April 10, 2019
My husband lost his job on Monday. In some ways, it was a complete shock and in others, not so much. He’d been doing the work for the past 2 years, but there were a couple of aspects of it that he struggled with right from the start, and despite the best efforts of himself and the company, that never changed, no matter how hard he tried.
Ray is a natural thinker who likes to really research things before making big decisions. Unfortunately, this role required quick decision making in a couple of areas and it was out of line with his natural way of doing things. He could pick up the pace for a while but then would revert to his default behaviour of trying too hard to please everyone. When he was let go he was told it was nothing personal and they’d be happy to act as a reference for him, but he just wasn’t the right person for the role.
Was losing his job his fault? No, it wasn’t. The company simply made the wrong choice when they hired him into this position and he did his best to make it work. They needed someone more senior with more experience in certain functions, like HR and product knowledge. He did his best to accommodate them, but it simply wasn’t the right fit.
It always comes as a blow when you realize you don’t fit in properly. Ray has ADD and that makes everything an extra challenge for him. Did it affect him at work? Absolutely. It’s always been a problem in his life, from work to home to relationships and so on. He works incredibly hard against the odds and has had great success in his life in many ways, despite the challenge. I’m always so proud of him and how he goes above and beyond to be of service to others. And sometimes, things happen beyond his control, no matter how hard he tries.
Change is a difficult thing. We like to believe that we’re immune to it but by its very nature, change is hard to manage. It knocks us from our comfort zones, it reminds us that we’re infallible, and it always seems to come as a rude shock. Losing this job means there will be big changes in our life for the foreseeable future. We’ll be fine financially but we will need to reign in our spending. I had to cancel a much-anticipated trip to Montreal with our son this fall and to Las Vegas with our daughter. I had hoped to take each of them on a “vacation with Mom” this year, but those plans will have to wait for another day.
One thing I’ve always prided myself on is finding the bright spot in a dark situation. I told Ray that perhaps this is God’s way of making sure he’s available to take care of me this summer when I have potential brain surgery. See…bright side! It will also be good for him to take some time to find a position that really is the right fit for him. And there’s nothing wrong with noting that he’ll have some extra time on our motorcycle this summer as well.
Ray is already busy updating his resume and trying to make some decisions about what it is that he would like to do. We talked about everything yesterday after the shock had worn off, and even discussed the possibility of him going back to school. He’s always loved being a student, and perhaps it’s time for a real career change instead of the more manual work he’s done in the past.
Change is confidence shaking. I don’t ever want Ray to think he’s not enough just as he is. Unfortunately, losing a job makes you question so much about yourself, and your choices. Did this seem like the right fit for him? Of course it did, or he wouldn’t have taken the job in the first place. It’s not until you’re in the thick of things that you realize you may be over your head and by then, it’s often too late.
You sink or swim, and Ray swam for 2 years before being reeled in. Should the company have done something sooner? Maybe. Should Ray have recognized this wasn’t working and found a different job sooner? Maybe. There are no hard and fast rules when you’re faced with these types of scenarios. And that’s why there’s no fault to apply. What’s happened has happened and as a Christ Follower, I like to believe it’s for the best, even if we can’t see what God’s plan is for us. We put our trust in Him and leave it there.
In the meantime, we will continue to go about our days with courage and the expectation that things can only get better. To think otherwise would be an insult to God (whom we trust completely) and to our intelligence. I don’t hold to the notion that one bad thing leads to another. I just trust that things will work out exactly as they should, and if I’m able to figure out why this is the plan, well, good for me. And besides that, I never forget the name of this blog or what it means…
there is always hope