Interview April – Sharon Sayler

It’s time to meet our next guest, the wonderful Sharon Sayler. I’ve had the pleasure of being a guest on Sharon’s show and she’s delightful. Let’s hear more:

Sharon Sayler Headshot 2017 Hi-Res

Introduce yourself and tell us a bit about you…

First, thank you, Pamela, for creating an excellent platform for which we have this opportunity to share. I enjoy our mutual understanding that through thoughtful sharing of experiences others in our community know that they are not alone. That feeling of ‘am I the only one?’ can be isolating. Building community and awareness of ways to thrive and optimize our health journey are critical.

I’m Sharon Sayler, MBA, PCC and the founder of Competitive Edge Communications. I’m affectionately called the ‘Difficult People Whisperer’ by my clients. As a speaker and trainer, I teach professionals how to enhance their verbal and nonverbal communication skills to achieve their goals. According to GlobalGurus.org, I’m one of the top five experts in body language in the world.

I am also an international best-selling author of several books. A perennial favorite is ‘What Your Body Says and How to Master the Message: Inspire, Influence, Build Trust and Create Lasting Business Relationships’ (Wiley.) I  am also proud to share. I’ve also authored a best-selling children’s book ‘Pinky Chenille and the Rainbow Hunters’ with a second book in the Pinky Chenille series out soon.

Several years ago, life and work took an unexpected turn to become what my friends now call a “compelling-passion.” With my COURAGE communications techniques combined with my own experience dealing with a rare medical condition, I have been teaching others to become courageous self-advocates. Self-advocacy communication techniques can turn life transitions into transformations.

One of the ways I share the messages of ‘thriving regardless of your diagnosis’ and medical self-empowerment is through The Autoimmune Hour, now #1 show on OMTimes Radio along with the @UnderstandingAutoimmune YouTube channel, and the show’s website UnderstandingAutoimmune.com.

Chronic illness(es)/disabilities I have…

I dislike the word ‘have’ as I prefer my unconscious mind not to take ownership, yet for ease of understanding, the label my experience has is autoimmune more specifically Dermatomyositis. 

Dermatomyositis is a rare inflammatory (autoimmune) disease defined by muscle weakness and a distinctive skin rash. The painful, peeling rash had covered 60% of my body by the time I recovered from the initial ‘flare.’ 

My symptoms/condition began…

Suddenly and not so suddenly.  One morning I woke up after a late night cross-country flight and my legs felt incredibly weak. I had to use my arms to move my legs to stand. Although frightened, this seemed to work itself out over the next few hours. I chalked it up as ‘weird’ and kept working. Feeling tired and achy for the next two weeks, I suddenly broke out in hives that soon covered a large percentage of my body.

I realize now I’d had a variety of symptoms long before this episode that fit a wide range of conditions, and it wasn’t until the distinctive skin rash that a definitive diagnosis was made.

My diagnosis process was…

Bizarre to say the least. I had been seeing a specialist for about a year with her proclaiming a variety of diagnoses that didn’t seem to fit….

The day I walked in with the ‘now peeling distinctive skin rash’ she immediately excused herself and came back 10-minutes later with another doctor who without introduction, pulled out a magnifying glass and looked at various parts of the rash, looked at the first doctor, nodded ‘yes,’ and left the room. The first doctor that I had known for a few years dropped her head and slowly apologized to me for having dermatomyositis.

She could have said supercalifragilisticexpialidocious as the word ‘dermatomyositis’ meant nothing to me. The sad-news-body-language told me, ‘it’s not good.’ After that, the words blended together as I struggled internally to understand what she was saying – it was like my ears had stopped hearing and my brain had ‘frozen.’

We parted ways with an understanding I had to see a rheumatologist. Upon reaching the elevator, I immediately ‘googled’ the word, at which time the shock and grief hit hard.

The hardest part of living with my illness/disabilities is…

Losing perspective. Now, that I’ve been through multiple phases of recovery, I realize the worst part is losing perspective on ‘when is an itch, just an itch.’  The slightest change, the smallest strange pain, anything odd or different begins the mental gymnastics of Do I need to worry about this? What does this mean? Is this so important that I must seek medical attention immediately, can it wait until tomorrow, or what if I just let it run-its-course will I be okay?  And of course, dealing with all the new found food and chemical sensitivities as the body defenses seem to be stuck in hyperdrive make social occasions awkward.

A typical day for me involves…

Everything I used to do that I still want to do. The changes I see are I’m more consistent in choosing to set boundaries, say ‘no’ when I want to, remove myself from others drama and be conscious of my decisions and actions around what I should be doing for overall good health such as quality food, stress reduction, sleep, and exercise.

The one thing I cannot live without is…

Spending time creating joy, especially with my beautiful family and friends. Life is too short — spend it giving and receiving love. (And the irresistible passion I have for doing The Autoimmune Hour podcast and video show.)

Being ill/disabled has taught me…

I don’t consider myself ill or disabled, yet I’ve learned to be more patient and understanding. It’s crystal clear now, the old saying ‘that one can never really know what someone else is going through unless you’ve been there too.” My mantra these days is ‘Come from love. Always.’

What advice would I give someone recently diagnosed…

First, if you can, take time to absorb and sit with the ‘bad news.’ If it’s not immediately life-threatening, don’t make any major life decisions right away.

I remember I was told by a ‘top-notch’ doctor to have a surgery that in my mind would have made my life much worse in the long run, and with no real assurance that it would solve the immediate problem… I felt like they were treating me as if they were working on a car like ‘let’s remove the spark plugs and see if that works better….” Upon finding out that it wasn’t immediately necessary, I thanked them and sought a second opinion. 

That second opinion changed my worldview; the second doctor said, “That’s a surgeon’s answer to a problem they cannot solve.” Wise words that I use everywhere now as in each person/expert/etc. has a specific point of view and the more narrow their expertise, the more narrow their recommendations will probably be.

Always run options through the filter of “What are other ways I can view and solve ‘this?’ Remember, it’s okay to ‘fire’ someone. If someone is upset that I seek a second opinion. I say “Thank you for your time and no thank you.” I like to joke that there are as many varied opinions as there are experts.

Second, be careful how you talk about what you are going through. Our words create our reality. Words such as ‘poor me’ and ‘why me? can create our identity. Consider the word ‘have’ and how it denotes ‘ownership’ Do I want to own my diagnosis? No. I prefer to look at the word ‘have’ from the viewpoint that I can ‘have’ cockroaches, but that doesn’t mean I own them and that I can and will eradicate them. When said enough times your words become truth in your mind, and in the minds others too.

I prefer ‘I am having an autoimmune experience or journey.’ A diagnosis is just a label to chart a possible course based on symptoms and the prognosis is based on statistics — work hard to be on the positive side of the stats. Challenge yours and others’ conclusions on what your future will be. On The Autoimmune Hour, we have numerous stories of people thriving regardless of their diagnosis including Pamela who recently shared her Thriver story: www.UnderstandingAutoimmune.com/Jessen/.

My support system is…

My amazing family and friends as well as a team of medical professionals that are in alignment with, or at least, honor my view of ‘my body, my decision.’  And the UnderstandingAutoimmune’s Courage Club Community that is growing every day through the podcast and website.

If I had one-day symptom/disability-free, I would…

Hmmm, I don’t know. I’m finding ways to live fully and thrive regardless of my diagnosis. Maybe eat a whole loaf of fresh baked crusty bread slathered in homemade butter and raw honey at a quaint Parisian cafe!

One positive of having a chronic illness/disability is… 

A deeper appreciation of the quality and value of all life.

My social media links are:

The show can be heard on a major podcast outlets such as OMTimes Radio, Spreaker, iTunes, YouTube and iHeart Radio.

https://www.facebook.com/UnderstandingAutoimmune/

https://www.facebook.com/AutoimmuneHour/

www.UnderstandingAutoimmune.com/OMTimes

www.UnderstandingAutoimmune.com/YouTube

www.UnderstandingAutoimmune.com/Spreaker

Instagram: autoimmunehour  and understandingautoimmune

Twitter: @autoimmunehour

Advertisements

Refresher Course

I thought I’d start out the year with a refresher course on the conditions I live with and how blogging has had such an impact in my life. Because of my blogging, I have had chances to be interviewed in a Canadian National newspaper, on two different podcasts, and several different articles online. The various conditions I write about are because of the fact I live with them and am personally acquainted with them. So, without further ado, here we go:

  • Chronic Pain
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Fibromyalgia / Myofascial Pain
  • Osteoarthritis (in all my major joints)
  • Forestier’s Disease (aka D.I.S.H.)
  • Type 2 Diabetes (on insulin)
  • Trigeminal Neuralgia
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Gastroparesis
  • Internal Adhesions/Scar Tissue/Chronic Pelvic Pain
  • Hypothyroidism

So I’ve talked about my Chronic Pain from Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, and when I say I have arthritis in all my major joints, I’m serious. I have it in my shoulders, elbows, wrists and fingers, my cervical, thoracic and lumbar spine, left hip (right hip has been replaced), knees, ankles and toes. Some areas like my left hip and right knee are quite serious and will need replacing, but the rest I’ll have to live with.

Meanwhile, my thoracic spine has a different type of bone condition called Forestier’s Disease or D.I.S.H., which stands for Diffuse (Widespread) Idiopathic (Of Unknown Cause) Skeletal (Referring to the Skeleton) Hyperostosis (Excessive Growth of Bone). It forms in the shape of a bone spur, but instead of a normal spur that could be removed, it looks more like melted candle wax on the spine, so nothing can be done about it.

Diffuse-idiopathic-skeletal-hyperostosis-DISH-of-the-spine-grave-290-male-50-60-yrs

I also have regular bone spurs on my right hand – I had one removed from inside my pointer finger as it grew through a tendon, and there is a second one on the outside of my middle finger growing through the knuckle. Both have been very painful and interfere(d) with typing and writing.

My Type 2 Diabetes has been with me for 8 years now and is mostly under control. I go for regular blood tests every 3 months, to get my A1C numbers that show my average blood sugar levels for the previous 3 months. Generally speaking, I average around 6.9 to 7.2 which is slightly higher than the 5.9 – 6.2 my doctor would like, but I do my best. I use long acting insulin at night, 14 units which does a good job at helping to keep things under control. I’m trying to eat better, but I’m a sucker for sweets and it’s hard to be disciplined.

My Trigeminal Neuralgia is something I’ve talked about before so you can read the article about it here.  The same goes for my Bipolar Disorder.

So, what else is on that list. Ah yes, the ever lovely Gastroparesis

what-is-gastroparesis

Now, the way they determine if you have this or not is through something called a motility test. In my case, they wanted me off ALL of my meds first to make sure they weren’t contributing to the problem, so for 2 days prior to my test I had to quit my medications cold turkey. That included my meds for Fibromyalgia, my anti-psychotics AND my opioid narcotic for pain. Do you have any idea what going through withdrawal is like? It was horrendous. I had the shakes, the runs, I couldn’t eat or sleep, and for those 2 days, I alternated between thinking I was dying and wanting to die to having to feel better in order to die.

On the day of the test, I went to the hospital to where the Nuclear testing is done. I knew that I was going to be eating an egg sandwich with a radioactive tracer in it and that tracer would be monitored through a series of special x-rays, but I explained to the nurse that everything I ate was immediately running right through me like water. She was so sweet…she “reserved” me a private bathroom, brought me my sandwich and told me to eat as much as I could while I sat there. Talk about embarrassing!!! It’s embarrassing writing about it!!! But, I managed just over 3/4’s of it, which she said was enough. She brought me into the x-ray room where there was a gurney to lay on, and then gave me a warm blanket.

The first pictures were taken every 2 minutes, so I just sat. Then they took them every 5 minutes apart, then 10 minutes apart, then 15, then 30 and finally 2 pictures 1 hour apart each. In between, I slept on the gurney, and my nurse brought me as many warm blankets as I wanted. She also brought me a cold wet face cloth for my forehead. When it was all over, I gave her a big hug and thanked her for being so kind. Then I took my medications asap!!!!

The tests showed that I have a moderate degree of low motility so my food sits in my stomach for a long period of time before moving on to the intestines. This explains why I always look bloated and pregnant. There are medications that can be taken, but I’ve asked my doctor if we can just hold off and wait on that for now. This is more of an inconvenience than anything right now, and I just don’t want any more drugs in my system than I absolutely need. If the problem becomes hugely bothersome, we’ll revisit it, but in the meantime, I’ll just try to watch what I eat, drink more water and try to exercise a bit more.

The Internal Pelvic pain is because I have had a number of pelvic surgeries over the years, so there is a lot of internal scar tissue left over that has attached itself to things like my bladder and bowel, etc. There are occasions when I move a certain way, and those adhesions stretch very painfully – it feels like velcro being ripped apart except it’s my body doing the ripping. It takes my breath away sometimes, it’s so painful, but it only lasts for a minute or two, then it’s gone.

Which leads to Hypothyroidism. For a long time, I assumed that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was the only reason for my constant exhaustion, as my Thyroid numbers always came back normal on blood tests done every three months. One day though, my thyroid went rogue and those numbers were crazy. I had been especially tired…like dragging my ass tired, needed toothpicks to keep my eyes open tired

DraggingMyButt

Oohhh, that is NOT a good look on me!!! My doctor put me on meds and I could feel a difference in a very short period of time. On my next 3 month course of blood work, everything was back to normal, so now I take Synthroid on a daily basis for the rest of my life, to ensure I have a properly working system. So glad that was an easy fix!!

So there you have it. It’s a tough road to walk, I have to be honest. I live with pain 24/7 and have for almost 30 years now. Suffice it to say that you have to be mighty strong to live like this, to get through the day-to-day of actually living in pain. I know some people who just couldn’t. They tried so, so hard, but in the end, their pain was too much for them, and they took their own lives.

I’m a huge advocate for assisted suicide for people who live with severe, intractable pain. We take better care of our pets when they are hurting than we do our humans, and I think that is just plain wrong. I believe every human has the right to choose to die with dignity and I’m glad our Government has come on board with this. I know it’s not perfect, but at least things have started and that’s the main thing.

One thing having all these conditions HAS done though is that it’s given me a platform to blog about them and to discuss them as a Patient Partner in my volunteer work. I live in Langford, BC Canada and I belong to an organization called Patient Voices Network. They help take the voice of the patient and partner us with Heath Care Organizations who need Patient Advocates for the work that they are doing. I’ve been involved in committee work, focus groups, conferences, quality assurance forums, seminars and more because of PVN. The educational experience I’ve received is on par to anything I attended in my working life and in fact, when I attend anything in their offices in Vancouver now, it’s like being greeted by family – I know everyone and they all know me, I’ve been there so often for meetings.

I currently sit on 4 different committees: I am a member of the PVN Oversight & Advisory Committee, I currently sit on the Clinical Resource Committee for the BC Emergency Physicians Network , and I accepted a role with the Laboratory Quality Council Committee. We are responsible for all Labs on Vancouver Island as well as all Medical Blood Collection Stations.

Most recently, I took on a new role as committee member on the Measurement System for Physician Quality Improvement- Surgical Group. I am surrounded by top surgeons in Cardiac Care, Orthopedics and Neurology, plus high-ranking members from the Ministry of Health, the BC Patient Safety & Quality Council and other Health Organizations – and then there’s me. The lone patient voice to represent the masses. It’s a huge responsibility and one I take very seriously. I’ve already spoken out to let them know that while they see quality one way, I as a patient see it differently, and I expect my voice to be heard. It was empowering to have them tell me that I am the whole reason the others are there, because it’s all about the patient in the end.

So all this adds up to some pretty amazing experiences for me because of the pretty extraordinary pain that I live with on a daily basis. I have been truly blessed in my life, and I’m fortunate to be able to share it with you, my Dear Readers. Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope to bring you more articles this year about Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia and other Invisible Illnesses. And remember…

There is always hope

Ending The Year

It’s December 29th and the year is drawing to a close. I want to take this time to simply recap the year and say thank you to my Dear Readers for spending your time with me in 2018.

From the beginning of the year, when I really got started blogging, I started out by writing Happy New Year .  My main theme at that time was to talk about my hip replacement surgery which was the real reason this blog came into existance. I had been searching for personal stories of “younger” women who had undergone hip replacements but hadn’t found much, so I thought I’d share my story for others who might find it helpful for themselves. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was writing about my other health issues, including Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue and Invisible Illnesses.

I’ve had the opportunity to share my thoughts about body image, intimacy when you live with Chronic Pain, the sleeplessness that comes with Fibromyalgia and Invisible Illnesss, and how the simple loss of bathing can mean so much heartache. On the other hand, I’ve been able to share about gratitude and finding joy on more than one occasion, so I’ve tried to focus on the positives as much as possible, whenever possible.

I couldn’t do this without you. Without my Dear Readers, there wouldn’t be much sense in putting this out there, so I appreciate each and every one of you who comes to my blog and reads what I have to say. You may not comment on every post, heck…you may never comment on a post I write, but the numbers don’t lie. My stats show that you are there and that you keep coming back. In fact, when I took a week off and didn’t do a thing to market the blog…no Pinterest, no Twitter, no Social Media at all, the numbers dropped, but a bunch of you still came by to see if there was anything new.

Screen Shot 2018-11-29 at 3.47.10 PM

You can see where I was away for the week. On Nov. 15th and 16th, I was in Vancouver for a volunteer meeting, and away from my computer the whole time. When I put the effort in, you do the same and come back to see what’s new…the numbers don’t lie, and I am forever grateful.

So, to wrap up 2018, I want to say thank you. You’ve helped me reach a far greater level of success than I ever thought I’d make, simply because you like to read my thoughts. That’s pretty amazing to me. I just want to provide as much information as I can to anyone who is living with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue or Invisible Illness. I want you to know you’re not alone. I’m right there with you and for as long as I’m able, I will continue to write and bring you articles and information to help you thrive.

I wish each and every one of you a very Happy New Year. May you be blessed in 2019 with the very best the year can offer. Remember…

There is always hope

A New Piece Published!

Wow!
I’ve just had a new piece of writing published on the Pain News Network as a guest columnist. I wanted to write about how we grieve when we lose so much of our lives to a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, MS, Ehler-Danlos, Lupus and other Invisible Illnesses.
Now, I saw information about the Pain News Network on the blog of someone I follow. I looked them up and saw that they accept articles from guest writers. I contacted the Editor to see what the requirements were and he told me that basically anything to do with real life and pain, as long as it hadn’t been previously published. So I sat down, thought for a few minutes and literally banged this out. He thought it was good enough and voíla, it was done!
Here is the link, and I would love your thoughts about it in the comments below. I guess I’ll have to update my “I’ve been published” section…this is my first publication outside of The Mighty!!!
I’m so excited and I’m really damn proud of myself!
https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/8/8/grieving-a-former-life
There is always hope!