Chronic Pain And Addictions

I want to talk about a difficult subject today…Chronic Pain and Addictions. When you live with Chronic Pain, you can find yourself spiraling in a dark hole. Sometimes depression becomes as big of a problem as the physical pain you live with, and in a desperate need to feel better, you find yourself turning to your medications too often, or you resort to drinking or eating as a way of filling the gap.

Addiction is easy to fall into, as often, you are not receiving adequate treatment for your pain to begin with. You find yourself taking your medictions sooner than directed, or you take more than recommended and then suddenly, you’re in withdrawal at the end of the month when your prescription has run out.

Instead of abusing your pain medications, you may turn to alcohol to increase the “buzz”, or food may become the drug of your choice. “Anything to dampen the pain” is what you might be thinking, and sometimes, it works. Other times, it feels like nothing can fill the unending gulf of pain you live with and so your depression deepens and you’re left feeling worthless. Thoughts of suicide may plague you but you resist telling others for fear they will see you as weak.

Let’s examine this problems in more detail.

Medications

Opioid abuse is an epidemic in the United States. In 2016, approximately 11.5 million Americans 12 years and older misused opioid pain medications, and 1.8 million had a substance use disorder involving prescription pain medications. From 2000 to 2015, more than 500,000 persons died from opioid overdoses, with deaths generally increasing as prescription opioid sales increased. In 2012, clinicians wrote 259 million prescriptions for opioids, enough for every U.S. adult.*

Chronic Pain and Addictions

There are a variety of medications that are used in the treatment of Chronic Pain. As you probably know, there is a current push from to cut back on Opioids like Oxycodone and Hydrocodone because of perceived over-prescribing and the number of deaths linked to the mis-use of Opioids. The number of deaths from illegal Fentynal overdoses has increased dramatically, yet the people who actually require the drug for their Chronic Pain are being turned away by their physicians or are having their dosages cut back significantly.

PreGabalin, Gabapentin, and mixed drugs like Tramacet (Tramadol and Acetaminophen) are now being used more frequently, but not always to great benefit. This is one of the reasons the use of illegal Fentynal is increasing – people aren’t getting adequate relief from their doctor-prescribed medications and so they’re looking to the streets for solutions.

Alcohol

Throughout the ages, people have used alcohol to manage their pain. A swig of whiskey after a bullet wound in the old Westerns, or to numb the pain of a teething baby are two minor examples. A study done recently showed that 28% of people with Chronic Pain used alcohol to help control their pain**

Chronic Pain and Addictions

Although alcohol has been shown to reduce pain, it’s a temporary solution and has potential and possible fatal risks. When you drink, you are more likely to abuse your prescription medications, resulting in furthering the sedative effects of both. You also increase the possibility of liver damage or gastric bleeding. Using alcohol as a pain medication often ends up with exceeding the recommended amount that you should drink and overdose of alcohol and/or prescription medications can be fatal.

Other points to note:

  • Withdrawal from chronic alcohol use often increases pain sensitivity which could motivate some people to continue drinking or even increase their drinking to reverse withdrawal-related increases in pain.
  • Prolonged, excessive alcohol exposure generates a painful small fiber peripheral neuropathy, the most common neurologic complication associated with alcoholism.

Food

When a person is unable to control the amount of pain they live with, they may turn to food instead, as a way of finding relief. It doesn’t take away the pain, but satiating yourself gives back the illusion of that control that you’ve lost elsewhere. Anorexia and bingeing/purging become huge risks and lead to further medical problems.

Chronic Pain and Addiction

Anorexia is the elimination of food from the diet, until your calorie intake is grossly under the recommended daily allowance for health. It is a psychological and potentially life-threatening eating disorder.

There are a multitude of health risks involved including mood swings, low blood pressure, heart problems, kidney and liver issues, loss of bone density and the very real possibility of death.

Bingeing and purging causes issues such as gastric problems, dental issues from vomiting and bile wearing at the teeth and gums, dehydration and depression issues. The use of excessive laxatives is hard on your bowels and runs the risk of chronic constipation, resulting in a Catch-22 of needing to use more laxatives to alleviate the constipation.

Excessive Exercise is another form of purging. By engaging in obscene amounts of exercise, you expose yourself to potential damage to your joints from overuse, dehydration, weakness and potential heart issues.

Other Addictions

Other addictions to be careful about including smoking, gambling, shopping and sex although I’m sure you can think of even more. Each of these excessive behaviours can lead to damaging consequences so it’s imporant to be aware of them. When you live with Chronic Pain, you can have an “all or nothing” mentality – you simply want to do anything that will help you focus on something other than hurting.

What Next?

The first step to any of these issues is to accept that you have a problem. Professional help is required to allow you to wean off of the drugs or alcohol, or to start a healthy relationship with food.

Support groups are available both in person and online and are highly recommended. To be with people who have gone through the same experiences as you have can be very comforting.

A Pain Management program may be suggested to help you get to the root of your problems, and to help you find solutions to managing your pain more effectively.

Talk to your family physician to start. Now is the time to be honest about what you’ve been going through and how you’ve been coping (or not coping). Accept that seeing a counsellor on a regular basis may be a requirement for your success. Having a safe place to talk goes a long way in setting goals for yourself and achieving them.

Ask about specific books that may help you understand Chronic Pain more completely. Knowledge is power.

Finally, realize that you are not a bad person. You may have made some bad choices, but recognizing them and changing them is what’s important. We all make mistakes, and even if you think you’re the worst person in the world…you’re not. You have value and worth and are deserving of the best care possible. Remember,

There Is Always Hope

*https://www.aafp.org/afp/2018/0301/p313.html
**https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/PainFactsheet/painFact.htm

chronic pain and addictions

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It’s Okay To Be Angry About Chronic Illness (I Am!)

Note: This post contains Affiliate Links which pay me a small percentage of your purchase price at no cost to you.

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Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

The Beginning

I want to tackle a hard subject today…the emotions that surround living with a Chronic Illness. Every day, we survive the physical pain, but we don’t always talk about the emotional pain that comes with being ill. Let’s change that now. 

When I first started feeling the effects of Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis along with my other Chronic Illnesses, I was generally able to function without a lot of changes in my life. I needed some pain medication but found that it helped and didn’t really alter my life, so ended up having some fairly easy years after my initial diagnosis. 

After a period of time, the medication needed to be increased and new drugs had to be introduced to help combat the increasing pain and symptoms. I started taking Lyrica for my Fibro  – a drug that saw me gain 40lbs in 3 months. This is when I first realized that having Chronic Illness was affecting me mentally – I was pissed about the weight gain but resigned to the fact I’d have to live with it. Thankfully my doctor worked with me to find Cymbalta instead and I managed to lose most of the weight I had gained. 

Thus began a pattern where the drugs would work for a while and then lose their effectiveness, necessitating an increase or change in meds, which triggered more anger and emotion. It was a vicious circle…I just wanted to be rid of the pain I was in, but it was getting harder and harder. The side effects of the various meds being introduced were also debilitating and my anger grew at what my body was putting me through. 

As Things Changed

Then came the point where my body had become so broken down that I needed to leave my job and go on long term disability. I can still remember to this day, 10 years later, how incredibly disappointed in myself I was. My body had betrayed me in every way possible. I was at the top of my career with the opportunity to move into some dream roles and suddenly that was all snatched away from me. Devastated doesn’t even begin to come close to how I felt and I ended up in a depression that was hard to come back from. 

It took me a long time to realize that my feelings were valid and I was entitled to feel how I felt. I thought I had to suck it up for everyone around me, and that just wasn’t a place I was ready for. I hadn’t processed my emotions, and they felt just as raw a year later as they had when I first left work. It was only through taking some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) classes that I started to see how I could validate my feelings yet work through them and come out stronger. 

Having these strong emotions was scary though because I couldn’t separate them at first from the actions of being in pain, and just feeling like a failure as a person. It took time to realize that I had not failed, but my body had. Two very different things. By recognizing the difference, I was able to start accepting that I was not a bad person and that I had done nothing to cause this to happen.

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Image by Sarah Lötscher from Pixabay 

It’s Not Your Fault

I didn’t ask for Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue. I was simply unlucky enough to be a person to have to live with these conditions and that meant I had to find a healthier way of dealing with the emotions this generated. I was not unreliable, my health caused my reliability to suffer. My worth was not just because of my job, but by virtue of simply being here. I was still a good person who had something bad happen to her. 

Do you see where I’m coming from and what I’m trying to say? Just because you have a Chronic Illness doesn’t make you a bad person. This condition has happened to you and changed you, against your will. Learning how to live with it becomes the new normal. Once I recognized this, I was able to take a step back and start taking my life back again. 

Making Changes

I worked with my doctor to find a treatment plan that benefited me. This included some medication changes and additions, as well as adding healthy new components to my life such as meditation, music therapy, gentle exercise, stretching, beginners yoga and balancing my eating habits. I stopped feeling guilty when I had to cancel or change plans because Illness took over. I couldn’t help it when those things happened, so why blame myself? I put the blame where it belonged…on my Illnesses, and left it there. 

I was blessed to be able to start this blog, so I could reach out to others with Chronic Pain conditions and help them navigate their way through their experiences. It was very empowering for me and I gained back huge amounts of confidence as I wrote articles and posts. Knowing I was reaching others and actually helping them was a huge confidence booster. 

I also found myself able to start volunteering again, and now sit on 4 different committees, all devoted to aspects of health care. I am a member of a Provincial Measurement Working Group, creating a survey for patients in BC, Canada about their ER experiences. I continue to seek out new opportunities to volunteer and was recently nominated for two WEGO Health Awards – one for Best in Show: Blog and one for Best Kept Secret (regarding my blog). You can click here for more information about my nominations. 

To wrap this up, I want to reiterate that I think it’s important to sit with your feelings on a regular basis when you live with Chronic Illness. If you need the help of a professional therapist to process what you’re going through, do it. There’s no shame and definitely no harm in learning how to deal with all the emotions that come with a Chronic condition. In fact, I highly recommend it as a part of your overall treatment plan. 

We go through so much on a daily basis that the notion we’re not affected emotionally is ludicrous. Don’t fall into the trap of being “stoic” and taking the attitude that you can handle things on your own if you truly can’t. Reach out for help, whether it be a professional, a friend, or a spiritual advisor. The peace of mind of knowing you’re not alone in your feelings is precious. And remember…

There Is Always Hope

 

 

How Myofascial Therapies Helped Relieve My Fibromyalgia Symptoms

Today’s post is from my dear friend Michelle at the Zebra Pit. She’s sharing information about Myofascial Therapies and how they relieve the symptoms of Fibromyalgia. Read on!

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Fibromyalgia is a complex condition that often comes with a plethora of symptoms that can be confusing. Fibromites live with constant pain and for many even a gentle, caring pat on the hand can become unbearably painful.  Fibromyalgia is a common comorbid condition to many chronic illnesses, yet doctors often have no idea how to treat our many symptoms. Could it be the biggest culprit in our widespread pain and the formation of our tender points is a little known bit of connective tissue known as fascia.

Fascia and Myofascial Dysfunction

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Fascia is a network of thin connective tissue that runs throughout our bodies in bands and sheets. It is the tissue that helps keep everything in place and is comprised mostly of collagen. It wraps our organs, muscle and bone, creating dividing lines, holding the perfect position for our organs, while keeping our muscles and joints in proper alignment. Because fascia holds the body together and keeps everything in place, it is responsible for the body’s shape and form.

Just like tendons and ligaments, this connective soft tissue can become dysfunctional. Unlike these other soft tissues, the fascia is connected with the autonomic nervous system and some believe it to be a second, separate nervous and endocrine system, based on study findings. When myofascial tissues become dysfunctional, there are a number of things that can go wrong with the fascia, creating a scar tissue that is generally referred to as myofascial adhesions. This may be caused by mechanical or chemical failure or injury to the body.

The worse this dysfunction becomes, the greater the pain and number of myofascial adhesions. If you have myofascial adhesions, you can sometimes feel them as lumps when you run your hand firmly over your skin. Often, they are sore and painful even when using a light touch. These adhesions can also cause small fatty tumors to form. These fat deposits, along with the way fascia pull on the skin can dimple the skin, causing cellulite.

Myofascial dysfunction can be localized or widespread. If you develop tennis elbow (tendonitis), you might just develop myofascial adhesions around the injury. This is why you sometimes still experience pain even after an injury has healed. It could also grow and become widespread, as this interconnected network of tensile fibers tends to interact heavily. When fascia bunches up around one joint in order to protect it, it sometimes pulls other areas of our fascia out of alignment.

My myofascial problems ran from head to toe, causing awful tension headaches that also helped to feed my migraines, small fiber neuropathy throughout my hands and feet, 14 tender points with widespread pain and my fascia had become so tight that it was actually pulling some of my joints out of position. Neither my right hip nor shoulder would stay in place any longer.  Not only that, my myofascial tissue had grown so dense about my skull that it actually inhibited my natural hair growth and I feared I was going bald. I also had the “family curse” of cellulite and varicose veins on my arms and legs. I had regular TMJD pain and my hands were so tender, I couldn’t even knock on a door without bringing tears to my eyes. I also had tremors, it took twice the amount of time for me to go numb at the dentists, and I was constantly freezing, because my fascia were cutting off some of the blood flow and circulation to my skin.

How Myofascial Massage Helps

Fascia Head
In the 3 years I’ve been doing myofascial massage, I haven’t needed a pain medication stronger than toradol to treat my fibromyalgia pain. My head pain is at an all-time low despite suspected CCI and chiari. While my small fiber neuropathy isn’t completely gone at this point, it’s at an all time low and rarely causes issues. All of my joints function more normally and I spend a lot less time dealing with dislocations and subluxations. My hair and eyebrows are now thick and healthy. I rarely have problems with tremors anymore and even my POTS symptoms improved. I’m no longer quite so intolerant of heat or changes to the atmosphere. I have an abundance of hair and my eyebrows have grown in much thicker, too.

The traditional medicine model of pills and surgery offer poor solutions for these symptoms, but there are a number of myofascial treatments available that could improve your symptoms significantly. These therapies can be done in the comfort and privacy of your own home and there are several kinds of myofascial therapy you can have done professionally.

Each of these therapies work a little bit differently, but the long-term results are still largely the same. Each of these tools seeks to destroy any overgrown fascia and help to restore the myofascial lines to a healthy state. It is not always easy work. Some of the tools require a bit more oomph than others and the toxin release can be significant, as can the bruising. It’s worth it. The relief is greater than any of the drawbacks.

Today’s Options for Myofascial Therapy

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Ashley Black Guru has a number of myofascial tools which are very effective. Her videos and book are a great way to learn about how fascia functions, along with some great techniques. While it’s one of the most strenuous forms of myofascial massage, it’s still one I recommend highly. Since you have to put a little grit into it, it will help to build up stamina, strength and new muscle. This is essential to maintaining healthy joints and fascia as your body heals. Black’s methods and tools are highly effective and you can’t go wrong with her tools, though I recommend you go slow and be as gentle as possible. These tools are self-driven so you can control how hard and fast to go, how often to blast and find the best routine to suit your needs. If you need help choosing which tools are right for your specific issues, take a look at my FasciaBlaster Buying Guide.

Ultra Cavitat

An ultra cavitation machine is a handheld personal use version of ultrasound, which is used to help break up myofascial adhesions and release toxins, along with far infrared light to facilitate in healing. It’s deceptively simple to use, but very powerful. After only 4 sessions, my cellulite has decreased so dramatically, I don’t even recognize my own legs anymore. It’s amazing how something that seems so gentle can mold such terrain so dramatically. It’s also an easier, more leisurely tool to use. The pace of this tool is slow and provides a gentle touch, so there’s no pain involved.

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Cupping is another form of myofascial therapy you can opt for. In this therapy, bell like cups are applied to the skin and heat is used to create a vacuum within the cup. The suction helps to pull and release the overgrown fascia. I’ve heard good things about it from others with fibromyalgia and EDS. Cupping can be a passive form of self guided myofascial therapy, but you can also get this treatment done professionally.

Along with cupping, ASTYM is provided as a professional medical service. According to the website, ASTYM regenerates healing by eliminating scar tissue and helps to regenerate new, healthy tissue. The claim about this therapy is that it is very restorative and powerful, but they don’t share how they actually accomplish the therapy itself.

Ultra Cavitation can also be done professionally and may be more effective than self-use tools available on the market. The ultra cavitation is marketed as a tool for beauty, as it works well to create slimming, contouring and weightloss. In fact, all of these tools are marketed for their cosmetic benefits and I’ve certainly reaped my fair share of aesthetic benefits from using these tools. It isn’t my main concern, but it can be a good motivator. I’ve lost over 50 pounds while fasciablasting; a feat that seemed impossible for me due to lipedema. I’ve also really enjoyed the tightening effects on the only thing that reveals my age; my turkey neck.

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It’s also possible to have a massage therapist do your myofascial treatments utilizing your own FasciaBlaster. The number of MT’s using the fasciablaster is small but growing. Many who don’t know also seem quite willing to learn about it and you can really benefit from their knowedge and experience. The best blasting session I ever had was from a licensed MT.

Performing Myofascial Therapy Safely

With all the services and self-use tools available, it seems like there’s a myofascial therapy that’s right for almost everyone: However, it’s important to note that myofascial therapy isn’t for everyone. If you have a blood clotting disorder, take blood thinners or have a vascular disorder such as vEDS, you should not undergo myofascial therapy. Like all therapies, whether doing a self-use tool or seeing a professional, be sure to consult with your medical team to ensure it’s safe for you first. 

Safety should always be paramount when choosing a therapy for your health. Time to carefully research how to perform these treatments should be taken prior to beginning myofascial work. The risk of injury is greater if you don’t know what to watch out for and it’s easy to abuse such a tool, causing severe bruising, fatigue, toxic overload, injury or other problems. These tools need to be used only as recommended, for no longer than the specified time stated for each tool.

People with fibromyalgia and other health problems need to take these therapies very slowly. It is not unlikely that myofascial therapy will be a bit of a shock to the system, so it’s essential to ease your way in. It is possible to make yourself very sick from detox and overdoing it, causing fatigue and even a flare up in your conditions. To avoid this, start slowly and use these tools more gently than recommended. For pacing, I recommend people begin with one body part (a leg) or section (the abdominals) a day and work their way up to more based on tolerance. Take days off in between if your body is struggling with payback. To get more tips on safety and proper usage, take a look at 23 Tips for FasciaBlasting with EDS and Fibromyalgia.

Myofascial therapy may not be for everyone, but for those of us suffering with the daily pain and other debilitating symptoms of fibromyalgia, it can offer significant relief from our daily symptoms. It can even eliminate some of those terrible tender points which develop and are a criterion for diagnosis. As of today, I am down to only five; so few I no longer qualify for the diagnosis. Myofascial therapy may not address your every symptom, but since I’ve begun utilizing it, my life has been a lot more comfortable and I now enjoy many more symptom-free days.

Resources and Further Reading:

BIO:

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Michelle Curtis is a poet and writer with hEDS, POTS and MCAS. She is managing editor for the Zebra Pit where she writes about spoonie health and wellness, as well as art and culture. She has a BA in women, gender and sexuality studies from BGSU and an MFA in creative writing from NU. She lives in greater Cincinnati with her husband David and two Russian Blue cats. She thoroughly enjoys spending time with her family and friends. In her spare time she enjoys books, movies, art, music and the great outdoors (even when her MCAS doesn’t). 

10 Celebrities Who Live With Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is a condition that affects millions of people in North America. While typically thought of as an “everyday person”s condition, there are a number of celebrities who live with Fibromyalgia who have talked about it in public. It’s helpful to know we’re not alone, and because of these people, Fibromyalgia is starting to gain more recognition.

Here is a list of 10 Celebrities who live with Fibromyalgia.

Lady Gaga

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Lady Gaga is perhaps the most well-known celebrity with Fibromyalgia. After struggling with chronic pain for many years, she confirmed in September 2017 that the cause of her pain was fibromyalgia.

In her Netflix documentary “Gaga: Five Foot Two,” released on September 22/18, Gaga opened up about the challenges of finding treatments and coping techniques to help manage her symptoms. She is seen using ice packs and trying deep massage and dry needling as ways to help manage the pain.

“I am praying that more and more people come forward and we can all share what helps/hurts so we can help each other” Gaga said in a recent tweet.

Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman Best Movies and TV Shows

Morgan Freeman is the actor best known for roles in The Shawshank Redemption, The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and for winning an Academy Award for his role as a beaten up cornerman for Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby.

In 2008, Morgan Freeman was involved in a car crash that left him with multiple injuries, including a shattered left arm. He went through a 4-hour long surgery to save his arm and has talked in several interviews since he continues to experience “excruciating” nerve pain and now lives with fibromyalgia.

In 2015 he told The Daily Beast he treats the pain with marijuana. “Marijuana has many useful uses,” he says. “I have fibromyalgia pain in this arm, and the only thing that offers any relief is marijuana”.

Lena Dunham

Though she had previously been vocal about her struggles with endometriosis and chronic pain, Lena Dunham revealed in an Instagram post in October of 2018 that she has fibromyalgia. She described what it’s like to have an “invisible” illness like fibro, writing, “I appear to be totally able-bodied but it’s complex, and I am just trying to do everything required to maintain a life of joy and service. My work costs everything I have. This is fibromyalgia. It’s little understood and so even though I have a lot of knowledge and support it’s hard to shake the feeling I am crazy. But I’m not (at least not this way!) and you’re not.”

Dunham continued to say that pain, however it presents — whether it has a visible culprit or not — is valid. She wrote, “Your pain, whatever shape it takes, is yours and so it is real. I believe you when you say you hurt. I have learned time and time again how important it is to believe.”

Sinead O’Connor


Sinead O’Connor is an Irish singer-songwriter who stepped away from music in 2003 because she was struggling with fibromyalgia and wanted to take care of her children.

“Fibromyalgia is not curable. But it’s manageable,” O’Connor said in a 2005 interview with HOTPRESS. “I have a high pain threshold, so that helps – it’s the tiredness part that I have difficulty with. You get to know your patterns and limits, though, so you can work and plan around it. It is made worse, obviously, by stress. So you have to try to keep life quiet and peaceful.”

Sinead returned to the music scene in 2005. Despite numerous setbacks, she said she hopes to continue singing and doing what she loves but stays away from the parts that cause her excessive stress, which can exacerbate fibromyalgia symptoms.

Mary McDonough

“The Waltons” actress Mary McDonough has been very open about her battles with fibromyalgia, lupus and Sjogren’s syndrome. She believes she developed the conditions after having an adverse reaction to breast implants she had inserted in an effort to reinvent herself following the series’ end.

“Within 24 hours I broke out into a rash all over my back and my chest,” McDonough told Smashing Interviews Magazine. “But over the course of the 10 years, I just couldn’t put my finger on that. I just didn’t feel right. The chronic fatigue set in, the rashes, the rash across my nose and the bridge of my face which we now know is like a lupus rash, the joint pain, the muscle stiffness, eventually being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and then the collagen disorder called Sjogren’s syndrome, my hair fell out and I would be tired all of the time.”

McDonough is now a public speaker, author and workshop leader, often talking with young women about their struggles with body image and self-esteem.

Kyle Richards

“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star Kyle Richards said she first became sick while her mom was sick with cancer, but was initially told she was depressed because her mom had passed. 

A friend told her she might have fibromyalgia, so she went to a doctor who specializes in the condition who confirmed her diagnosis. “All of a sudden I felt like I had an answer and I felt better because it causes so much anxiety [not knowing],” Richards said.

Richards has since sought out alternative methods for treating her fibromyalgia pain — on “The Healer,” she worked with Charlie Goldsmith, an “energy healer” who aims to help people reduce their chronic pain.

Janeane Garofalo

Actress and comedian Janeane Garofalo has been very open throughout her career about her struggles with fibromyalgia as well as mental and emotional issues, including anxiety and depression. She has even incorporated her fibro into her stand-up routine, using humour and laughter to cope with the pain she experiences.

“I had no idea I was chronically dissatisfied,” she said about being prescribed an antidepressant for her fibromyalgia.

Michael James Hastings

Michael James Hastings, known for his role as Captain Mike on “The West Wing,” had to retire from being a school teacher at age 35 due to fibromyalgia. It was his chronic pain that led him to move to Los Angeles to pursue a part-time acting career.

Hastings has said that he copes with the symptoms of fibro with natural means, such as supplements, exercise, massage therapy, acupuncture and visits to the chiropractor.

“I also have learned to accept that some days I am not going to be able to keep up with my schedule or other peoples’ schedules and I just need to rest and ‘lighten up,’” he said in an interview with the website Back Pain Relief.

A.J. Langer

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Actress A.J. Langer, best known for her role on “My So-Called Life,” “Seinfeld” and “Three Sisters,” was diagnosed with fibromyalgia as a teenager but continued to pursue acting. After filming “Three Sisters,” Langer took a break to figure out how to manage her symptoms and put her health first. She has experimented with a number of alternative therapies to help her cope with fibromyalgia, including surfing, yoga and meditation.

In an episode of the Aches and Gains podcast with Dr. Paul Christo, Langer said, “There are different levels of learning you go through with fibromyalgia… One is I’m all alone, you know, no one else understands this pain. And then there’s a point you can get to where it becomes universal and you understand that everybody’s got something. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my body has a fragile ecosystem and I’ve gotta tend to it.”

Kirsty Young

Kirsty Young

Kirsty Young, a broadcaster on the BBC Radio 4 show “Desert Island Discs,” announced in 2018 that she would be taking a break from the position due to fibromyalgia. She explained: “Casting away some of the world’s most fascinating people is a wonderful job – however, I’m having to take some time away from Desert Island Discs as I’m suffering from a form of fibromyalgia.”

Young indicated that she hoped to spend some time healing and then return to the show.

 

It’s nice to know that celebrities are just like the rest of us and suffer through the same types of illnesses that we do. I commend all of these people for sharing their stories in the public eye. To them and to you, I say…

There Is Always Hope!

Overcoming Depression With Fibromyalgia And Invisible Illness

If you are a patient with Fibromyalgia or another Invisible Illness, chances are you’ve felt depressed at some point. Depression is prominent in fibromyalgia patients with the risk of getting depressive symptoms at least once being about 90% and getting major depressive disorder (MDD) being about 62–86% in fibromyalgia patients*.
Depression Is a Big StormBy following an appropriate fibromyalgia treatment plan and getting the support of family and friends, you can take control of your fibromyalgia. You can also get control over your symptoms of depression and improve your quality of life.

What Is Depression?

Sadness is a normal reaction to loss or life’s struggles.  Depression surpasses sadness and becomes a problem that affects your whole life. People who are depressed commonly experience:

  • Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • weight loss or gain
  • thoughts about death
  • Irritability and guilt
  • Anxiety that won’t go away
  • Insecurity and a feeling of helplessness
  • decreased energy
  • difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • uncontrollable tearfulness

These thoughts, physical changes, and feelings interfere with daily life.

What Is the Link Between Fibromyalgia and Depression?

The stress from fibromyalgia’s pain and fatigue can cause anxiety and social isolation. The chronic deep muscle and tender point pain can result in less activity. That causes you to become more withdrawn and can also lead to depression. It is also possible that anxiety and depression are part of fibromyalgia, just like the pain.

Depression and fibromyalgia can greatly interfere with the way you manage your activities at home or at work. So it is important to openly discuss any symptoms of depression you have with your doctors.

Does Stress Increase Depression With Fibromyalgia?

The stress of living with chronic pain and relentless fatigue can put a person into “overload.”  This results in near catastrophic levels of nervousness and anxiety. Doctors aren’t certain yet whether stress brings on Fibromyalgia or if Fibromyalgia brings on stress. All we know for certain is that it’s a vicious circle and that stress adds to problems of anger and irritability. Most patients feel their pain and fatigue worsening over time.

Is Depression Common With Invisible Illness?

Feelings of depression are common with all types of chronic pain, including headache, back and neck pain, hip pain, shoulder pain, and the pain of fibromyalgia. For example, the prevalence of major depression in people with chronic low back pain is about three times greater than in the general population.

Continuing that vicious circle, being depressed also increases the risk of developing chronic pain. Patients describe greater disturbances because of pain and display more pain behaviours than other pain patients who are not depressed.

One of the worst things that happens is that people with chronic pain such as fibromyalgia start to isolate themselves from family and friends at a time when they often need them the most. They become more focused on their pain, which causes further withdrawal which then causes more depression and round and round it goes.

Ways to Ease Depression With Fibromyalgia

It’s important to understand that fibromyalgia is more than the deep muscle pain and tender points you feel. It encompasses everything about you — your feelings, emotions, and attitude; the way you respond to stress; and the way you communicate with others.

The good news is, though, that while there is no cure, the fibromyalgia pain and symptoms of depression can be successfully treated.

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

One of the most effective treatments for fibromyalgia and depression is a program called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT is a type of treatment that helps patients understand the thoughts and feelings that influence behaviours. CBT is commonly used to treat a wide range of disorders, including depression, and anxiety.

This negative self-talk can fuel a sense that negative experiences are catastrophes, which further increases stress, anxiety, depression, and pain.

Your doctor can refer you to a CBT program offered individually (often online) or in a group format.

  • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

This program, which teaches mindfulness to patients, had demonstrated remarkable benefits for reducing fibromyalgia pain as well as anxiety and depression. “Mindfulness is an awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally,” according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, a pioneer of mindfulness in medicine.

Being mindful means intentionally being present with your breath, thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You can practice mindfulness through meditation, body scans, mindful eating, or mindful movements like yoga or Tai Chi.

You can find an MBSR program offered in your community through your doctor.

  • Music for Pain Management

Music has a powerful effect on the mind – listening to music is associated with the release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that is known to have a role in the body’s natural pain-relieving mechanisms. It also produces relaxation, which in turn can help to lift your mood and ease your pain.

A study published in Science Daily found that, when people with chronic pain listen to music for an hour a day, they experienced up to a 21 per cent reduction in pain and a 25 per cent reduction in depression. Additionally, they found that listening to music made participants feel less disabled by their condition and more in control of their pain.

Music that you find relaxing is likely to be the most effective for improving mood and pain levels. However, music doesn’t have to be soft and soothing to be effective. Whatever type of music makes you happy is the best kind to listen to, so go ahead and turn on Rock & Roll, Grunge, Heavy Metal or Classical…it’s your choice.

  • Medication

Medication does have a role in treating depression in people living with Fibromyalgia or other Invisible Illnesses. Only your doctor can know for sure if you require medication so it’s important you seek medical care if you are experiencing the symptoms of depression.  The goal is to help you feel better and often a short course of medication might be an option in conjunction with one of the above treatment options as well.

As you can see, depression can wreak havoc on the body already plagued by Fibromyalgia. Don’t let it isolate you from your family and friends. If you’re experiencing signs of depression, seek help. The sooner you start, the better the chances are of decreasing your pain and suffering and getting you back on track to better health.

There is always hope

*https://www.news-medical.net/health/Fibromyalgia-Depression-and-Anxiety.aspx

Fibromyalgia and Pet Therapy

Fibromyalgia and Pet Therapy

pet-therapy

Fibromyalgia can be a lonely disease. Staying connected with friends and family becomes difficult when chronic pain and fatigue make it hard to get out and about like you used to. Sometimes, having a pet can make all the difference in the world!

Not only will a furry friend give you some companionship, but it turns out that pet therapy can actually be a pretty effective way of dealing with fibromyalgia pain. Here’s how it works.

What Is Pet Therapy

Pet therapy is a guided interaction between a person and a trained animal. It also involves the animal’s handler. The purpose of pet therapy is to help someone recover from or cope with a health problem or mental disorder. Basically, it involves using specially trained animals like cats and dogs to provide comfort to people who suffer from diseases like fibromyalgia, cancer, dementia, etc. The animals provide companionship while the patient pets or plays with them, reducing the amount of stress and pain they feel.

The biggest concern when it comes to pet therapy is making sure that the animals are well-trained and vaccinated. Because pet therapy is often done in hospitals, doctors want to be sure that a dog won’t get loose and run around contaminating the area.

With that being said, pet therapy, when done by a professional, is perfectly safe and can be very effective in treating fibromyalgia pain.


What Are The Benefits Of Pet Therapy?

Pet therapy builds on the pre-existing human-animal bond. Interacting with a friendly pet can help many physical and mental issues. It can help reduce blood pressure and improve overall cardiovascular health. It can also release endorphins that produce a calming effect. This can help alleviate pain, reduce stress, and improve your overall psychological state.

How Can Pet Therapy Ease Fibromyalgia Pain?

While the idea that simply petting a cat or dog can actually help your fibromyalgia pain seems a little far-fetched, there’s some basic science that backs it up. You see, petting an animal has been shown to cause your body to release lower levels of cortisol, which is the hormone linked to stress. And cortisol levels are directly linked to the amount of pain people with fibromyalgia feel.

And in addition to helping deal with your fibromyalgia pain, pet therapy also has other benefits. Depression and anxiety are both common among people with fibromyalgia, and it turns out that pet therapy can also help significantly with those symptoms. People who engage in pet therapy report consistently lower levels of stress and anxiety than people who don’t. There’s something about stroking a companion animal that lends a level of comfort to people who are suffering.

And taking care of an animal also helps people with fibromyalgia get more involved in daily life. Taking the animal on walks or playing with them in the park are great ways to coax yourself out of bed. And that’s especially true on days when your fibro pain makes you want to just close the curtains and go to sleep. So, a therapy animal can even be a link to the rest of the world when you have fibromyalgia.

So pet therapy can not only help you reduce your fibromyalgia pain, it can help you feel happier and less anxious.

How Can You Start?

Your doctor or therapist managing your treatment will administer pet therapy. A trained handler, often the pet’s owner, will take the animal to every meeting and work under your doctor or therapist’s direction to help you reach your goals. In most cases, the handlers work as volunteers. Discussion of proper pet handling is needed to ensure the safety of both the person receiving treatment and the pet.

Or if you prefer, you can also purchase your own animal that has been trained to be a therapy animal. There are lots of different breeders and trainers. And one should be able to help you find what you are looking for. A quick google search should be enough to find some in your area.

So maybe you’re the kind of person who hates having to leave their loyal pet behind. Well, getting them certified to provide therapy means that you can get comfort from them anywhere you go. And that can be a great thing when you’re suddenly struck by a fibromyalgia flare-up during your daily routine.

Animals make great companions, and it turns out that they might actually be great for treating fibromyalgia pain too. So if you’re tired of trying side-effect riddled medications, some alternative pet therapy may just be for you.

Outlook

The success of pet therapy depends on establishing realistic goals and expectations and meeting those goals. You and your doctor or therapist will establish these goals at the beginning of your treatment. You’ll also discuss how to reach those goals and how long it will take.

Your doctor or therapist will monitor your progress and help you stay on track to meet your goals. If your progress is slower or faster than expected, they may alter your treatment plan.

Managing My Mental Illness

I have Bipolar Disorder and have talked about it before on my blog. It’s not something I hide but I don’t really discuss it much either so I thought I’d share a bit more about what it looks like for me.

Although currently stable on medication, when I was unmedicated and undiagnosed, I would have the most incredible highs and lows. My manic highs would see me racing around the house, cleaning whatever I could, and cooking dinners every night and baking and crafting and never, ever sleeping…I would be up for days on end without any sleep at all. At my worst, I was awake for 8 days in a row – and I mean without a drop of sleep. I was unbeatable…I would shop online without realizing what I was doing, and then all of a sudden, these packages would start arriving and I would have no clue what was in them – usually jewellery (cheap stuff) or clothing from Zulily (an online store I love).

woman-shopping-online-sample-sale

On the other hand, when the inevitable crash came, I would crash hard. All I wanted to do was curl in the fetal position in bed and sleep…so that’s all I did. I didn’t bathe, I didn’t eat, chores went by the wayside, forget about cooking and crafting. I did the bare minimum to keep my cat alive and my husband had to fend for himself after a 12 hour day at work when it came to eating, plus do the dishes. I rarely left the bedroom, unless it was to spend mindless hours on the computer doing nothing.

Once we realized how serious the problem was, my husband and I realized it was critical that I needed to be on medication. I saw my doctor and was started on Seroquel. After that drug stopped working, I’ve been taking Abilify, which has been excellent for me in terms of managing my symptoms. Unfortunately, the side effects have been harsh and I’ve been paying the price.  I am not a vain woman, but I’ve put on 20lbs since using the medication (in 6 months) and it’s 20lbs I can’t afford to carry on my 5’2″ frame. I have no ability to exercise and lose the weight, especially now that I’m wearing an Air Cast on my left ankle to try to help reattach a tendon that has torn away from the bone. Plus I take other medications that all have their own side effects…so I have to be careful with those as well.

Screen Shot 2018-10-29 at 6.16.50 PM

I’ve also experienced some other unpleasant side effects including severe brain zaps, and I’ve been seeing shadows on the sides of my vision. These were enough to send me back to my Psychiatrist to discuss making another medication change – the dance that you tango when you have a mental illness. He’s decided to try me on one of the older drugs that is less likely to cause weight gain like so many of the newer ones do. It’s called Zeldox (my family doctor says it sounds like a cartoon character and I agree!) and the side effects listed are as follows:

  • constipation
  • cough
  • diarrhea
  • dizziness
  • fatigue
  • flu-like symptoms (e.g., fever, sore throat, chills)
  • leakage of fluid or milk from breasts (women)
  • menstrual changes
  • nausea or upset stomach
  • rash
  • restlessness
  • runny nose
  • sexual difficulties
  • vomiting

In general, most of these are mild and go away in the first couple of weeks of taking the medication, so I’m not too concerned. I’m just hoping that the brain zaps disappear as this is one of the most unpleasant of all the side effects that I experience. What is a brain zap you ask?

Brain zap or brain shiver is a term used to describe the sensation of a sudden jolt or buzz in the brain. It is also compared to the electrical shock, has no apparent cause and is brief in duration. In most cases, it’s relatively mild but people have reported the occurrences of very extreme and painful jolts. They are a temporary occurrence. Brain zaps can sometimes be accompanied by dizziness, tinnitus, mild pain and ache and a general sense of discomfort.

I experience mine as a buzz that goes across my head from ear to ear. I can hear the loud buzzing sound as well as feel it, but there isn’t any pain. It’s almost like the hum of an electric razor, but very quick and sudden. Sometimes it’s just one zap, sometimes it’s a series of them. They’re mostly just annoying more than anything but a side effect I can do without due to their frequency.  The shadowing I’ve been getting in my vision is more worrisome as I tend to freak out about anything to do with my eyes. I have no eye problems (other than wearing glasses) and I’d like to keep at least one body part in good shape for as long as possible if you know what I mean!!

I start the new medication on Monday, Dec. 17th but am writing this post to be read in February so I’ll add an update underneath so you know how it’s going.

Bipolar Disorder can be tricky to manage but with the right care, the proper medications and taking them at the right times, it can lead to a normal life. I’ve found the perfect balance between mania and depression. Now I’m able to function most days with the cooking and cleaning when my other health issues allow it and my poor husband can come home to dinner waiting most of the time. I feel more likely to work on a craft than when I was in a depressive crash, and while my sleep still isn’t the greatest, I’m not staying awake for days on end either.

Sometimes called Manic Depression, Bipolar Disorder causes extreme shifts in mood. People who have it may spend weeks feeling like they’re on top of the world before plunging into a deep depression. The length of each high and low varies greatly from person to person. If you are experiencing these symptoms, please see your doctor. There is help available and beyond that…

There is always hope!

Chronic Illness and Anxiety

When you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic illness, you may feel as if you’ve lost control over your future. The stress of learning to deal with doctors and specialists, coping with physical changes, and managing daily life can often lead to excessive worry or stress. Researchers have found that experiencing a chronic illness puts a person at increased risk for developing anxiety or an anxiety disorder. Roughly 40% of people with cancer report experiencing psychological distress that often takes the shape of excessive worry or panic attacks.* People with ongoing, or chronic pain are three times more likely to develop symptoms of anxiety.**

Woman-in-pain-500x334

The daily demands of living with a chronic illness continues to present challenges and generate anxiety long after the diagnosis has been given. Loss of mobility or other abilities can lead to worry about employment or financial concerns. Depending on others, worrying about becoming a burden or even intimacy with your partner may also be concerns. Some people are more easily able to adapt to the changes in their lives. Others may feel overwhelmed with anxiety and struggle to cope. Still others may be in limbo, unable to make decisions about their future.

The Most Common Anxiety Disorders are:

1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) involves excessive and uncontrollable worry about everyday things, such as health, money or work. It is accompanied by physical symptoms such as restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, fatigue and difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
2. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) entails persistent, recurring thoughts (obsessions) that reflect exaggerated anxiety or fears. Someone with OCD often will practice repetitive behaviors or rituals (compulsions). For instance, obsessing about germs may lead someone with OCD to compulsively washing hands—perhaps 50 times or more per day.
3. Panic Disorder includes severe attacks of terror or sudden rushes of intense anxiety and discomfort. Symptoms can mimic those found in heart disease, respiratory problems or thyroid problems, and individuals often fear they are dying, having a heart attack or about to faint. The symptoms experienced during a panic attack are real and overwhelming, but not life threatening.
4. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can follow exposure to a traumatic event, such as a car accident, rape, a terrorist attack or other violence. Symptoms include reliving the traumatic event, avoidance, detachment or difficulty sleeping and concentrating. Though it is commonly associated with veterans, any traumatic event can trigger PTSD.
5. Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is characterized by extreme anxiety about being judged by others or behaving in a way that might cause embarrassment or ridicule. People who have SAD have what feels like exaggerated stage fright all the time. SAD is also called social phobia.

Specific phobias are intense fear reactions that lead a person to avoid specific objects, places or situations, such as flying, heights or highway driving. The level of fear is excessive and unreasonable. Although the person with a phobia recognizes the fear as being irrational, even simply thinking about it can cause extreme anxiety. I personally am terrified of the Dentist, even though they treat me gently and with compassion. I have to take medication to help relax me in order to go for a simple cleaning.

Fortunately, anxiety is treatable with therapy, medication and complementary and alternative treatments (i.e. acupuncture, massage therapy, ). But when the focus is on the chronic illness, anxiety is often overlooked. That’s why it’s important to talk to your doctor about your emotional and cognitive health, and to speak up when you experience signs of anxiety.

Emotional symptoms of anxiety include:

  • Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody
  • Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control
  • Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind
  • Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed
  • Avoiding others

Physical symptoms of anxiety include:

  • Low energy
  • Headaches
  • Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea
  • Aches, pains, and tense muscles
  • Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
  • Insomnia
  • Frequent colds and infections
  • Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
  • Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet
  • Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
  • Clenched jaw and grinding teeth

Cognitive symptoms of stress include:

  • Constant worrying
  • Racing thoughts
  • Forgetfulness and disorganization
  • Inability to focus
  • Poor judgment
  • Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side

 

What You Can Do

Challenge negative thinking. When you’re anxious, your brain may jump to conclusions, assume the worst, or exaggerate. Catastrophizing and ignoring the positives in your life may occur when you live with the challenges of a chronic illness. One way to manage anxiety is by being aware of the negative thinking, examining it and challenge the irrational thoughts. Counselors/therapists can play an important role in teaching you this important coping skill.

Calm your mind. Relaxation techniques can be an effective way to calm anxious thinking and direct your mind to a more positive place. Consider whether mindfulness meditation, yoga, or other breathing and focusing practices can still your body. Taking  time to relax, increases your ability to think objectively and positively when it comes to making choices about your health and life.

Find a good Doctor. If you take medication for both mental and for physical health, it’s important to that your doctors are aware of all your medications. Some medications may actually escalate anxiety, so it’s essential to work with a prescriber who can make informed choices that address both conditions without worsening either.

Find a support group. Managing a chronic illness can be a lonely job as it may be difficult for loved ones to understand the unique challenges. Support groups, whether online or in person are wonderful for creating community but also for providing information that can help reduce worry. They can also connect you to valuable resources for treating your illness.

Acknowledge successes. Anxious thinking about chronic illness can keep you from feeling that you have control over anything in life. It’s important to acknowledge all successes, both big and small. Keep track of the healthy things you do for your mind and body. Exercising, going to counseling, spending time with a friend–these can all help. Keeping these successes at the front of your mind can help you combat worry. They can remind you that you do have the power to affect your present and future.

If you think that you might have anxiety in addition to chronic illness, be honest with your doctor. Ask for help. Anxiety is highly treatable, so remember…

There Is Always Hope

*https://adaa.org/serious-chronic-or-terminal-illnesses
**http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/depression_and_pain

An Attitude of Gratitude

Are you grateful for your life?  Are you grateful for the things you’ve been given? Are you grateful for Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue? What about your other Invisible Illnesses? For Fibromyalgia? I am, and let me explain why.
I have had my Invisible Illnesses for over half my life now, and they have been a predominant part of my life since 2004 when I went into a major flare that I’ve never recovered from. That was the year I had stomach surgery for severe Gastric Reflux disease – a procedure called a Nissen Fundoplication. The surgery itself was successful, but I suffered nerve damage in the sternum area from where an instrument being used was pressed too hard against a nerve for an extended period of time, causing it to be pinched for over an hour. This caused me excruciating pain that didn’t resolve for almost a year and had me addicted to morphine pills to the point that I was hallucinating. In fact, at one point, the general surgeon called in a Thoracic surgeon, who was going to crack open my sternum to try and fix whatever the problem was – a drastic solution indeed.
I’m grateful this didn’t happen and the Thoracic surgeon had the sense to suggest a drug called Gabapentin for nerve damage which is what he suspected was the problem, and he was right.
I spent almost a year in a hunched over position, trying to “contain” the pain, it was so bad. I ended up having to go for physical therapy and massage in order to loosen up my muscles to where I could stand in a straightened up position again.
I’m grateful for the therapists that helped me.
I’m grateful there are medical teams in place when we need emergency surgery, such as when a cyst I didn’t even know I had on my ovary burst, causing me horrid pain. It needed immediate removal and there was a team to do that. Just like there was a team to remove my gallbladder and my other ovary when it went rogue as well.
And I’m grateful for my three doctors who have worked with me and my overall health issues over the last five years, Dr Leong, Dr Winston and Dr Burnett, my orthopedic surgeon who did my hip replacement.
Okay, you say…it’s easy to be grateful to the people who help us, but how can you be grateful for having Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia and all the other stuff. Well, I’ll tell you.
When you have Invisible Illness, you tend to miss out on a lot of life. You may have to give up your job or volunteer activities, your hobbies and family life. You end up losing a lot more than you seem to have left. But what having a Chronic illness does is force you to dig deep to FIND what you’re grateful for. I made a list:

  • Sunrises and sunsets
  • Quiet mornings after a good sleep
  • A perfect cup of coffee
  • A day where the kids get along and no one is fighting
  • A day where the cat or dog doesn’t barf all over the place
  • Feeling energetic enough to accomplish a few things on the “to do” list
  • Feeling rested
  • Feeling less pain than normal
  • Being able to go for a coffee date with a girlfriend or two
  • Having dinner with your family together instead of needing to lay down
  • Date night with your spouse
  • Watching a movie together instead of early to bed
  • Having a bath or shower
  • Having enough food on the table and money in the bank
  • Laughter
  • A sense of safety and security
  • A roof over your head
  • Feeling loved
  • Having a close friend you can confide in
  • Books to read and art to admire
  • Social media like Facebook and Pinterest
  • Ice cream or a favourite treat
  • Family and friends to share memories with
  • Vacations

I could go on and on…the point is, there is so much to be grateful for, but when you live with Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue and Invisible Illness, it’s easy to get stuck wallowing in the negatives, to the point you forget to stop and remember to be grateful. Take a moment now to list a few things that you’re grateful for and make it a habit each day to say thank you. An Attitude of Gratitude is easy to cultivate, but like a good garden, you need to tend to it every day.
Remember…
there is always hope!

Ranting and Swearing…Grrr!

Back in my post of Two Months Later…and counting, I mentioned I was having problems with my Achilles Tendon. Well, I finally made an appointment with a Physiotherapist to have it looked at, as the pain and tenderness has been increasing. And what did I find out? It’s not just tendonitis in the Achilles Tendon, oh no….I have to have Bursitis on top of it, AND it’s most likely there are tears in the tendon itself.
Fuck
Rod is the therapist I’m seeing, and he gave me all the information to explain his findings. He could tell via massaging the tendon and my reaction to the pain that it spread beyond the tendon and into the bursa as well. He did 20 minutes of acupuncture with 4 needles (what is it with me and needles???) and will do that for a few weeks, plus he showed me some stretches like calf raises and modified lunges he wants me to do, to stretch the tendon out. If I want a permanent solution though, he said it’s most likely that I’d need surgery to repair the tendon. Otherwise, the only other option is to just put up with the pain.
Like, I don’t already live with enough pain? UGH! Here Pam…have another heaping helping. Go on…there’s plenty more where that came from apparently. Plus I haven’t even dealt with my shoulder yet -I think I’ve torn the Rotator Cuff. I have an appointment in August to see Dr. Winston, my Pain Doctor, about that on a more official basis. I mentioned the pain last time I was there (for the Synvisc and Botox), as I couldn’t even put my right arm behind my back, and I still can’t. I can’t raise it above my head or beyond straight to the side – it just won’t move any further. And yes, there is pain. And numbness.
Who does this??? Who has a body like this, that just falls apart for no apparent reason???
I’m done. I am simply done. I am worn out physically and I’m sick and tired of things breaking down in my body. I’m scared to ask “what’s next” because there’s going to be a “what’s next” and I’m not sure I’m prepared to deal with it.
Oh yeah – I have my Brain MRI on Friday, June 22nd at 6pm.
Great.

There is always hope!