle of a sentence and see how it makes you feel – you feel stupid and old and easy to dismiss. I lose things easily and am easily distracted. It’s so frustrating.
8. Day to day activities are exhausting. Heck, getting out of bed is exhausting.
9. Even if there were drugs that worked well, I am not a drug seeker and my history will show that. I have ONE Family Doctor and use ONE Pharmacy! I just want relief from the pain.
10. What part of “chronic condition” are you having a hard time understanding? I am not going to get better. I am going to live with this for the rest of my life. I hope to get better but it’s never going to go away. Don’t give me false hope.
11. I’m willing to try just about anything, but just because something worked for some Aunt’s friend’s cousin’s sister doesn’t mean it’s going to work for me. We’re all different and treatment isn’t a one size fits all option. But, whatever…I’m willing to listen.
12. Sometimes, I have to cancel my plans at the last minute. Sometimes, I cancel my plans with the same friend 2 or 3 times in a row. It’s not a reflection on the friend. It’s my body.
13. I wish more doctors understood Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain and took us more seriously. Do you see me as a drug seeker too? What about when my x-rays show a body filled with arthritis? How do you deny my pain then? I just want you to help me find answers and relief.
14. Some days, even my hair hurts
15. There are days when the most I can accomplish is moving from the bed to the couch, and that’s okay. At least I did something.
16. On the days I feel good, I push myself too hard to get things done, even though I know I’m going to pay for it later. I hate being thought of as lazy. When my husband comes home, I can honestly say to him, “honey, today I cleaned up, did the dishes, vacuumed the house, did the laundry, baked cookies and scrubbed the bathroom”. And then I know I’ll be bed-bound for the rest of the week.
17. What you see on the outside doesn’t necessarily reflect how I feel on the inside.
18. My chronic fatigue is at times overwhelming and I can’t push past it. It’s exhausting to be this exhausted.
19. I wish a simple nap would help to relieve my pain, but it will not disappear if I lay down and have a rest.
20. I’m a real person with real pain. I didn’t ask for this but I’m being forced to live with it. I didn’t do anything to get this, but sometimes I feel like I’m being punished.

Research has now shown that Fibromyalgia is NOT an inflammatory condition like so many doctors first thought. It is technically NOT an autoimmune disease. What Fibro IS, is a NERVE disease where the brain misreads the pain signals going to the body through the spinal cord. This causes widespread pain throughout the body that can be felt in many different ways, and these include the various symptoms shown in the chart above.

Oh, it can be so frustrating having an Invisible Illness like Fibro. I truly do wish there were outward signs of this illness so that people could see that you’re ill. Something like bruises or a rash, or big F’s showing up on your body would be perfect (“oh look…she has F’s all over her…poor thing, she has Fibromyalgia…go get the door for her”). I truly wouldn’t mind that if it would help a doctor believe in what I’m going through, trust me.

But, as I always say…

there is always hope!

Medication Frustration

It’s a frustrating thing when the medications you’ve come to rely on suddenly decide to stop working. Pain meds no longer manage your pain, and brain meds no longer manage your brain. It’s no fun to find yourself in this situation, but for People with Chronic Pain (PwCP), it happens all the time.
Drugs
There are only 3 medications that are specifically prescribed for Fibromyalgia: Lyrica, Savella and Cymbalta. Lyrica, in particular, is known for weight gain as a side effect and when I first started taking it, years back, I gained 30lbs in 2 months time. I’m a short girl (5’2″) but I have a large frame, so I didn’t want to gain anything…I’m already stocky. I told my doctor that I couldn’t handle being so heavy (I think I went up to 160lbs), so she took me off the Lyrica and put me on the Cymbalta instead. I lost some of the weight and for a long time, seemed stable at 140lbs which I was okay with. I was still working out at the time and had a muscular body thanks to my trainer and her torture sessions every week (hi Terrianne…love you!).
Fast forward 10 years and I’m still on the Cymbalta, but I don’t think it’s as effective as it used to be. The problem is, science hasn’t kept up and there is nothing newer to try. Even though I continue to take my daily doses on schedule, I find that I develop brain zaps in between and my Fibro pain seems to have increased over the years as well. Part of it might just be from ageing, and part might be from my Osteoarthritis getting worse as well. I’ve also noticed that since I had my right hip replaced and I developed this Haglund’s Deformity in my left foot, my legs are constantly achier than they’ve ever been. I’ve always put that down to walking with a different gait, but I wonder if that’s my Fibro flaring up as well.
The other medication that has been difficult to regulate is what I take for my Bipolar Disorder. I was on Seroquel for a couple of years with good success, until I started having auditory hallucinations. I would be hearing music where other people heard nothing. It took a long time before we determined it was my medication causing the problem, including a visit to a Psychiatrist to determine that I didn’t have Schizophrenia. Once we realized the Seroquel was the problem, we switched to a new drug called Abilify. That worked great for the first several months, providing me with energy that I hadn’t had before and a whole fresh outlook on life.
Unfortunately, it also brought some side effects like shaking hands and trembling tongue and brain zaps – those internal lightening-fast buzzes in the head. We cut the dosage in half and then in half again, but to lose the side effects meant to lose the benefits as well. I see my doctor again soon and I think we’re going to have to try something new. The problem is, everything new is in the same general category as what I’m currently taking, so not sure what type of success we’ll have.
Speaking of seeing my doctor, I have to say that my new doctor is lovely. Dr Penny Wilson is from Australia and is in Canada for a year at least (with the promise that if she decides to go back to Australia at the end of the year, my care will be taken over by another doctor in the practice so I won’t be left stranded). She prefers to be called Penny rather than Dr and she’s simply delightful to talk to. She’s matter of fact and down to earth, and genuinely wants to see me as healthy as possible, so on my last visit there, to get the results of blood work and to get a prescription refill on my opioid medication, she decided she wanted me to book another appointment asap for what she called a Complex Care Review. As she said, “if anyone is complex, it’s you”. How true!
Basically, this appointment will be a chance to sit down for 30 minutes to go through EVERYTHING that I’m experiencing healthwise so we can triage what’s important, what can wait, what Dr Winston, my Pain Doctor, is dealing with, and what needs to be sent off to other doctors. For instance, I’ve had ongoing pelvic pain, likely due to a build-up of scar tissue/adhesions from several previous abdominal surgeries. I do know that when I had each of my ovaries removed, there was scar tissue attaching my bladder to my bowel. When I move certain ways, it feels like my insides are ripping apart, like velcro being torn open and it’s crazy painful. This is something I haven’t dealt with yet, because there have been too many other things wrong with my body. Penny will likely refer me to either the Gynocologist or to a General Surgeon to have a laparoscopic procedure done to see if they can remove some of the adhesions so that pain can be eliminated. Yes, a surgical procedure will cause more adhesions, but if they can get rid of 90% and have only 10% more grow, then those are good odds for me.
It feels weird to be looking forward to a Dr appointment, but I think this will be one of the most beneficial ones I’ve had in ages. I’m also taking in all my medications, so we can do a review and see if there’s anything I can stop or any dosage changes I need to incorporate. Yes, Penny is very thorough and for that, I’m very grateful. I have a feeling that when the appointment on the 27th is over, I’ll no longer have medication frustrations. What an answer to prayer!!
there is always hope!
 
 
 
 

Feelings…Nothing More Than Feelings

I’ve been wrestling with my emotions lately and wasn’t sure if I was even going to post about them. I’ve gone from feeling quite happy about how things are going in my life to outright despair over situations I have no control over. Because I am a Christ Follower, I do pray, but there are so many times I wish I could do more for the people in my life that are suffering. It’s especially hard when my own life is going so well.
Physically, I am doing better than I have been in a really long time. My Fibromyalgia pain has been well controlled lately, without any major flare-ups, my right knee has been doing well since the Synvisc injection finally kicked in, and although the Botox didn’t work for my Trigeminal Neuralgia (I had several flare-ups after it was done), I haven’t had a major problem in the last two months. The only real problem I’m having right now is with my left foot, and what I thought was a problem with my Achilles Tendon. Overall though, my energy has been good and since my dose of Abilify was cut in half, the shaking hands and the tongue tremors and brain zaps seem to have eased up as well. My Bipolar Disorder has been well controlled and other than the fact my insomnia continues to cause major problems and I still average 2-3 hours of sleep at night, overall, I can’t really complain. I feel about as good physically as I have in the last few years and this is a real blessing.
What does have me troubled is that I have several friends who are going through really difficult times right now. One has a daughter in her 20’s with cancer, one has a young daughter with digestive issues and one has a husband with cancer. It’s hard to be so close to people emotionally and yet not able to do anything for them to help them in these battles. So, I’ve done the only thing I know how to do. I’ve sent them each a cow.
A cow named Courage.
Let me explain. I love cows…I always have. I collect them…stuff ones and china ones and figurines and you name it. I have a small collection now, but once upon a time, I had over 400 cow-related items. Now I just keep it to the figurines and stuffies, and Christmas tree ornaments. Courage the Cow was born when my very dear friend Kevin was diagnosed with Lymphoma several years ago. I sent him a stuffed cow from my personal collection to help him through his battle and now Kevin is cancer free. When I heard about my friends and the battles they were going through, I thought that perhaps a Courage Cow of their own might be a good idea. So, that’s what I’ve done. I have taken stuffed cows from my personal collection and sent them on, with a note indicating that Courage is especially talented at eating cancer cells.
Courage also brings great comfort to young children with tummy troubles – that is another speciality of his. I’ve boxed up each of these cows and sent them off and so far, two people have received theirs. The young lady with cancer has had many cuddles with her Courage Cow and has said she already feels better. She will be undergoing a third Chemotherapy treatment soon. My small friend with the digestive problems loves her Courage Cow and wouldn’t put him down. She even made room on her bed for him and apparently that was QUITE the big deal as she’s very particular about who sleeps with her. She will be going to Boston Children’s Hospital in October for a complete digestive workup to see why her bowels don’t work properly and why eating is such a problem for her. She’s 5 years old and has had problems all her young life, so hopefully, Courage will be a comfort for her. As for the final recipient, I’m waiting to hear if Courage has been delivered yet or not…I expect any day now. He discovered he had Stage 4 prostate cancer out of the blue after having no previous symptoms at all.
I’m very thankful that despite my chronic illnesses, I’m healthy in the sense that I need no ongoing treatments such as chemo, or IViG, etc. Sure, I live with ongoing daily pain and I take a bunch of medications to manage my conditions, but overall, I’m healthy for a “sick” person. I just hope and pray it stays like that. I know that I have some surgeries in my future to expect, as my left hip needs to be replaced, and a possible surgery on my left foot where I thought my Achilles Tendon was injured. Instead, it turns out I have something else, called a Haglund’s Deformity. I’ll be seeing an Orthopedic Surgeon in the near future to discuss that further. Still, I can’t complain healthwise (well, I could, but no one would listen!). I know too many people who have things far worse than me. And for them, I listen, encourage and send out cows. And I try to remind them that even in the worst of times…
There is always hope
ps: As a reminder, if anyone is interested in taking the course 31 Days of Expressive Writing for Chronic Pain and Illness that I recently completed, I have become an Affiliate and will earn a small commission if you purchase the course through this link.
The price for this course is only $39.00. There are other courses available through Esther’s site, including What Really Helps People With Chronic Pain for only $99.00, and Pacing For Chronic Pain, priced at just $69.00. To sign up for these courses, please make sure you use my Referral Number 19f3aa. Thanks very much…if you do sign up, I hope you find the course as helpful as I did.
 

Needle-ittle Update On Things? Sure!!

I’m so funny! I make me laugh!!
Okay, first of all, welcome back! Now, I’m not sure if I’m welcoming you back to the blog, or myself. Honestly, it’s like I write in 2 month spurts, but I know I have so much I want to say….it just takes forever for me to feel well enough to write, and then I start and then I get tired and then I stop and then I get energy and then I start and then I get tired and then I stop and then I get energy and then…and then…and then. Well, of my 12 followers, and the few others who read this but don’t follow me (and you shouldn’t…I get lost a lot…more on that below too!), you probably know me well enough to know that my Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue pretty much rule what I can and can’t do. So, I write when I can, I keep short notes to add here later on when I’m able. Such as my hubby Ray and I heard that a dear friend of ours in Calgary was going through an extremely upsetting situation and facing some immediate financial challenges so daunting, she could lose her house. A mutual friend set up a Go Fund Me account for her, but Ray and I sent her an immediate $500 to help her right away. I wanted to share that because it was such a blessing to be able to help in a bigger way this time rather than just a phone call to tell her we were praying and that she was loved.
So, continuing with the story, I took my injection kit and headed off to see my Physiatrist, Dr. Winston on the morning of March 8th, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. He came into the examination room and asked if I had the Synvisc with me – it felt so clandestine (“Hey Rocco…you got the stuff?”). I gave him the box and told him I had a feel-good story for him about it. I mentioned in my last post that the cost for Synvisc-One is quite expensive – $481 to be exact, and when I had called my benefits provider, they had told me it wasn’t covered so we would have to bear the cost of it ourselves. Fine, no problem.
Well, wouldn’t you know it, but when Ray went to pick up the Synvisc-One kit…our insurance company covered the complete cost, no questions asked!!!  I love it when things like that happen…I believe it was God’s confirmation that we did the right thing helping our friend in need, and He provided for us in return. I’ve probably never mentioned on this blog that I’m a Christ Follower, but there you have it…the first time said, but probably not the last!
So, back to me and my knee!! Dr. Winston had another student with him for this appointment, another handsome young fellow named Lee (are all Med students so gorgeous now, like they’re all from TV shows???). Plus, Dr. Winston had a surprise for me…he had Botox for my face!!!!  Yay!  I wasn’t expecting that, so that was a real treat! He put some ice on my knee to freeze it a bit, then asked me to show Lee where I experience the facial pain, so I pointed to the area under the cheekbone. Then Dr. Winston explained to Lee that they don’t inject the Botox under that area or the muscles would droop. Instead, they do it along the side of the face, right by the hairline, going from the temple to the jawline and injecting approximately six small shots – more like tiny pinpricks, though I could feel the Botox spreading (more like oozing) as he did it.
I’ve had Botox injections done before, in other, more intimate places for muscles and it’s really not painful. So, he went ahead and did those injections while the knee froze, and it was quick and painless. After that was done, he got busy with my knee. The first injection was painful and he pointed out to Lee that you could physically see where I was shutting down because of pain…it was just agonizing!! Dr. Winston then injected some local freezing into the knee area and waited for it to take effect before injecting the rest of the Synvisc-One, which went smoother but still painful.
He told me to stay off the leg for the next couple of days and asked me to call him in a month to follow up, and then see him within 6 months for a follow-up appointment. So…what did happen after a month? Well, I’d say neither of the injections really did what I wanted them to do.
For the knee, there was a tiny bit of pain relief in the beginning, but after the first two weeks, the knee went back to collapsing with the sharp bolt of pain and the ache was there again, just as before. And with the face, I had a major TN flareup a month after the Botox, and have had several more since. I didn’t call to give him the follow up in the month after (probably because I was in the middle of the TN flareup then forgot), but now I need to call him to make an appointment because my right shoulder is giving me major grief. I mentioned it to him at the last appointment, and I’ve been doing the exercise he showed me, but I have a feeling I’ve damaged the rotator cuff and might need a surgical solution.
So, that’s where we’re at with those body parts. In other health news, I’ve had increasing auditory hallucinations, that continued to get louder and louder in my head, and the voices started getting louder as well. I was also able to distinguish the voices more clearly. They’ve always sounded more like “talk radio” but this time I could make out women’s voices and very clearly heard the word “her” being said over and over. At one point, I start having a panic attack, everything was so big in my head. Ray had his own Dr. appointment w. Dr. Leong and I gave him permission to talk about me. He told Dr. Leong that he was worried and Dr. Leong told Ray he wanted to see me asap. I went in the next day and Dr. Leong asked me if I knew why I was there. I answered, “because my husband loves me”. We’ve done a major prescription change…I am completely off the Seroquel for my Bipolar Disorder and I’ve started taking Abilify.
I think there’s been a huge difference already. The hallucinations have settled down, I have a bit more energy overall, I’ve lost a bit of weight, and I think my blood sugars have stabilized as well (it can affect a Diabetic’s blood sugars in both directions so I have to test my blood a little more frequently). I see Dr. Leong again on June 13th so I hope it’s all good news to share with him. It will be the first time in a long time I feel like I have good news to share!!!!  And in other news regarding Dr. Leong, he’s leaving Herald Street Health and moving to Mill Bay, BC, which is up the Malahat Hwy heading towards Nanaimo. He’s offered to keep me and Ray on as patients and I’ve accepted. Ray will just take time from work to drive me to appointments as mostly they should be every couple of months for prescription renewals and my Diabetes checkups, so nothing urgent. Ray will schedule his appointments with mine for the rare times he needs to go, so it should work out fine. Dr. Leong isn’t keeping a lot of his patients, so I feel blessed and honoured that he’s offered to have me stay with him.
Okay…enough of my health…let’s move on to what happened on our Seattle trip. I wanted to quickly say that I met up with my dear Chickie, Carrie Ann and she is just as delightful in person as she is online. We met up with two other lovely online friends from our Bloggess Pals group – a group of ladies who all love Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess.
Megan, Kimmy, Carrie and myself spent a few hours at Starbucks near our hotel, talking and laughing like we’d known each other forever!!!! We had the best time and it was hard to say goodbye.


Carrie then came to Victoria for a week with Ray and I. We went whale watching and shopping and hung out at home watching movies and just had a lovely time together!! I miss her very much. oxoxoxoxox

And how else have I been keeping busy? Why…volunteering of course!!!
I was not able to take part in the “Train the Trainer” course after all. I was having a lot of problems with energy and pain and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to bring my best self to the table, so I canceled with sadness. Fortunately, another opportunity came up for me to help others. I am going to be a Patient Speaker at the Island Health CARE Orientations. These orientations are for people who want to become volunteers just like me. Island Health is the Provincial Health Region I live in. Patient Voices Network is the Provincial Wide organization that I volunteer for. I wanted to make that distinction. I start on Thursday, June 14th by attending a CARE Orientation as an Observer, then attend a 2 hour coaching session in August. Once that’s finished, I’ll be put on the 2018/2019 Speaker Schedule and will speak 2-3 times (possibly more) in the Victoria area.
I continue to sit on the two committees mentioned earlier; the BC Emergency Medicine Network (@BCEmergMedNtwrkand the PVN Oversight & Advisory Committee (@PatientVoicesBC). My partner with the BC ER Medicine Network is Jolaine Cowherd – she and I are busy updating all of the Patient Information Sheets that are provided there. These are the sheets Doctors give you regarding various conditions when you are discharged; what to expect when you leave the hospital, what to do if your condition worsens after leaving the hospital, etc.  These are then approved and uploaded to our network so the information is always kept current. I also designed the sheet that Jolaine and I are using to update the information, as there hadn’t really been anything in place before – I’m not sure there had ever been a review process in place, and that’s why this volunteer position became available.
My role as Co-Chair of the O&A Committee has been a busy and enjoyable one. I’d been working with Ben Ridout, but he has now moved on to a newly created role, more tailored to his overall background, so I have a new partner in crime! Meet Teresa Bissenden! She’s absolutely delightful, as smart as Einstein, adorable as anything and is an amazing facilitator. We have been working together for a couple of months now and as the last thing that Ben and I decided, the main task for Teresa and I was to organize a Face to Face meeting for the O&A Committee. It would be the first meeting for many of us as the term for Committee members is 2 years, and so a great opportunity for Teresa to meet everyone as she starts her new role. So, that’s what we did!
Teresa and I worked on the agenda and then she and her amazing team, including Denise Pinto and Irena Apostu did the hard work of coordinating all the details, including travel, food, etc.  As a Certified Event Planner, I can tell you it is a HUGE job organizing these types of meetings, especially when you have people traveling from all around the province, including very remote locations. Everything was done very well…we all raved about Denise’s choice for lunch…delicious Indian food including fabulous Butter Chicken and Rice, and we all worked extremely hard on our agenda items, to successfully end the day with a finished document to present to the Ministry of Health. It was emotionally draining for me and I admit, I cried at the end when we were going around the circle giving our final thoughts (more about that below).
During our lunch break, I was supposed to be giving an interview to a reporter from a Nanaimo newspaper. He had contacted Teresa as he wanted to talk to a “patient partner” to get their feedback regarding the possibility of having WiFi in the Nanaimo hospital and all hospitals. The interview was scheduled for 12:30, but when we called him, he wasn’t around. His colleague offered to do it, but when I asked him if he knew the subject matter well, he said “not really”, so I said I’d rather do it with Spencer, the original reporter who requested to speak with me. I left my home number and asked for him to phone me this coming Monday (tomorrow) so we’ll see what happens. Not sure why he wasn’t available since he was the one who wanted to talk to me, but we’ll find out tomorrow I guess.
And now it’s time for some funny stuff, some sad stuff and some “you have to laugh about it now” stuff. After the meeting, I was so tired and emotional, I canceled my dinner plans and headed to the airport early (I knew my dear friend Donna would understand and she did). My flight wasn’t until late (10pm) so I realized I’d have a long wait – probably 5 hours, but I was hoping I could find a quiet corner and just rest. I hadn’t slept well the night before and actually not for several days prior, as is normal for me. I was also feeling emotional as I mentioned. The news about Kate Spade’s suicide had made me sad and then finding out that Anthony Bourdain had committed suicide that morning (June 8th) had really upset me. It wasn’t until I was home that I realized all day, in the back of my mind, I was worrying how many of the successful ladies I was with all day were struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts of their own if any. Would I be able to tell? Could I help?
After leaving the offices where the meeting was held, I started walking towards the Skytrain station to catch the train to the airport. I had already checked in for my Westjet flight and printed my boarding pass, and I only had my purse, a small bag, and my walker. It was pouring rain and I was wearing a long sleeve long sweater, just a thin one, but the station is only a few blocks away…I love that convenience of the offices being so close!!!  Except….this time I had a brain fart. My brain somehow thought the station was somewhere else. And I forgot to walk ONE BLOCK and turn right and just kept on walking straight. Did I mention it was pouring? Yes, I did. And I kept walking, thinking to myself, “Self, if you just walk to Burrard and then turn right, go down a couple of blocks, it’s right there”. But Self thought differently, and I turned when I shouldn’t have and then kept on making turns and walking down roads while getting wetter and wetter and more emotional and more emotional until almost 30 or 40 minutes later, Self finally stopped at a Bellhop at a fancy hotel to ask for help, since Pride took a hike a long, LONG time ago. This handsome young man looked at me and asked me if I was okay. Me, with tears in my eyes, replied: “I just need to find the Waterfront station”.
He replied back, very gently and very carefully “it’s right across the street Ma’am. Just go up to the lights, cross at the intersection and enter through the main doors to the elevator”. I’m not sure if he thought I was going to hit him or hug him but at any rate, he stepped back a step, and I just looked at him with tear filled eyes, whispered “thank you” and trudged away, dripping wet. I found the entrance to the station, stopped inside, and then started to sob. Huge tears start falling down my face and now I’m starting to shake. I stood there, just trying to breathe, but more and more tears are falling, so I just let it out of my system…I don’t care who sees me. No one stops but I don’t care. After a few minutes, I feel a bit better so I try to wipe my face with a soggy Kleenex until it falls apart on me. I headed over to the Ticket machine and now I have to figure out how to buy a ticket to the Airport. And I start crying again. Then I spot two Customer Service agents…I walk over to them, still with tears. One of them sees me and with concern asks “may I help you?”. I look at her and then totally lose it.
“I..am…having..a “sniff” …very…”sob”…fifficult..time…”sob”…with..the “sniff” …ticket…ma..ma..”sob”..chine”
Oh, my word. The two of them couldn’t have been nicer or more helpful!!! One of them hugs me and asks if I’m okay. I nod and manage to tell them how I got lost trying to get there and she’s fussing over me and how I’m wet and she’s picking wet Kleenex off of my face and the other is helping me get my ticket and I’m giving her my money and the first one is telling to make sure I get on the YVR train, not the other one and then I’m all set. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without them. Well, I probably could have, but I’m oh, so glad they were there to help. I was so wet and cold and lost and overwhelmed and emotionally overloaded….a breakdown in the Skytrain station is the last thing I needed!!!
So yes, I made it to the airport, found a quiet spot, rested, caught my plane and of course, made it safely home to the arms of my husband!!!
And to finish up this blog post and get you totally up to date, today, June 10th is my wonderful husband Ray‘s birthday!!! I love this man so much!!! We’ve had a wonderful day together…I went for my first motorcycle ride in 2 YEARS with him – only to Denny’s for his birthday lunch but it was a start. He’s done some gardening, I’ve updated all 12 (and more?) of you and he’s in the kitchen, making something wonderful for dinner. Last night, we were at a Slegg work sponsored event at Western Speedway which was great fun!
So my friends…there you go. Everything that’s been going on for the last couple of months or so. As always, I promise to do better at staying up to date. As always, I’ll probably fail. But…I’m never gone forever unless I die. So let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Because now, when I end with my motto like I always do, it’s gonna sound weird.
There is always hope.
ha ha ha…I kill me.
nope…still weird!

Holy Pokey Needle Batman!!!

So…did I mention that on Thursday, I’m having an injection into my right knee to hopefully reduce the pain I feel and help increase my mobility? The injection is called Synvisc-One and it’s described like this (taken from the Canadian website):
Synvisc-One goes to work right where the pain begins!

  • Lubricates and cushions your joint
  • Decreases pain and discomfort associated with osteoarthritis
  • Helps you get back to your daily activities
  • Helps protect your cartilage against certain damage
  • Could delay the need for total knee replacement surgery

The only thing it DOESN’T mention is HOW FRICKING BIG THE NEEDLE IS!!!!!!!!!!!
 
synvisc-one-500x500
Whoooooooo-wee! Well, it’s a good thing that needles don’t bother me. I have no idea if the doctor numbs the area first or not, but I have been told by the Pharmacist that I should stay off my leg for a few days after having the injection done. Sure wish I’d known that sooner…I have my “Train the Trainer” course on Friday.  It’ll be fine…I’ve already confirmed they’ll cover the cost of a taxi there and back (and it’s at the Royal Jubilee hospital, not Victoria General if that’s what I said in yesterday’s post). I’m also going to use my crutches instead of my cane, and they’ll find something I can prop my leg up on. I’ll take a bag lunch instead of buying something and it’s all good.
The only thing left to worry about is this…
KneeShot.jpg
but I’m pretty sure Dr. Winston is fully qualified.
Yeah. Pretty sure.
There is always hope!